Geriatric Greetings

“Remember, the first pancake you make will be rubbish,” the old man yelled, as he bid goodbye to his daughter and son-in-law.

His daughter looked back over her shoulder with a pained look on her face. She had suspected the difficult decision was coming, but it was much worse than she feared. It was obvious now, that time for her to consider the options had passed, there were few if any choices left to make.

“He’s lost his marbles Sofie! The old coot doesn’t even know what day it is,” her Husband sniggered. “You have power of attorney, you know what to do.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, “He’s my father, EDWARD! He’s doing okay.” But there was no conviction in her voice.

Edward shrugged, “I mean, he put the kitchen clock in the fridge so he knows what time to eat! And I don’t even want to know what happened to his pet bird, or why he thinks parrots taste nothing like Koalas. I can’t believe you didn’t take the keys to his car.”

“He stopped driving ages ago,” Sophie insisted.

Edward raised his eyebrows. “Really?” He paused, but Sophie wouldn’t answer. “Stopped ages ago huh? Yeah and he stopped making any sense ages ago. In fact, I’m not sure he ever made sense.

Sophie just glared at her husband as they climbed into her car.

Once the doors were shut, Edward continued his tirade. “So how can you be sure he isn’t going to be one of those blind bats that end up as an opening story on channel 1, ‘Old coot drives his car through a brick wall… Police believe he may have been under the influence of dementure.’ Man I can see it now, your unsteady father being guided away from some poor sod’s wrecked house by a burly Police Officer.”

“Very funny Edward. Like you can talk, you’ve had more car accidents than my father and you’re only half his age?”

“I am not 70 years old!” Edward joked. “How about I build the old fossil a nice pine box and we’ll send him on his way. Maybe we can spend some of that inheritance on a well deserved trip to the Bahama’s! Shall I get some brochures?”

“Sure,” Sophie replied, giving him a seductive pout. “Maybe you can pickup some divorce forms at the same time. Once I’ve got my inheritance, I can retire a lot earlier if I unload all my excess baggage.”