Diary of an Anorexic poet

started this 10 years ago but it was forgotten as my life raising 2 grandkids with special needs happened.
It was a busy and sometimes very overwhelming few years in our lives along with my sister.
You are welcome to read it anyway as I return to it and fix the boo boos!
3-4-2024
Jan 14th 2014

If your reading this far, I'm thinking you or someone you know,are dealing with this. Anyway I hope to share some info,as I learn more about something I struggled with for many years,yet am teaching myself how to deal with it,and move beyond it.

As a child growing up in the 60's,there were NO 1-800-help-me-lines. Secrets of Mental illness,drinking problems,gambling ETC,were kept hidden. My Grandmother passed away in 1967 of Cancer. Later I learned her Death certificate listed "Natural Cause's" As the cause of death... People spoke in whispers about "The C word" as it was called,as if they could Catch Cancer by speaking about it...


Welcome to my journey! Bookmark if it is helpful. I'm writing this as I go along.I hope to spend more time here and will return. I'm going to re-post this on my blog(today & yesteryear.) So others may find help or at least a handle on it. I joined 2 groups on my private page of Facebook. I ate a Bagel so far today.I told some of my family and friends for the first time today,and they all rocked so much,by being supportive and posting likes and words of encouragement.
This means the world to me.Honestly I'm so used taking care of the "world" and family,yet being "Cheap" with myself. I need to learn to love myself and see what others see in me...
Bless Y'all for being on this journey with me.
"The journey of 10,000 miles begins with ONE step." Lao Tzu, a quote that has got me through many times in my long life!

Jan 15th So I have Been doing soul-searching again,"So vat's Nu?!" I have more projects then "Carters have liver pills,or for the younger generation"More issues then a Newsstand!" Or an I pod with digital Mad Magazine's downloaded!
At any rate, I am taking a good free Kabbalah class,and have fallen behind,yet I'm NOT going to quit,till I catch-up. Some of it,I totally understand,yet I see just how much I STILL need to learn. So am going to just let this unfold...


"I once had a life & an appetite...
Tried my best to just do right.
In a world that seemed to go mad & bad.
Searching for others of like-mind.
A blessing to know all the Apples in the barrel choose not to turn and be unkind.


I did eat today and am working on getting to a healthy place,with the food in my life.
And dealing with still another turning of a page in life... Welcome to this chapter Of "Chapel Perilous..."
Be well & happy!
Jan 17th sat. The past 2 days,I have been feeling discouraged. Something like "why should I bother with any more therapy or fixing myself up even more?" I go through spurts of this,when I am getting closer to making progress.
I think of the Native American wisdom " How can you help anyone else if your own house is not in order?"
Very true thinking! And so One of my goals for this year is to learn how to eat right-again.

My next is to make and stick to a realistic goal for writing & reviewing. I create diversions for myself,when life is really stressful. I make so many good plans,yet get overwhelmed because I set the bar too high... Then I get frustrated,angry and depressed.
So I'm going to take it slower,yet still aim for progress. And am slowly making myself eat more... I helped out a friend with his painting business today. It felt great to be helpful and do a good job!
Till next time TA TA!
Jan 20th I had a nice person,give me a review that was very heartfelt. I asked if I could post it here. For now will update what's going on in my world! First I want to share one of my tweets,that was passed to me on one of my Facebook pages.I put on my port,it won't post here.I was really good with doing HTML-code. I taught myself am rusty. I will be working on rebuilding my old page,Sea of good karma.


Dr Martin L King,did so much to help others...
He had a dream, many of us still have too REPAIR THE WORLD ANYWAY YOU CAN.
That's what I posted on my tweet.


I'm on a roller coaster with my eating. A good day,then not so good. Today is not good so far. I helped a friend with a painting job,over the weekend. It felt good to be busy doing something worthwhile. I'm a hard worker,even with my disability's. I'm going to upgrade before I expire on Feb 15th. The Heat bill was more then we expected,and I almost asked for an upgrade. Instead I hope the 40% off will still be there,when my disability checks comes.

It's funny, I sent 7000 gps,to donate and help others,yet I don't like to ask for help,for myself...
Today the Sun is in Aquarius,air sign--lots of good energy! the Moon is in Virgo. earth sign-getting things done,also a nit-picky sign! I should know,I'm a double Capricorn with Virgo rising! For those who don't know much about that. It means I'm a hard worker,and pay attention to details. Sometimes to the point of too much!
I always loved this site,since I found it in 2004. I never had the time to be here,as much as I wanted... I have so many favorites,that I planned to review over the years. Did my best,and now hope to reconnect more here. It's worth the 40 bucks to me,to be able to post images and other things.

That's for your support--you know who you are! (If you need help-call the F.B.I.) That was a line from the show: National Lampoon Lemmings. I worked for it back in the 70's,and miss my buddy and Co-worker John Belushi .Have a great day--( I will have some food in the near future!)

I got a reply,so here is the neat words of a caring soul...
Hello DL, I have just read your ,"Diary
> Of An Anorexic Poet," and thought I would leave some comments.
>
> It is good that you are writing this down, I think it helps a lot to write when we are
> suffering some kind of illness, whether it is physical or mental.
>
> My niece was anorexic, she struggled a lot.
>
> Good luck with this and keep writing it.
>
> Best wishes.
>
> Sanita

Thanks-- so good to meet you!~~~~
Glad your Niece won her war with it...OX

Jan 22 Up too late. Ate much today. I made myself take a long walk,looked around Goodwill. My body is catching up with my age. I need to take it slower...

Jan 26 Hi I'm not trying to be "cheap!" But I'm so tired am going to paste what I wrote for today from my blog,till I can have one here! Luv 2 all!
http://todayandyesteryear.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-stars-are-in-very-good-place....

I tried to make a blog here! They are having issues with uploading. So will paste in what i was doing. I'm eating more & smoking less cigs. the last pack I bought was Thursday! I have a vapor-thing & rolling my own tubes help!
Now back to the show Kids!
*
Wow so much has happened dear universe over the past decades...
I can scarcely believe,we have escaped with our life & nearly most of our senses!
I have no idea what the so called higher-ups had in their minds,but That's not my concern at this point in time. What irks me is when people profess to know so much,about subjects they have no knowledge in. They act like Composer of fools,pretending to be experts in things they are ignorant to!
What a raging folly of beings. yet it is what it is! Not always as pretty as we might prefer. That's life for now..

I've not been feeling well,am trying to get my strength back..
March 2nd,I know it's been awhile since writing here. That's a really good thing! My health has been crappy w/ some things(Am dealing with it!) The good stuff is,I'm eating a bit more & Have been busy being in touch with so many people from my life. I am so happy,even with the health non-sense! I need to get this & my other blogs to be included on the same link,so everything is close! I will be back,and finally figured out how to have my own Tweet button!
Have a blessed sunshiney day!