This was my moment.

“I knew this was my moment.”
Every person has his/her regrets in life- being a failure in career or making a decision that didn't work out right for that person. I wonder how a boy feels when his father brags about him to his friends! Happy? Proud? I guess so! I wonder how the boy feels when his dad states, “I am so proud of my son!” Or “I couldn't have been any prouder of my son!” I can only guess, for I have never had the privilege to enjoy this feeling but have suffered the opposite. I am no different, but my ruefulness associates to different grounds...
When we are nervous, we become vulnerable even to the most insignificant sounds. Sounds we only hear when we want them to sing to us; the heart-beat for instance- we never notice it until we put our desire to listen to it… when we are nervous, we not only listen to our heart but also feel it thumping. I would have never realized it, if it were not today. I guess this is normal, being nervous, when it calls for situations like this. What confuses me is that I simply couldn’t figure out the reason for this nervousness when I have nothing to lose at all! I felt awkward. I looked around; there were six more participants, three on each of mine. It occurred to me that they were tensed too; they too were going through the same phase- nervousness. I felt better when I realized that I wasn't the only one in this. I could hear the crowd cheering. I could hear little girl crying in the distant row of the crowd… My eyes groped around in the crowd, searching. I turned to my left when I heard someone crying for me particularly.

“Hey. Brother, over here!” It was my Samuel, my younger brother. Beside him was my mom! I couldn't have been any happier, my spirit was lifted! Then I spotted the person I wasn't expecting to see among all these people… it was my dad! I looked down, at my feet. I stared at them for some time, I whispered to them, ‘please don’t let me down today, losing isn't an option!’

I turned to my dad again. I immediately closed my eyes after our eyes met and when I closed them, there was just one scene that popped up in front of me. I was standing; facing my dad, my head kneeling down out of shame, disappointment on myself. ‘I had high expectations from you, my son. But you have let me down like always!’ These were the last of dad’s words before I left home five days ago, out of frustration and aggravation. We had a fight about how I failed to take care of the family business. I somehow couldn't make my dad realize that I wasn’t interested in our business; I couldn’t convey to him that I had my own dreams and if I had to make him proud me, I would do it the way I love and the way I would enjoy doing it!I guess mom is the one who convinced him to come over, because I am sure he would have never come. I smiled, as I recollected the memory of my mentor who once said, “Moms are heavenly beings, meant to spread love and be loved”. I left out a heavy breathe and opened my eyes. The reality had kicked back in and I wasn't repenting my past, because at this point, not penitence but focus is the only thing is going to get me through; ‘FOCUS’, I said to myself, “FOCUS”! Today, it isn't about standing up to my dad’s expectations, but standing up for my self-esteem.

“Lord, grant me the strength to change the things that I can and the courage to accept the things that I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference;” one last word of consolation, one last word to inspire the thirst in me to prove and one last word as I attempt to change things and except whatever the outcome is. I looked at the crowd one more time. I looked at my brother who smiled at me, I smiled back at him. I looked at my mom. I realized that she was looking at me too; I was the centre of attention for her. Her tender eyes, as if, were telling me that, ‘you can do it my son, I am sure of that. If anyone can, it’s only you! Don't let anything hold you back.’ I once read: “we’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments,but great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small”- this is one of those moments. I turned to my dad, he bored the looked of anxiety, I couldn't work out why. Then I turned to the man holding the pistol; apparently everyone was gazing at him- the crowd, the participants.

“We all are racing against all odds. We all race to get what we desire the most. We all want to be there...in the finish line. Harmony lies there and trust me, we all want harmony!”- Anonymous! I got the actual meaning of this brilliant quote while I stand here, amidst this crowd with my contemporaries. We all are running for the same goal; getting to that finish line before anyone else and to curve our name on the title- this is what we are aiming for! As Teddy Rossevelt puts it- “The best thing that life offers is to work hard at work worth doing.” At the moment, nothing else seems more worthy than this race; nothing else appears suitable for all the hard work! “On your marks”, our heart violently started pumping blood, as every muscle in our body went taut as the strings of a bow! “Get, Set”, I closed my eyes as I prayed for the best to my Almighty. Nothing else struck my mind but the two caring eyes my mom and the strong desire to win the coveted “Gold Medal” of the Olympics. Nothing else but a rush of feelings- reverence, apprehension, perseverance and most importantly ‘HOPE’… hope to take the trophy home; hope to retain my respect and retrieve my pride that I once lost. “GO”! The pistol went off; and we all were freed, from our misery of waiting! We ran towards the finish line, towards the light. Today, it isn't about proving someone my usefulness, but my capability in what I love and what I do the best; today, this is me and this is my moment!