Tooth Fairy Ninja

         Milly sat at the dinner table with her fist half stuffed into her mouth, wiggling a tooth back and forth.

         "Milly, stop messing with your tooth at the table," her mother said, pointing a sharp finger right at her nose.

         "But--," Milly started to say.

         "No Buts," said Mom. "If you touch it one more time, I will have your father tie a string around it and yank it out like we did with your brother's teeth."

         Milly's eyes got wide at the thought.

         "Do you want us to pull it out?" Mom said, raising her eyebrow.

         "I've got pliers in the garage," Dad said. "We can pull it out right now." He smiled as Milly shrank back in her chair and covered her mouth with both her hands.

         "Just leave it alone, and let it come out when it's ready," said Mom.  "Stop fiddling with it."

         "When it does come out though, you can give it to the Tooth Fairy." said Dad.  "And, she might give you some money for it, IF you are good."

         "Give me money for my tooth?" said Milly.

         "Yep." said Dad. "But, only if you stay asleep and don't peek."

         "But, what would the Tooth Fairy want with a crummy old tooth?" asked Milly.

         "She collects them," said Mom. "It's her job."

          She collects them, thought Milly. Why would anybody want to collect teeth? What would they do with them, make necklaces? Like macaroni art, but with teeth? Milly pictured a Tiny Old Lady with a wool sweater wearing tons of necklaces and bracelets made of teeth.

         "What happens if you peek?" Milly asked.

         "She grabs you with her giant claws and grinds you up with all the teeth she takes," her brother chimed in.

         "Brian William Krupp," said Mom. He was in trouble. You can tell 'cause Mom used all three of his names. "Don't scare her."

         Dad looked at Milly and smiled.  "It's okay sweetie," he said.  "Tooth fairies don't eat people."

         "Yes they do," said Brian.  "It's in movies and stuff. Everybody knows that."  Brian smiled, looking at Milly.

         "Not one more word, Brian," said Mom.  "Or, you will finish dinner in your room."

         "Just because it's in a movie," Dad said, "doesn't mean it's true.  Most movies are made up stories anyway."

         Brian muttered under his breath, "Not all of them..."

         That night Milly went to bed with the light on.  She was sitting up, hugging a pillow, and staring at her feet, watching for claws and stuff.

         Her brother peeked his head in the doorway. "Don't worry," he said.  "The tooth fairy doesn't come until your tooth falls out.  But, then you had better put it under your pillow and keep your eyes shut the WHOLE night.  No peeking."

         Milly couldn't help but wonder what this Tooth Fairy Lady was really like.  Is she a sweet Little Old Lady, or a Creepy Monster with Claws? Or was she both?  Did she start out all sweet, and then turn bad if you peeked?  Or, was that just what she wanted you to think so you would be good and quiet and stuff?  And, what DOES she DO with all those teeth?  The picture of a Teeny Tiny Old Lady with macaroni art Christmas wreaths made out of teeth flashed in Milly's head and she giggled a little.

         Mom and Dad are okay with the Tooth Fairy Lady coming over and taking my tooth.  So, she couldn't be that bad. I mean, she's just gonna take my tooth and leave me money, right? What's so bad about that?  I guess she's like Santa Clause, but for teeth.  Milly pictured a Tiny Fat Old Lady wearing a dentist jacket with that big silver circle on her forehead and little fairy wings. She giggled some more.

          And, who does this Tooth Fairy Lady think she is sneaking around my room while I'm sleeping, and I'm not allowed to look?  If she is only gonna take my tooth, why can't I look? And, what if she takes other stuff?  I really like my stuff. And, I don't want some Tiny Old Lady taking it.   Milly pictured a Tiny Old Lady Ninja all dressed in black wearing a black Ninja mask, and carrying a robber's bag to put all her stuff in.

         And, why is she still working if she's an Old Lady? Has she always been a Tooth Fairy Ninja Robber? Or is this what she does to get out of the house?  Like when Grandma Krupp goes on the big bus with the other Old Ladies? Does this mean that there are a bunch of Old Lady Ninja Robbers that will come in and take  all my stuff and grind me up with all the teeth if I look?

         And, why do they have to use other people's teeth?  What's wrong with theirs?  Is it 'cause they are old and they don't have any more teeth?  Molly remembered that when you get really old, all of your teeth fall out and you have to get new ones to eat with, like Grandpa Joe.  Do they need my tooth to make a new mouth to eat with like Grandpa Joe's?  Now the bus full of Tiny Old Lady Ninja Robbers were toothless.  This made Milly laugh out loud.

         Still, I don't know what's gonna happen when I'm sleeping...

         Milly got up from bed and grabbed a pencil and piece of paper out of her desk. She started writing:

         Dear Tooth Fairy Lady,

         When my tooth falls out, you can take it to make a new mouth to eat with like Grandpa Joe.  Please don't rob my other stuff.  Or, rob Mom and Dad's stuff.  And, prolly not rob Brian's stuff.  'Cause they will be mad.  And, I would not like them to be mad.  Also, please do not grind me up with any teeth.  I will try real hard not to peek.

Thank you very much,

Milly Krupp 

P.S. Good night Tooth Fairy Lady