senseless

senseless. you are over a girl you've been so fucking in love with for a long time but never got the same back and you feel perfectly happy because you don't get up from bed anymore thinking about her from the moment you open your eyes, you don't wonder if she had texted you in facebook or somewhere else, you don't wonder if she even cares about you.. thinks about you.you feel satisfied with life now. you have more free time for yourself. for your studying, for watching movies, reading books, training harder or just being alone and not thinking about whether she likes you or not.you are totally over her.. totally. because now she has somebody else to think about her and she feels the same for him. they are perfect and you are not even jealous but happy for them because even though you've spent almost a year to get under the skin of this girl and failed now somebody has done it right and they are happy together. this seems okay right? but what happens when suddenly you meet a girl and not intentionally get to know her better. she seems nice and you start chatting with her more often but you notice something about her. she reminds you of somebody and even though you act like she doesn't you fucking know that she does. and you fucking know who she reminds you of more and more with everything she says or does. absolutely the same character. but you've started to like her and you know how this is going to end up because you see that she doesn't have the same feelings.but it is so nice to continue this because it brings back memories of the previous girl. and don't stop and you consciously fuck yourself up even more than the previous time only because it's familiar and it has some good moments from time to time. something she says or does which you take for more than it is. and you know it's not but you hopelessly hope that it is.and you continue this act of self-destruction god knows why.now how messed up is that?