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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Death · #1963813
A serial killer remembers how she became a killer back in grade school.
I remember the first time I killed. I was nine years old. I didn’t look like a killer. My hair was blonde and curly. My eyes a bright blue. I had good manners and good behavior, which made me popular and everyone liked me.

I was adopted at age three. My new family named me Suzy.  I was lucky I had a loving home. We looked like the picture perfect family. However, on the inside, it was a different story. You see I had a temper. A real nightmare of a temper. It might have had something to do with my adoptive father and his little game we played on his lap. He was very careful not to let my mommy catch us. He swore me to secrecy, so I never told anyone. I think that just fed the fire inside of me. It could have been hereditary and been in my genes or something wrong with my brain. It had been a closed adoption so there was no way to check the genetics. My mother always made excuses for my temper.

My mother brought home a fluffy white kitten, and gave it to me. I named it snowball. We got along pretty well until it grew up. One day we were playing and it bit and scratched me. I hated it from then on.

One day I got some gasoline from the garage and some matches. I doused the little shit and set it on fire. I stood there and watched it flop around, burning. It was screaming from the pain. I stood there mesmerized and tingled all over every time it screeched. I stood there and watched it until it was still and just a black smoldering corpse. I buried it in the lot behind our house and told my parents it had just run away.

I enjoyed it so much I thought of other ways to kill. The neighborhood animals started disappearing. No one suspected me. I was everyone’s darling.

Soon I got tired of animals and couldn’t help myself, I started studying my classmates. There was a boy named Roger who had a crush on me. He was poor and lived on the other side of town. Of course, usually I wouldn’t give him the time of day. But this craving inside me was growing, so I asked him if he would like to meet me in the woods behind the school. I told him not to tell anyone because it was a secret. I learned that from my father. He blushed and promised to be there.

I sat in class not paying attention but getting excited and feeling fear as well. It was almost intoxicating.  I came up with several plans before I decided on one. I had found a pocketknife a couple of weeks ago and had stuck it in my locker. It would work perfectly.

After the bell rang, I put my books in my locker, took out the knife, and stuck it in my backpack. I waited and made sure no one saw me walk into the woods. Roger smiled as I walked up. I smiled back at him. “Do you want to play a game,” I asked him. “Sure” ‘he said. He would have done anything I asked him, he was so smitten with me.

“Let’s play blind mans bluff. You get to be it first, and see if you can catch me.”

“Okay,” he said. “But I have to warn you, I am pretty good at that game.”

I tied the blindfold around his eyes. “Can you see anything?” I asked him.

“No I promise.”

I watched him stumble around arms out, searching for me. I took the knife out of my backpack, and walked up in front of him. “Ha, I got you, he laughed.

“No I got you,” I said as I sliced the knife across his throat. I hit the main artery and the blood pumped out. He didn’t know what I had done at first. He tore off the blindfold and choking, he looked at all the blood running down the front of him. I stepped back to escape the blood that was squirting out of his neck. I didn’t want to get my dress dirty. He looked up at me again, eyes wide and unbelieving, then he fell down. I stood over him watching him bleed to death. Feeling that thrill but at an accelerated level. I knew right then that I could never go back to just killing animals. It was nothing compared to this.

“Help me,” he rasped, blood bubbling out the corners of his mouth.

“Now why would I want to do that,” I asked him. “I just want to watch you die.” I smiled at him. I sit down on a log close by and dug my lunch out of my backpack. I sat there and watched the life drain out of him, all the time eating my sandwich.

I finished and made sure he was dead, then covered him up with leaves. What was I going to do with him? I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

I noticed it was getting late, so I went home and crept up the stairs to the bathroom. I noticed some blood spots on my dress, so I changed clothes and hid it in my closet until I could get rid of it.

Mom called upstairs and told me to come down, that supper was ready. I walked into the dining room and she smiled and kissed me on the forehead, saying, “And how is my pretty girl today? How was school?”

I smiled sweetly and said, “Fine, I made an A+ on my English test.”

I sat down and snuck a peek at my father sitting at the end of the table, reading the newspaper. He looked over the top of the paper and gave me a secret smile.

We ate dinner and I did my homework, said goodnight and went up stairs to go to bed. I waited until I heard my parents retire for the night, then got out of bed fully clothed. I had to figure out a way to hide the body.

I took a blanket and flashlight and sneaked out the back door. I went into the garage, grabbed the shovel and put it, the blanket and flashlight in my wagon. I headed out to the woods where I had hid the body.

I found the body and wrapped it in the blanket. I had to struggle to get him into the wagon. He was slightly bigger than I was. I covered the blood soaked ground with leaves again. Then pulled him to my graveyard behind the house and buried him. I stood there for a moment. My first human, but definitely not the last. I was addicted now. I will get better at it as time goes by, I thought. I covered the spot with leaves and grass to hide it even though no one ever came on the lot because it was fenced and private. I added him to all my buried animal carcasses I had collected through the years.



The next day at school, I looked back at Rogers’s empty chair and smiled. I relived the whole scene in my mind and felt the excitement all over again.

When I got home from school my mother was watching the news. It had Roger’s parents in tears, asking anyone who had seen Roger to please contact the police. He had been missing since yesterday. He never came home from school.

My mother sat down on the couch slowly and patted the place beside her. I sat down and she wrapped me in her arms. She looked down at me and smiled, “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you sweetheart.”

I hugged her back. I really did love my mother, at least I think it was love.

There was an area manhunt all through the woods and no body showed up. At school, they came over the intercom and warned everyone not to talk to strangers, or get in the car with anyone they didn’t know. The cops finally decided that he must have been kidnapped, so he was put on the missing list. All the while, he lay in my little graveyard.  A few months later, it was accepted and forgotten.

But me, I remembered. I couldn’t forget the pleasure it gave me. The memory was fading though so I needed to create it again. I started studying my classmates to see who would be my next victim. Since my last victim had been a boy, I decided this time to kill a girl.

The choice came when we were putting on a play at school. I was up for the lead roll as the princess, but another girl got it instead. Her name was Amy Martin. She was new at school. She had moved here about a month after I killed Roger. I hated her inside for taking my part, but on the outside, I made friends with her and since I was so popular, she was thrilled to be my friend.

I told her that I had a secret club and that I wanted her to be in it. I told her she couldn’t tell anyone, and excited she agreed.

One day I told her to meet me after school out by the woods, so we could have a club meeting. “Make sure you don’t tell anyone. It is our secret,” I told her. She said she would, and sure enough, she was waiting for me at the edge of the woods.

“I’m not supposed to go into the woods. My parents won’t let me.”

“They won’t know. Remember it is a secret and no one knows so they won’t find out.”

She hesitated for a minute. “You’re not a scardy cat are you,” I taunted.

“Of course I’m not,” she said.

She followed me into the woods. I took her to the place where I killed Roger. I told her she had to go through a test to see if she was brave enough to be in the club. I told her she had to be tied to a tree and take an oath.

After I tied her to the tree, I took out my knife and moved it around her face.

“What are you doing,” she asked. “Where did you get that?”

I just smiled at her. “I told you that you were going to be in my club. It’s called the Dead club.”

She started sobbing, “Please untie me, I have to get home.”

“Oh you won’t go home ever again,” I laughed.

I took my knife and started cutting her face. She screamed. Normally I would enjoy hearing her screams, but they were so shrill I was afraid someone would hear her even though we were in the woods. I stuffed my paper towels from my lunch, in her mouth. I could still hear her scream but it was muffled now. I could see the terror in her eyes. It delighted me.

“I wonder what you would look like without a face.” I said.

I started cutting around her face, then I took my hands and started at the forehead, peeled it down and off her chin, Her face was a bloody mess. She was struggling at her bindings.

“You should see yourself,” I said. “You look gross.”

I opened her shirt then and stuck my knife in her stomach. I watched as the blood dripped down. I looked up and saw that she was still alive, which made me angry for some reason, so I stabbed her repeatedly. The last one I stuck into her heart. As I said, I have a terrible temper.

After I made sure she was dead, I took her down and covered her with leaves like I did Roger, and as it was getting close to my dinnertime I started for home.

I went upstairs and washed up, then went down to dinner.

My mother smiled, “And how was my little angel’s day go?”

“Fine,” I said.

I waited until my parents were asleep, got up, and did the same thing I did with Roger. I added another body to my little graveyard.

The next day was Saturday and I didn’t have school. I was playing dolls in my room when my mother called me downstairs. I walked down slowly. There was a police officer standing there.

“Suzy this police officer would like to ask you some questions about Amy. Is that okay honey?” I nodded my head.

The police officer kneeled down to my height and smiled at me.

“Don’t be afraid, you’re not in any trouble. I just want to ask if you happened to see Amy after school yesterday. She didn’t come home last night and her parents are worried, she might be hurt.”

I shook my golden curls, “I just saw her at school. We ate lunch together. Is she okay? I like her. She is my new friend.”

“I don’t know sweetie. I hope that we can find her. We just wanted to see if you might have seen where she went after school.”

The police said he was sorry to bother us and that it was just routine. He thanked us both then left. He would never know if it was me, because I never used the same M.O. That would be boring.

“Suzy, I don’t want you walking through those woods anymore. Okay honey.”

“Okay Mommy.” I hugged her around her middle, and then went back up stairs.

That night my mother had a PTA meeting and my daddy called me into the living room to play our secret game. After it was over Daddy told me to go into my room, turn my light out and go to sleep. It made me angry. I lay there and the anger ate at me.

My mother came home from her meeting, came in, tucked me in bed, and kissed me on the forehead. I heard her getting ready for bed in her room. She always took a sleeping pill, so I knew she would be out of it until morning.

I snuck down stairs and saw that Daddy was slouched down on the couch snoring, where he had fallen asleep. I went out to the garage and got the hammer and came back in, walked behind the couch and swung as hard as I could and hit him in the head. You could hear it hit bone.

I went into the kitchen, got a butcher knife, and walked around the couch in front of him. He was stunned and was staring at me. I plunged the knife into his chest where his heart was. He put his hands down over the wound, looked at me again, with shock in his eyes, and whispered, “Why Suzy?”

“I don’t want to play your games anymore and I don’t want to go to bed yet.”

I sliced the knife in his stomach again, and felt it slide in to the hilt. I could feel the warm blood spreading over my hand. I plunged repeatedly until he was dead. Then I remember my health book at school and the pictures of all the organs in the human body. So out of curiosity I laid open his stomach and chest so I could see better, reaching in and pulling out his stomach. It was still full from supper. Next I pulled out his lungs, cut them out, and laid them on the couch beside him. I felt around the gooey bloody mess, found his liver, and laid it over with the lungs. Lower down there was a long woundy organ I remembered from my health book, that this must be the intestines. I pulled them out inch by inch.  They were pretty long when they were straightened out. I piled them by the lungs. It looked like a long giant bloody worm. I pulled out his heart but it was a mess from me plunging the knife into it.

He had his pajamas on so I pulled and slid them down. I had never seen him naked. All I had ever seen was the part he pulled out of his pants, and I always tried to look away because I didn’t want to see it. Now I reached in, pulled it out, and sliced it off. He had died with his mouth open so I stuffed it in there, and stood back to look at my handiwork.

“There, let’s see how much you like that Daddy dear,”

I ran up stairs, took a bath to get all the blood off me, and stuffed my nightgown in a secret place I had under the bench in the baseboard, in my room.

I went and crawled in bed with Mommy, put her arm around me and laid my head on her chest and snuggled her for a while. Then went into my bedroom and fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up to my mothers screams. She rushed into my room and gathered me up in her arms, sobbing, “Oh thank God you’re all right”

“Why are you crying Mommy?”

“Something happened to your Daddy.” She tried to calm down.

“Get dressed honey, and come with me down stairs.”

After we went down stairs, she led me into the kitchen, sat me down in a chair, and told me to stay there.

She called our neighbor Arlene and asked her to come and get me and watch me for a while. Arlene came over and Mommy leaned down to me. “Now I want you to go with Arlene and stay at her house until Mommy comes and gets you. Okay Darling?”

“Yes Mommy. Auntie Arlene, can we make some cookies?”

Arlene reached down and took my hand and said, “What ever you want Sweetie.”

My mother called the police and soon the house was crawling with cops. The Detective Greg Barns told my mother since there wasn’t any signs of a break in, that she was the prime suspect, and cuffed her and took her into custody.

They took her to jail and interrogated her for hours.

‘How could you sleep through something like that happening right down stairs?” he asked.

“I take strong sleeping pills. I didn’t do this. I loved my husband. I could not do something that terrible to him or anyone else. I’m just not capable of it,” she sobbed. “You have to believe me. Someone had to come in the house and do that.”

“Do you have a daughter? Where was she while it happened?”

“She was asleep. I got her up and got her dressed and had a neighbor come and get her. I didn’t want her to see anything that horrible especially her daddy. They were very close.  She is still at the neighbors.”

“Mrs. Clay, we can’t find the weapon. Where did you put the weapon?

“I don’t know. I didn’t kill my husband. I loved him.

The Detective came over to Arlene’s and asked me some questions. I told him my Mommy woke me up and I came over to Arlene’s. We baked some cookies,” I said. Do you want one?”

“No thank you Suzy. Did you hear any noise last night?”

“No I was asleep.”

“She is such a cute little girl,” he commented to Arlene.

“Yes she is. She is a good little girl, too good to have something like this to happen to her.

My mother had to go to trial and she was found guilty and sent to prison, so the case was closed. Before they took her away, she told me that my Aunt Ann and Uncle Ted were going to move into our house with me. They were going to look out for me until she got to come home. It wasn’t until this that I was told my Daddy was dead, which I knew already since I killed him. I managed to shed a few tears at the funeral

So I got to go home and Aunt Ann and Uncle Ted moved in. They thought it would be a good idea if I got counseling. So once a week, I had to go to talk with Dr.Gwen. I just told her what I thought she wanted to hear, and shed a few tears for my dad. I was becoming a consummate actress.

We settled into a new routine at the house. Aunt Ann and Uncle Ted went over board spoiling me. If I wanted something, all I had to do was cry. It was a great setup, and at least Uncle Ted didn’t want to play games like Daddy did.

I went back to school and did well for a time, but the craving came back and I knew what I had to do to satisfy it.

We had a neighbor down the street I would visit. Mrs. Kelly was old, very old. I helped her with the gardening. One day I was helping her when the craving hit. I tried to fight it. But when she told me I couldn’t pick some of the flowers that I helped plant, I got mad, and the rage rose to the surface. I picked up the shovel and while she was kneeling, pulling weeds, I hit her over the head with it over and over. It felt so good I did it a few more times. I hadn’t really planned on killing her. She was always nice to me.

This time I buried her under all her flowers in her own yard. They never found her, but the flowers grew beautifully.

I lured a couple more kids out to the woods With one of them I put some rat poison in some fruit punch. I sat there and watched him die. That was interesting. He foamed at the mouth and withered around with horrible stomach cramps, and turned almost green.

My little graveyard was growing bigger. It was a good thing my parents owned the lot behind us.

I had just turned eleven when I was walking down the street to go to the park. A car pulled up beside me. A man inside leaned over.

“Hey pretty, where are you going?”

“To the park,” I replied.

“Do you want a ride?”

I walked over to the car and looked in at the man. He was small, balding and had beady eyes.

“Sure,” I said and climbed in the car.

He made some small talk. He asked me how old I was. What my name was. I told him Suzy. He was trying to take my attention off the fact that we had already passed the park.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked him.

“I thought you might want to see my puppies. You can help me name them. Then I will take you back to the park.”

I didn’t mention that I killed puppies.

We pulled into a driveway and parked.

“Come on in and I’ll go get the puppies.”

He led me into the kitchen, got out some cookies and milk, sat them on the kitchen table, and invited me to sit down and have some.

“I’ll be right back,” he said.

After her left the room, I broke the cookie, threw it in the trash and poured the milk down the sink. I hurried back over, sat down and pretended I was chewing.

He came back with a couple of puppies. I had to hand it to him, he wasn’t a total liar.

He asked me if I wanted to come down to the basement and help him feed them. I smiled prettily and followed him down the stairs. The room looked like a workshop. He got out a bag of dog food and filled the bowels, all the time he kept glancing at me. I figured he was looking for signs that the drugs he put in the milk and cookies were starting to take affect. He was almost laughable.

He was a child molester. I knew the signs, after all one had raised me.

Further, back, I saw a door in the shadows.

“Do you want to play a game Suzy?”

“Sure, I like games. By the way what is your name?”

“Roy,” he said.

I took my backpack off and I sat down in an old rocking chair, I acted like I was getting sleepy. I nodded my head as if I couldn’t hold it up. While he turned away, I slipped my knife out of my backpack and stuck it down inside my boot under my jeans.

He came toward me and put his hands under my arms to pick me up, thinking the drugs he gave me had taken effect.

He carried me over his shoulder to the door at the end of the room, opened it and went in. I made myself go limp. There was an old mattress on the floor and he bent over to lay me down on it, when I reached into my boot withdrew my knife and plunged it in his kidney. He yelled with pain and dropped me on the mattress. He stretched his hand around his side, drew it forward, and saw the blood on it. His eyes held shock.

I moved as fast as lightening and plunged the knife into his gut. He fell to his knees. I picked up a chair and hit him over the head knocking him out. I had the advantage because he wasn’t expecting it. I dragged him the rest of the way up on the mattress, rolling him over.

I looked around. It was actually a great room. There were all kinds of weird looking instruments and knives. I noticed there was a lot of bleach. He was very clean.

I spotted some duck tape, pulled his hands in front of him, and bound his wrists together. Then I taped his ankles together.

While I waited him to regain consciousness, I checked out the room some more. There was a wall covered with pictures of kids. Most of them were blonde like me. It looked like he had been doing this for a long time. I sat down in the chair I used to knock him in the head and waited for him to come to. I had so many questions. It was like having my own classroom for killing.

He finally woke up and started to struggle.

“It won’t do you any good. You can’t get loose,” I volunteered.

He looked up, astonishment in his eyes.

“How does it feel to be on the receiving end?” I asked him.

“If you let me go I won’t hurt you,” he said, I’ll take you home.”

“Now why would I do that?” I giggled.

“If you behave yourself and answer all my question correctly, maybe then I will let you go.”

“You little bitch just wait until I get my hands on you.” he snarled.

I laughed, “You already blew your chance at that Roy. You have a hole in your stomach and if I didn’t miss my mark, a damaged kidney. It could take you days to die,” I said as I smoothed my curls, and brushed some dust from my jeans.

I swung my legs back and forth. “Now how about those questions.”

I walked over to the cabinet that held all the bottles and needles.

“What is in these bottles?”

“I’m not telling you anything”

“Okay then I’ll just go home and you can just lie here and slowly die. I have to get home pretty soon anyway. My Aunt will have dinner ready.”

He looked down at his stomach and saw all the blood. He knew what I said was true.

“What do you want to know?”

“What is in those bottles and what are they used for?”

“Chloroform. You can douse it on a rag and put over the nose and mouth and it will make someone pass out. Ether works well too.”

“What are the needles for?”

“I shoot them up with Rahgponal. In smaller amounts, it won’t knock them out completely. It paralyzes their muscles, so they can’t move. I also put it in their food. Those chemicals are hard to come by. I just happen to have a connection. Why do you want to know about them? You can’t get any of them.

“No problem, I will just bring my wagon and take yours. You won’t be needing it anymore.”

“Is that how you capture them? Because today you were pretty lame. I only came along out of curiosity,” I mocked.

“So you think you’re a little killer do you?” he mocked back.

“Oh I know I am. I just killed you didn’t I? Your not dead yet but it is only a matter of time.”

I walked over and took the straps that were attached to the mattress and secured him so he couldn’t roll off and grabbed my backpack and turned around to leave.

“Where are you going,” he yelled.

“I told you I had to eat dinner. I’ll be back tomorrow.

I went home and ate dinner, then kissed my Aunt and Uncle good night and went up to bed. I slept well that night.

The next day was Sunday, We went to church and after we went out to eat lunch, I told my Aunt Ann I was going to go to the park. I got my new bike that had been a bribery gift, and hooked my wagon to the back of it and went back over to the house where my new victim waited.

He didn’t look too good. I got him a drink of water and helped him drink. I had saved some my lunch, a piece of chicken. So I gave that to him. He was able to eat even with his hands taped together. I didn’t want him to die yet. I still had more questions for him.

I looked at his gut wound, cleaned it with alcohol and bandaged it up. He had lost a lot of blood.

“If you don’t let me go to the hospital, I’m my wound is going to get infected,” he said.

“I cleaned it with alcohol, and I have some antibiotics at home, I will bring you.”

I learned some more about killing. Of course, he had only a certain kind of victim that attracted him. I on the other hand was indiscriminant about whom I killed. It was still useful knowledge.

“I will be back tomorrow, Don’t go anywhere.” I laughed at the look on his face.

I took the bottles of my new toys to my graveyard and buried them, then went home. I couldn’t wait to try them out.

I had school the next day and I started to look around for my next victim. I spotted one soon. It was Maggie Dentin. She was one of the outcasts of the school. She dressed funny and was kind of a mousey girl. She didn’t have many friends. In fact most made fun of her behind her back. I went and sat down at her table at lunch, which surprised her. I made small talk with her and invited her to go for a walk through the woods with me. Of course, she said yes. She was impressed that I asked her at all.

I met her at the edged of the woods behind the school. She followed me into the woods like a lamb led to slaughter. I suggested that we sat down and have a picnic as I still had a lot of my lunch left. I put some of the Rahgponal in half of my sandwich and gave it to her. She was shy so I did most of the talking.  It didn’t take long for it to take effect. She couldn’t move but she was still awake. I got my knife out and stuck her a few times in the stomach. I could see the terror and pain in her eyes. It was exciting. I stuck her a few more times, then noticed that her eyes had glazed over and stared straight ahead. I brushed the leaves over her and went home, then snuck out later and buried her in my graveyard.

The next day at school, nobody missed her. I guess she was too insignificant. I felt no remorse. I figured I did her a favor. Her life couldn’t have been that great.

After school I went over to Roy’s. I decided if he wasn’t dead already that it was time he was. I had got all the information I wanted from him.



When I got there I took the tape from his mouth and said, “Well Roy what am I to do with you?  I think that it is time for us to part ways. I’ll make sure that you get the help you need after I leave. So I guess this is good bye. I stabbed him in the gut a couple of more times just for good measure.

I left him laying there bleeding screaming and cussing at me as I walked out. I just ignored him. After I left I stopped at a payphone and called the police station and anonymously reported that their was a child molester and killer at 1434 Chestnut Ave. Then I hung up. I wasn’t worried about him implicating me. I mean was he going to admit that a little girl got the best of an illusive serial killer.

Happily, I made my way home. Over the next four years, I filled up my graveyard. I was a habitual killer. I had lost count of how many bodies I had buried there. When I started  High School, I made my first mistake. I accidentally left my blood covered jacket in the graveyard. The boy I had killed started another manhunt. This time the FBI was called in. They found my jacket and found my graveyard. I snuck home and packed a duffle bag and headed out on the highway hitchhiking. I wasn’t sure where I was going but I figured where ever I went there would be someone to kill. The FBI would find my jacket and think I was a missing victim.

An old man, who smiled a toothless grin, picked me up.

“Where are you headed for girlie?”

“Anywhere you’re headed for Mr.”

“Well climb on in. There’s plenty of room.”

“A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be hitchhiking by herself”

“Don’t worry Mr., I can take care of myself.” I reached down and patted my knife, in my boot.”

“What about you Mr. Do you like to play games?”

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