The New Moon

"The New Moon: A Christian Short Story"

by: G.B. Lilley

The truck lights simultaneously blasted through the dark night and the cloud from John's breath in the cold night air.  John was not struck one bit by the convenience of being able to unlock his truck, light his pathway, and crank it without even removing his hands from his warm pockets.  The rocks of the parking lot crunched under his feet as he, looking more like a walking bundle of clothes at this point kept up a brisk pace to his vehicle.  In a time of severe economic uncertainty, John had not only maintained a job, but climbed the ladder to the level of district manager.  It was John's mindset at this very moment that had catapulted him above his peers.

The clear evening, his warm home, wife and children - the very beauty of this world and all of the conveniences of this age were lost on him.  It was merely subconscious thought that told John to bundle up in cold weather, for his mind was a million miles away.  As a man highly committed to his work, his mind was continually at work solving problems of the day.  He was thankful that the drive home was lengthy because it took at least this much time to disengage from work and to transform into a husband and father.  Admittedly, often times it took much more than this.  A couple of hours on the couch watching mindless television and a glass of wine or two would often do the trick. 

"No bother" he thought "I'm much more of a family man than others.  I give it my best."

John did not think of himself as derelict in the least, but much more considered himself worthy of honor, glory, and .... well, at least a little while to relax after a hard day of work. 

"The kids are young anyway and there will be plenty of time" he often thought. 

All of these thoughts were merely part time participants in John's mind and were much more likely not pondered of at all.  Most of the time, John was not even aware that he thought them as they were only a small insignificant stepping stone to where John liked his mind to rest. 

         Just keeping an eye out for deer on the country road heading into town was enough to pull him somewhat back to reality.  The political show on the radio usually did the rest.  After five minutes on the road, the heater was just starting to work its magic because driving with a jacket on made him feel claustrophobic, he always prefered his arms as free as possible while driving.  This was so much the case that he couldn't stand to drive a vehicle with any kind of arm rest.  It was only one of John's many small obsessions.  While it wasn't being obsessive in itself that propelled John, but his obsessions in particular and his determination to satisfy them that made him such a successful businessman.  This was his view of himself anyway.                         

John in his own mind was not a workaholic, because being a workaholic was a problem, and John had no problem.  He liked to think about ... -- a glint on the side of the road turned into an object and then more precariously, an object quickly moving into the road.  The object in the millisecond that John had to recognize it went from a blur to a graceful doe that would have been unavoidable if John had been going even a single mile per hour faster.  All mental exercises and maneuvers ceased as he now focused on the preservation of his truck and at the least his life.  Slamming on the brakes, John calmly, because there was no time for any other emotion, guided the truck to the side of the road.

         The businessman's next notion was to turn down the heater and to light a ciga... -- no he gave that up years ago.  John had been shaken up, but was not surprised by the appearance of the deer.  A feeling of thankfulness rushed over him, not so much because of his truck and body still being intact, but because of the darn inconvenience that it would have caused for him to have to be dealing with a body shop in the morning instead getting everything done that needed doing at the office.  The thought that he could have ended up in the hospital was simply inconceivable; John most certainly did not have time for such nonsense.  The constant corporate drone of "nothing else matters except how much money we make" reverberated through his mind and he was all too aware of how closely they, the company that is, sat on the cusp of being profitable for the first time in six months.  Things were looking good and it was feeling like they were running a business again for the first time in quite a while.  Hospitalization would have been a major roadblock to that cause and John viewed it as nothing more than that.

         The cold glow of the speedometer and other indicators coupled with the dim light of the radio buttons illuminated his lower half while the warm light from the reflection of his headlights set him aglow from the shoulders up.  All of this was only interrupted by the random vehicle passing on the road either fully lighting him up from the back or blinding him in the front depending on the direction of travel.  He watched the moving shadow of his own vehicle dance in the field to his right as other cars passed him by.  John had missed the deer but in fact had been hit.  He had been pounded with a merciless blow as if the weight of a thousand tidal waves had simultaneously crushed him from all directions.  John's heart felt as if it were literally being folded in half by a force with as little mind to his feelings as a butcher has towards the cow in folding over a piece of hamburger meat. 

         His stomach was no better off and he felt that feeling for a moment near the back of his tongue that one gets when he is about to be sick.  It was the stress that was killing him.  John knew that now.  He had been in denial of it for years at this point and now the devil of it was taking of its mask.  However, the stress was what he enjoyed.  He quit tobacco years ago and simply traded one addiction for another.  It was the stress he was under that gave him purpose in life, it was this that made him feel useful.  Now that he realized that it was causing health problems, he even deep down, though not aware of it, rejoiced at the notion of martyrdom.  Still, in an instant society, instant relief was necessary and his only chance for relief, which was to prove only a partial relief was to make a grab into the back seat for a bottle of antacid he carried with him.  His arm floundered and flapped in the back through the darkness in search of the bottle now displaced due to the slamming on of the brakes earlier.  His left hand was reaching for the dome light to brighten the cab while his right hand continued its search.  John only thought to stop and look up at the dome light after he cut his finger on the sharp edge of a jack stand that had been thrown in the back and not put up in it's proper place. 

         John turned his head back and drank the thick milky substance that tasted like mint flavored chalk.  He felt the antacid hit his stomach and had immediate relief.  It was then that John's attention was taken away from himself and out of his truck into the cold night sky.  There was a light in the sky that was totally unfamiliar to him.  It was difficult to tell if it was moving or if the clouds were moving against it.  Only after concentration and looking at the tops of the trees in comparison was John able to determine that it was stationary.  It in fact was not a simple light like a star, but a large ring of light in the sky and on end of it had an exceptionally brilliant light that tapered off around the edge of the circle, it was almost like a large upside down diamond ring hanging in the sky.  It struck John as his eyes recognized the object that this was the moon, a new moon.  He had never seen one this big and this bright.  The dark portion of the moon covering ninety percent of its surface was still clear even in its darkness. 

         Long ago John knew that people kept up with the cycles of the moon and the months themselves were dictated by its cycles.  Now he thought about how no one, including himself, even pays attention anymore to the cycles of the moon.  It had been many years since he saw a calendar with the phases of the moon listed on it.  His mind thought back to the days when he couldn't even see over the dashboard of his grandfathers old Chevy and remembered the old stick on calendar given out by the farm insurance company with very little information on it, no holidays or events, just the days of the week and the phases of the moon. 

         The miracle was not in any of the previously stated details, but in the fact that John's mind was now broken away from the world of work and now focused on the glorious moon before him.  John had never seen a moon like this before and was awestruck.  All at one moment, the lights of his dashboard, the rumble of his truck, and the voices coming from the conservative radio show were all in blasphemous discord compared to the silent rising majesty before him.  John immediately shut off his engine and cut off the radio.  Before shutting off the engine, despite the bitter cold, John rolled down his window as there could be nothing to separate his eyes from the magnificent shining ring.  The moon in its state seemed to be awaking from a slumber, the new moon with a glint of light, the beginning of a new lunar month.  It was changeless and pure, white as snow always showing us the same face and always hiding the same secrets on its far side.  It then as an usher, a slave to the most high, brought the creator to John's mind. 

         John was a Christian and he knew that the glory of the Moon was only a pale reflection of the glory of God.  John saw the heavens with new eyes and realized the smallness of himself and all people for that matter compared to the divine engineer of all worlds, stars, powers and dominions.  John, thinking of the greatness of God and meditating on His majesty at once felt unclean.  It then came into his mind that he could not be close to the Lord.  John was a sinner indeed and the tidal waves of emotion that flooded him earlier now seemed as tidal waves of filth and sewage.  His work life was left wanting.  John, after he was saved was a totally changed man.  He felt at that moment as if he was entirely cleansed of all of his filth.  He cleaned up his language instantly and began to have a love for righteousness and a hatred for evil, desiring to be more holy was his every wish.  The master held him by the hand in those days and life was easy because all was Christ. 

         The last year had not been the same.  While John read the Bible all the way through in the first year he was a Christian, his Bible reading had waned significantly in the last year.  Likewise, his prayer life had faltered.  It wasn't that John didn't read his Bible or pray, he did often, but the great insatiable hunger to do so had withered to only a small percentage of what it had been in those early days.  John realized his need for fervent prayer and Bible reading now and was aware of his great need for Christ and His protection, His guidance, His leadership... John hungered now for everything that the Lord offered.  However, in the last few months, if anyone were to have watched John pray in church, it would have been apparent from the outside that he was deep in prayer.  His eyes were shut tightly and his knuckles even white as his hands gripped the pew in front of him.  Inwardly this was not the case for John felt as if his prayers were bouncing back down from the ceiling and felt no real connection with God and his outward appearance was one of frustration which in his case had been masked so well as sincerity. 

How could John run to Christ now?  He had sinned and had always known during this whole time in the back of his mind that it was his sinful behavior at work that was disrupting his fellowship with Jesus. 

He felt disgusting and even though he could not see them in the dark, every drink can, wrapper, and discarded coffee cup in the passenger floorboard cried out to him in judgement, "You are filthy, you are unclean and unworthy of fellowship with the most high." 

The mud clods in his floorboard and the coat of dirt covering his white truck spoke in unison with a more reasonable tone, "Yes, John, you are unclean, but as your grandmother used to say, 'clean aint but clean', so get cleaned up, go work on yourself, then you can come back to God when you have things in order, tomorrow, or well, maybe next week would be better?" 

John knew that this was right, he didn't feel right about running to Christ only when he felt like he was in a pinch.  What kind of relationship would that be?  Johns hand moved for the ignition to get back on the road and get home.  Maybe tonight he would spend some time reading the Bible after dinner. 

         John knew not how close he stood to the edge of the precipice.  It was not only the Moon that stirred John's heart, but the one and true God of the universe Himself who moved him.  John stood dangerously close to rejecting the mercy of God in this moment.  It is a common misconception among men that they will always have another chance tomorrow, that somehow they can choose the place and time that they will repent and draw near to God.  When God extends an opportunity for one to accept His mercy, there is no guarantee that He will do it again.  God is not bound by some outer force, nor by His own word to do so.  Every time a man rejects the gospel message, this is a most dangerous thing to do.  It could be for him as missing the last highway exit before driving off a cliff.  When Esau "desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears." 1

         That is the sad truth for every man that does not belong to the Lord.  However, although we often describe this spectacle as sad on this side of glory, and of course it is whenever a creature made in the image of God rejects his creator and embraces rebellion, at the same time God is good and will always do what is right.  Unfortunately for those in rebellion who die in that rebellion God is doing what is right by serving justice upon them.  God always doing what is right does not necessarily mean that he will always act in such a way to bring you the greatest joy and pleasure.  One day, those who are His will see things in a different light, they will see them from a viewpoint closer to God's than of man's.  It is from that point of view that a Christian parent gone on to heaven will be able to know of even their own child in the depths of eternal flames and say "it is good, it is right, amen Lord Jesus." 2

         John however, although not deserving, belonged to God and the Father knew him before the creation of the world.  Not because John was brilliant, strong, fast or handsome, but because "God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God." 3  John belonged to Christ and there is no force, no ruler or demonic power that could snatch John from the hand of Christ. 4  Now at that moment, the Lord faithful to His word was merciful to John yet again by removing the fog before him to see that the notion of not running to Christ in his time of need was in itself from the evil one.  John hand again placed the keys in the center console and gave up cranking the truck. 

         With a raspy dry voice  "Lord, I trust in you, and I know you are" John cleared his throat "leading me and disciplining me as a son."

         What happened next could not be described as speech because there was no voice, nothing was audible in the air, but John knew that it was of the Lord. 

         "John, yes, you belong to me."

         A tear streamed down John's face and yet his face was one that was obviously still holding back when heart bursting, he began to openly weep.  "Lord, you continue to show me your hand in my life as you again and again show me that I cannot stand on my own two feet, but must continually lean upon you" John sobbed.

         Christ also spoke to him in another way.  John had studied the scriptures since he became a Christian and the Holy Spirit was able to bring verses to his mind that he otherwise had forgotten, but once knew.  This too is the voice of Christ and will be described as such since Christ is, by the apostle John, described as Himself the Word of God.

         "Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall" 5 Jesus replied.

         "Lord it is so true that I thought I stood.  I was completely relying in my own strength and thought that I was the one in control.  I can see now how everything began to spiral downward.  As soon as I believed the lie that I stood on my own two feet, my prayer life began to not mean nearly as much to me."

         John now recounted everything that had happened.  His prayer life faltered, then his Bible reading.  He went to a very good Bible believing church so the importance of Bible reading and prayer was often impressed upon him so he had continued to pray and read his Bible ... but it became more of a routine than something to connect him with his Lord.  John's obsessive nature kept him on track in that regard and had rarely missed a day in his quiet time.  Soon the results of his empty devotions had started to rear their ugly head as John began to make minor concessions at work.  John had begun to think of work as something completely separate from his church life and home life.  A great part of the problem here was that John had never properly understood the doctrine of vocation in the first place.  Yes, he heard it talked about and nodded his head in agreement with others who brought it up, but had yet to learn it experientially. 

         The Holy Spirit brought it to his mind "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 6

         This verse hit John like a rock between the eyes. He glanced back at the moon having seen it this way for the first time in his life, he was now seeing this commonly quoted verse of scripture in a new way as well.  It was as if John had been living in a small box since he was first saved and thought of this as his entire world.  Now one side of that box had been blown completely off and his eyes adjusted to the brightness and beauty of a sprawling unexplored landscape before him.  How could he have read and reread this verse so many times in his life and not seen it in this way?  It was as if he had been hit with a bolt of lightning when he realized that he, only a few months ago, helped his children memorize this very verse for their Wednesday night classes at church. 

         The implications of understanding this verse began to expand more rapidly than can be described in speech in John's mind.  The Word of God interrupted his train of thought.

"For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw-- each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.  If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward.  If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire."7

The certainty John had about the moon hanging over his head was the same certainty John now had that he had greatly neglected the duty to build upon the foundation of Jesus Christ.  John also now knew that Jesus had been leading him all the way.  It was not that Jesus led him into sin, but that Jesus had disciplined him when he allowed himself to slip into sin.  The more John thought he was standing on his own two feet, the more the Lord withdrew.  This was not a cold withdrawal like a parent abandoning an infant on the side of a mountain to die, but one of love and purpose for John's growth as a Christian. 

The Savior spoke "My son do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."8

And, "We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."9

         John felt his heart warm at knowing the Lord's love for him.  He knew that his own love for the Lord was insignificant compared to that which Jesus had for him.  John felt unworthy as well.  This feeling of unworthiness along with deep love for the Lord had a way of pushing John into a state of worship.  He cranked his truck now knowing that a new moon had risen in his own heart and he had a brand new view of the Christian life.  He felt comforted as well, knowing that there would be trials in his life, he knew that as a new moon is not only a once in a lifetime thing, likewise the Lord would bring them again and again to his soul as he grew in Christianity, in love for Christ and in obedience. 

         1          Hebrews 12:17 (ESV)          

         2          From a sermon by Paul David Washer          

         3          1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (ESV)          

         4          John 10:29          

         5          1 Corinthians 10:12 (ESV)          

         6          1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)          

         7          1 Corinthians 3:11-15 (ESV)          

         8          Hebrews 12:5b - 6 (ESV)          

         9          Romans 8:28-29 (ESV)