Torn Apart

Looking at him now, I couldn't help but compare him to Sam. His hair was short, cut close to his head. There was nothing for me to run my fingers through when we kissed. But Sam had that perfect length of hair that I imagined twisting my fingers into.
Thinking of curling my fingers into his hair led to his lips. Sam's were full and tempting, giving me fantasies of what it would be like to have his lips cover mine. Matt's were just a thin line, making it nearly impossible to find them desirous. Would Sam be a good kisser, unlike Matt? Not that Matt was bad at it. Just not exactly what I'd call a good kisser.
Matt didn't have much of a tan, which tells me how much he stays indoors. Sam's was dark, darker than mine, even. I knew he was constantly outside, working in the sun, and his skin showed it, along with his muscle. His muscles were perfectly toned from the work he did, not an ounce of fat on him. Matt didn't have toned muscles, but he wasn't fat, either. He had the kind of muscle that told me he probably goes to the gym a couple times throughout the week. His stomach showed a little bit of chubbiness, but it was the kind of chubby that would be nice to cuddle with, not the bad kind. There wasn't enough of it to be bad.
Matt had a perfectly straight nose with light freckles around it. Sam's was a little crooked, showing that he'd been in a fight at some point in his life, one that didn't end well. He didn't have any freckles.
The shapes of their faces were different, too. Matt had a round, boyish face, giving away the image of pure innocence. Sam's was hard. Strong, square jaw. His whole face had a “rough around the edges” kind of look. There was no doubt of just how manly he was.
And then there was their eyes. Matt's were blue, the color of the ocean. They were warm and inviting, always showing me his emotions and what was on his mind, almost as if they were transparent. Sam's were such a dark brown, but only a kind, chocolate color if he was in the right mood. They never gave away what was on his mind, but they intrigued me.
Now looking into his eyes, I realized that Matt was staring at me. “Are you okay?” he asked me, looking concerned. “You look like you've got something on your mind.”
What was I doing, thinking of another guy like that when I have a boyfriend? Matt was so sweet and always thinking about me. Sam was just a guy that Daddy had hired. I threw him out of my thoughts and focused on Matt's concern. “Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking,” I explained to him vaguely.
“You seemed like you were thinking about something pretty hard. Mind if I ask what it was?” He didn't look suspicious, just honestly curious. I felt guilty about my thoughts.
“You,” I told him the half-truth. He smiled, and leaned down to give me a short kiss. Feeling satisfied with his happiness, I curled into his chest, turning back to the movie.