Street Poetry.

7 YEARS AGO.

Jesse-14

         "Jesse, come on man, it's just E, you'll like it." Max pleaded, sitting on the footstool in what looked like a library. Who the hell do I know with a library? I wasn't too sure, everything I heard about E was pretty bad. But there was some good things..
"All of us have done it man."
"All you?" He nodded. "Who's house we at? I forgot."
"Dave's." I nodded, at least it's safe here. Explains the library. "You'll do it man?"
"I guess."
"Killer. Amanda's here, that lil tramp you got your eyeesss on. Mmm. That ass man." He chuckled, and flew up from the stool. "Do your first line in here, it's the worst and you don't wanna be embarrassed."
"Is Mandy doing any?" Max nods, smiling, dumping chunky yellow, brown crystals out onto a desk. He pulls a bank card out of his back pocket, puts the E in his front, then starts chopping it up. I watch, amazed, I've always waited for this moment. For me to finally have something go up my nose.
"You ready?" I nod, and he hands me a rolled up twenty. I kneel down, close my eyes and inhale, crystals fly up my nose, tickling at first, then stinging. I drop the bill on the desk and back away, head titled backward, sniffing in as hard as I can, one last time. The back of my throat tastes like licorice, and my nose is stinging. It feels great. Soon, something starts sliding down my esophagus, making me want to gag. I start to panic, is this right? Is this supposed to happen? I look up at Max, he's swallowing rapidly, so I assume the same thing is happening to him.
"Here man, have a sip of this." He tosses me a mickey of vodka. I smile and take a huge gulp, now concentrating on the burning from the alcohol which was a relief, from the drips. "And take a piece of this." A piece of gum hits my face and I shove it into my mouth. As soon as I start chewing, the drips are gone.
"Thanks dude."
"No problem, let's go have a smoke, then we'll come back and do our second line." I nod again, following him like a puppy.
"Here." He tosses me a smoke and a lighter.
"Thanks bro." He nods, lighting his own smoke. My hands feel odd, and I'm rubbing my fingers together, the sensation is something new. I realize it's been a good thirty seconds since Max lit his smoke, and I should probably light mine too. I put it into my mouth and flick the lighter, "wait dude!" He blew my flame out and ripped my cigarette out of my mouth. "It was in backwards!" He laughs and puts the smoke back into my hand the right way.
I laugh too, "oh god. Thanks dude."
         We make our way back to the library, things are looking cooler and cooler.
"Time for the second line?"
"Sure!" I like this. This line is thicker than the last, I take this one without hesitation, perfectly fine, every bit flying through my nose. Max does his then tosses me a pack of gum.
"Keep a piece in your mouth. Or you'll fuck your teeth. If you feel like you're gonna puke, don't freak, it's just cause it irritates your stomach, just go outside and puke, and you'll be good again. We're gonna meet in here every forty five minutes for a line, so just come in here, every- Hey!" He slaps my cheeks, "are you listening to me? Every forty five minutes we'll be in here. Got it?"
I nod, not sure how well I'll be able to talk. I can do this every forty five minutes. He hands me half a pack of smokes, pats my shoulder and exits the room. Holy shit. My body feels amazing. I take the lighter out of my pocket and head outside for another cigarette. The lighter feels wack. I flip it over and over in my hand, feeling it, inspecting it. Finally I light my smoke, the smoke rushing down into my lungs feels amazing. Everything feels really fucking amazing. I just want to fuck everything. I wonder where Mandy is.. I finish my smoke, and slide off of my cement seat, sauntering back into the house, there's teenagers everywhere. Mandy's sitting with Max, and Kristy, passing around a joint. She smiles when she sees me. Her eyes are red, she looks fucked up. She says something to Kristy, who nods then latches lips with Max. Mandy hops up and meets me halfway. No hesitation she's in my arms, holding me tight against her. She smells so good, her hair is so shiny.. I just want to touch it. I resist that urge and hold her tighter.
"Are we - are we ever gonna kiss.. or anything like that..?" She asks quietly, peering up at me with her blue, bloodshot eyes, and shiny hair, fingers clenching my shirt. I smile to myself. That made it so much easier. I cup her chin and tilt her head upwards and kiss her. At first slow, get to know each other, then her tongue enters my mouth, and my hand reaches for her ass.
"We should go somewhere else.." I whisper, holding her tighter still.
"I agree." She whispers back, then breaks free of my grip and pulls me upstairs to what I think is Dave's parents' room. Mandy's already on the bed with her top off, staring at me smiling, the best smile I've ever seen. I flip my shoes off across the room, tear my shirt off and fly onto the bed. My lips attach to hers instantly, and my fingers find her flawlessly.
"Fuck me.."

4 YEARS AGO.

17.

          I sit in my science class, tapping my foot waiting for Mr. Joseph to stop talking, set us free for the weekend. The bell was going to ring in less than three minutes and the old man was still going on about electrons or organelles or something like that. I don't have time for this. I start clicking my pen along with my already loud foot tapping. It was clearly getting to him, the vein in the back of his neck started throbbing, and a little bead of sweat slipped down his face. He wiped it away, trying to keep his cool.
"Well, I suppose we'll finish this Monday.." I hurriedly shove my books into my crappy backpack. "But before you go, I'll give you your tests from Wednesday." My test slid onto my desk upside down, not a good sign. Joseph only ever put tests upside down if the grade was bad.

F, are you even trying? apply yourself. you're smarter than this.

I crumple it up and throw it in the bag along with everything else, then sprint out of the room. I can feel his eyes on me the whole way.
I see Mandy waiting at the front doors, I can't bolt now, she's already looked up and seen me. She's wearing my sweater. Me and Mandy aren't dating but we aren't really allowed to see other people. Thinking about our relationship makes me want to throw up, I want her to take off the sweater and end it so bad, but I know that won't happen. When I finally get to her she smiles her smile that could melt anyone's heart, I smile back. Can't look weird. She stands on her tip toes and kisses me. Fuck.
"What're you doing tonight? Wanna come over?" She smiles some more. She's so cute, smells so good.. Why are girls so hard? Why can't I just choose who I want?
"I can't, I'm chilling with the boys. You wanna come with us? We're gonna have a real, good time." Now I'm smiling, holding her by the waist.
"What're you guys doing..?"
"We're gonna do ecstasy. Have you done it before?"
She giggles, "Once.. But I only did one bump cause I was to scared of my parents finding out.."
"Your parents don't have to find out." I whisper into her ear, then snatch her hand and make my way to my car. I guess she'd still be mine for the night.

"Hey boys!" I yell coming through Bmar's front door, Mandy's hand latched to arm, already scared of what was inside.
"Do not, leave me alone with any of these people.." She whispers quietly, tightening her grip. Bmar looks up from the table where he's cutting up weed, the guy next to him is chopping cocaine with a knife. Mandy tenses slightly, but I can tell she's clinging to out relationship, and is trying to make it work. I feel bad, but honestly, I'm hoping she'll just get scared and puss out.
"You wanna smoke a joint right now? Calm you down, then you can have some fun?" I tug at the bottom of her sweater pulling her down the hallway to the bathroom, where we can smoke privately.
"I don't think I have much of a choice," she giggles. Once in the bathroom I flick on the fan an light a pre-rolled joint, I exhale and suck it back in quickly, exhaling again through my nose, Amanda seems amazed by my smoke tricks, she always does, I think she knows I like it. Once we finish the joint we go into the living room with the rest of the rejects. Bmar keeps looking at Mandy, which is making her uncomfortable.
"Man, knock it off." I shove him and we sit down on the couch.
"You gotta beautiful lady." I nod and take a bottle of Captain Morgan's Kevin passes me, I down mine then pass it to Mand, who takes two shots before passing it on.
"Shall we start off with snow, or brown sugar?" Bmar asks the group. Almost everyone says snow, wanting to save the M for the end of the night when everyone wants to fuck. Bmar makes mine and Mandy's huge. I don't have time to think before the tray is in my face and he's demanding I do it. Amanda looks terrified, not that she's about to do cocaine, which she's done, but the size of the line. She can't take it all, and she can't say no, because she's too shy. Why do I want to leave someone I know so well? I go to do mine, and take some of Many's as well without anyone but her noticing, making her line a size she can manage. The look of fear wipes off her face and she takes her line confidently, passing the tray onto the next person.