The After Effect

We may not realize it, but for every person that's affected us, they've helped build who we are. Most of them we won't remember. We might see them walking down the street, smile and nod, but you don't think a second thought. Then there's the ones that truly touched you. Whether they meant to, they were able to pass the walls and leave a mark onto your heart. Our parents, our siblings, our teachers (the best and the worst), they are the obvious ones.

Some aren't so obvious. For example, I was in choir for a year, and while I loved the atmosphere I didn't feel like I was part of it. For most of the year I'd sing along side my peers but I wouldn't try to converse. Near the end, Rebecca (gifted pianist and always happy), one of my classmates, was handing out cards to people. I wasn't expecting it, but she handed one to me. Inside it said how happy she was to meet me, that I sang well, and that she loved hearing me play my flute. I never played it openly for her to hear, but I did practice a lot after school. The fact that she took the time to notice me despite my efforts to simply stay in the corner, it really touched me. I didn't expect anyone there to really care if I showed up or not. Maybe not for everyone, but for me those moments stay with me.

I find it funny how relationships work. They begin, they grow, and eventually they fade 90% of the time. No matter how it ended, you still remember the moments where you were happy. The way they smile, their laugh, their jokes. Even if it ended horribly, if you see them walking by you remember, if only for a moment, when you were together. It may hurt, it may bring you a smile, but the more important thing is that it shows that they are a part of you.

The first person you kissed, had sex with, fell in love with. You remember these moments. To get close to someone is to let them in, and once they're in a part of them stays. That's how you know still know what they're thinking when they've got that little smile. When you see a picture of them, you look at it for a second, and you see things others wouldn't see since they weren't with him or her. Maybe that they're still wearing that leather jacket you two used to joke about how heavy it was or that you used to wear yourself before you gave it back. Or that they still keep their hair short.

You see the differences, made from life, that weren't there before, and for a moment you wonder what happened to bring them about. You wonder if they're happy, if they still think of you, of the good times. You wonder what they're doing now. You might smile before you remember the ending, you might feel sad that it ended at all. Or you might feel better about it, because deep down you knew you two weren't made for forever. You shared a handful of moments, and hopefully, you remember them with a smile.