Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang

Birthdays had always been their thing. Born together, love together, and probably die together if God knew what was best for him. Ever since I could remember our birthdays had always been with each other and our families since our fathers had been best friends since high school and in the military. They were like brothers so much that our houses were next to each other. It also made sense that my father would be okay with me dating a Honeycutt boy except he wished it wasn't Korey. Any of the four Honeycutt boys except Korey, the bad boy who my father seemed to have it in for since we were kids. It was probably due to the baseball going through his window, the few times he caught Korey in my room, and the multiple misdemeanors that my father could probably list from memory, but not today. Not on our eighteenth birthday. It should have been a celebration, but the awkward silence in the room as our mothers brought the candle lit guitar cake requested by Korey a month ago. I glanced at Korey whose shoulder length jet black curls were tied back as he completely ignored me and glared at my father who was glancing down at the table as if it were his salvation. I knew Korey was mad, but rejection didn't get him quiet rageful mad. I knew him like I knew the back of my hand and the sound of my voice.

"Come with us. Come with me out of this stupid town and lets just get away and make our dreams come true. This record deal is a saving grace. We won't have to be stuck here or going to college to just be like our parents, stuck in bad marriages and living perfectly on the outside. You'll like New York and we can live together, " he tried to persuade me early that day as I laid in his sun kissed arms under a blanket in his messy room full of music, posters, his guitar, and pictures of everything he ever cared about including me. His hand seductively rubbing my back up and down, kissing and nibbling my neck

"I can't, Kore. I can't do that to my family. I can join you, but I can't just run off and not think about them or what they hoped for me."

"I'm leaving after graduation. Chlo, you don't owe anything to either one of them." He was so adament, making my heart clench, but choosing my family or him just couldn't happen. I turned my head, gazing around to prevent myself from tearing up.

"No, Korey. I won't."

That was the end of the discussion. Both of us were hard headed and he knew I wasn't going to change my mind, but he was more than just tense from that conversation. I could sense it. His brothers and our parents cheered for us to blow out the candles and I was the only one to.

"Kore, blow out the candles. Don't you have a wish," I teased, but my smile dropped once he finally looked at me.

"No. Trust me. Candle wishes won't do anything right now. The damage is already done," he snapped, glancing back at my father and then at his mother.

"Not now, Korey," his older brother, Tommy, muttered under his breath and stared at Korey, silently commanding him to end my confusion and his scowl turned into a chilling snarl smile.

"Why not now? It's a perfect time. We're all together and look at Chlo. She's dying to know what I mean," he replied and his other brother Julian nodded with that same kind of anger that wasn't shared by the youngest and the oldest Honeycutt, but it was obvious that her father knew what they were talking about.

"Please, don't," were the last two words my father said before shit hit the fan.

"Please don't. Maybe if you had given my brothers or even my father a chance to say that before you started banging my mother on a regular bases. When did you start having an affair with my mother. That day I caught you banging her in my parents' bed while my father was at the mechanic shop working or way before that. I'd like to know. I'm hoping I'm not like your bastard child whose been fucking his half sister. Yes, I did say fucking because that pretty little mouthy shit you have as a daughter has probably been doing the same things my mother has been doing to you. That some shit for a daytime show, but I'd rather not advertise that crap for the sake of the man who raised me."

I lost more than my breath. I went dead cold with his words, but gazing around, I knew they were true. He stood up, glaring at me for a minute, waiting, but I just glanced down, feeling the tears rush. Then he left with Julian as his father, my godfather, stalked towards my father, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him into the wall as his wife cried and his other two sons tried to pry him off. All I could do was cry. Everything else in me I thought was just in pain. Everything I knew was crumbling.

"How fucking long, MARCUS!? HOW LONG?" my godfather shouted with his face turning a beet red and his spit hitting my father's face, tightening his grip as his oldest and his youngest tried to pry him off and the slam of the door with Korey and Julian at the other end.

I searched around for the only comforting face that I knew would help, but my mother was no longer around. Then there was a loudest pop sound from upstairs and I went completely numb. That was one of the last times I ever cried because of Korey Honeycutt.

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Balcony views were always the best places to view the glitz and glamour of the best parties, check out the competition, who to check out, and to hide away from those looking to use me, have me, friend me, or hate me or all of the above. My mentor and former husband, Blue, always said that geniuses behind the talent hid in the background because they knew better and let the foolishness of this life take the sheep. Geniuses lived in the shadows and died with more talent and love for what mattered in their blood. Beauty more than talent but still talent was what had made me a successful songwriter, talent hunter, and music producers of my age, one of Blue's best prodigies and his heir. Love is what set me down this wayward, shadowed path and not the good fairy tale with happily ever after love either. Muses never get those. Love is like a soul crushing suicide that you can't fully die from for people like me, but each time it cuts or rather the person involved cuts you with it to the core. I could handle the rock stars and actors eye fucking my curves in the tight fitted short red and black dress before I climbed away in my black spiked studded pumps. I was use to it. Sex wasn't love. Hell sex appeal only made my job easier with a men dominated world. Now I was staring at the one person who keeps me able to write because of the continuous soul suicide deep within, wishing I could forget. Forget he crushed my heart. Forget he destroyed my life. Forget he was my whole world in one hot package. Forget he was the reason I still graced this world. Forget him, but fate was a bitch whose puppies keep running after me my whole life and I still gasped at the sight of him.

My iphone was inconveniently being held hostage to keep me here so there was no music from it that could numb me out of concentration. I was tempted to get a glass of champagne, but the green eyed devil swiped the one I was going for and glared at me, daring me to do something I knew that I shouldn't and probably more. I fidgeted a little under his gaze, wanting to run, but I straightened with steel composure. "Where are the others?"

"Downstairs enjoying the party. Free booze and hot girls. It's like Christmas for them. What are you doing up here? Hiding?" he asked, smirking and trying to take my porcelain hand in his, but I pulled back, walking closer to the balcony, feeling stupid butterflies spring up that I desperately wanted to shoot down and run down with a tank.

"Why would I hide? It's a party. All the hottest artists of the label are here. Most of them want to or have worked with me and it's one of the biggest celebrations in New York and part of it is to celebrate my late husband's and my work. Speaking of work, shouldn't you be schmoozing down there with the boys. It's what you're good at."

Instead of snapping back, he laughed and I fought not to slap that smug smile on his handsome face. Cruel Doubt, his band, was one of the hottest rock bands at the label. Having my ex here was inevitable, but it didn't mean he had to be this close. The tiny hairs behind my neck stuck up at how close he was. If Blue had been there, it would be one thing, but he wasn't s other hunger in the rockstar's eyes were flamed and not hidden and he thought he knew her. "Yes, I am, but I'd rather be here schmoozing since we'll be working closely together. Might as well do what I'm good at with you."

"Don't try it, Honeycutt. You're schmoozing no longer works on me. We're working together. Nothing else or did you forget that I hate you or why. I'm doing this for Blue," I snapped and his smirk faded away and his whole demeanor under his informal dark ripped jeans and leather jacket changed.

His hand smoothed the side of his new jet black mohawk. "No, I haven't forgotten, Chlo. You won't let me no matter how sorry I am or what I do to try to prove it."

His band mates, Julian, Rex, and Luke came up, his always back up as informal as he was looking, except Jules. He at least tried with necktie. All of them a tattooed work of muscled art that should have been in a modern day museum. I use to know all of them before the label, the money, the hate, and that stupid song. An arm snaked it's way around my waist, preventing me from walking back downstairs and getting lost in the sea of stars, booze, and flashing lights.

" I see you found our Muse already, Kore," Matt stated, bending down his tall frame, taller only by a few inches than Korey, to kiss my cheek with his ruffled geled dark brown hair more styled than ever but he was going too close to my mouth for my public comfort. I never was public with anyone except Blue and that was only when he wore me down into getting married. His hazel eyes darkening as he stared at me. I knew he was doing it for show because what he found out. Heat traveled up and down my back and into my cheeks as Korey glared between us and Matt twirled his fingers into my strawberry more red than blonde locks down my back.

"Of course. It's hard not to when we have such a connection to...music of course. Plus I know she's the only person with tattooed stars from her ankle traveling all the way to her thigh here. It's a hot, starry way to Babylon, my friend. I should know. I got there first," Korey laughed humorlessly as Matt's smile dropped a little.

It was like a pissing match between two alpha wolves. I pushed myself out of Matt's embrace because neither one of them had the right to try to claim me. Instead I ran to the safest band member of Cruel Doubt I knew. Luke gave me a big brotherly bear hug like I expected. " Hey troublemaker," he whispered.

Jules coughed next to him and Luke quickly released me. I glanced at Jules annoyed and he actually had the decency to look guilty, but again, he was his brother's keeper. "So I here Blue's wish has you playing Santa for us, but with hotter legs. I know Korey's been waiting to work some magic with you," he teased, but it only made my stomach tighten with that feeling like I needed to run again. I hoped all my emotions didn't show. I never wanted him to see the effect he had on me ever again.

"You all will have a Grammy worthy hit and prime songs for your new album. Then you guys can hit the road and then hopefully I won't see your fucking brother again or his attempt at magic. Matt, I think your wife is looking for you," I stated, plastering a cold smile on my face. My iphone and Vienna be damned. I was leaving. " Nite boys."

"I think I'll stay a while after. It might be fun," Korey called out while I walked, almost ran down the stars. "It'll be like old times."

Something about what he said just brought me back to that day and that inner rage I kept in check came up. " Except this time I will kick your ass and celebrate when you decide to run away again. You wouldn't last a week not getting your way. Stock up on those New York groupies. You'll need them to inflate that ego of yours. At least this time maybe someone won't kill themselves because of your words."

Mouths dropped as I left the tense scene. "Damn! Fire crotch burned your ass, Kay," Rex mumbled aloud, fumbling with his cigarette.

I was almost at the door when that familiar tug made me glance back and I wish that I hadn't . I dared him with my words and I should know better. He always took them. He glared back, standing there like a fallen angel, saluting me with a nod as if taking the challenge.

"Fuck you," I mumbled, remembering that had been the problem in the first place.