In Love With The Wrong Guy Chapter 2

         I didn’t see Alexander and Winnie come back inside the room until the class started. Everyone had just settled in, and the teacher had arrived. My mind was full of questions. I didn’t know if I was just confused or actually jealous about them. I didn’t even know why I felt like that. What was it with Alexander? Why was he such an impact to me when everyone else didn’t seem so important? My confusions left me unfocused with the class.

         “Rise and shine, children!” the jolly teacher of SexEd, Mrs. Cornett, exclaimed with excitement again. She just wouldn’t admit that she wanted to have sex. I could see that all over her face. “It’s time for sex education!”

         She started talking stuff about our activities for that day as I turned my neck around and tried to see Alexander; I saw him. He was in the back seats with Winnie and the others. I was pretty sure he was talking to her and not paying attention to Mrs. Cornett. They were laughing, having a good time. I was never that close to someone I’ve just met. I thought I’d do the same so I wouldn’t seem like a total loser to them, yet that would be so naïve. I just tried my best to pay attention to the class.

         “Okay!” Mrs. Cornett seemed to have finished discussing the activities for today. I didn’t even hear what she said. “Grab a partner, and let’s pick up your offspring upstairs!”

         I didn’t understand what she meant by ‘offspring’. That was because I didn’t listen. Everyone stood up and took their stuff, so I did the same. I turned to see Alexander again, but she was with Winnie as they talked to a bunch of other people in class. I guess they were asking what Mrs. Cornett had told us. And I’m alarmingly surprised with the number of people Alexander has made friends with for his first day.

         The other students started walking out of the room. I looked as they walked out of the room. I still didn’t know what to do.

         “Hey!” I called the guy who sat next to me. I didn’t know his name; I just needed to know what the heck Mrs. Cornett wanted us to do. I got the guy’s attention as he stopped walking.

         “Yeah?” he made sure to himself that he was the one I was calling.

         “Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” I tried to make a joke out of it. Somehow, I wanted Alexander and Winnie to see that I can perfectly make friends on my own. “Can you explain to me what Mrs. Cornett wanted us to do?”

         “Oh!” he chuckled. “She assigned us a project to take care of a baby doll up to next week. The baby doll probably has weird shit to it.”

         “Oh.” Of course, I wanted to thank him. I reached out my hand to him. “Thanks! I’m Liyah Loveworth, by the way.”

         “I’m Steve Jobbs.” He shook my hand. “And I know you’re Liyah.”

         “Really?” I asked. Was I popular? “Why’s that?”

         “You’re the girl who beat up that bully a few years ago.” He stated. Oh my God, was I famous because of that? I felt proud and ashamed at the same time.

         “Yeah.”

         “Some guys have been quite avoiding you. They fear you in a way.”

         “Really?” I chuckled. My reputation didn’t seem to have vanished over the years. “I’m not that much of a lunatic anymore.”

         “Yeah. I can tell.” He smiled. “I didn’t actually expect you to be nice. I thought you’d be like hateful all the time. But now you just seem like a girl with a huge sense of justice.”

         “That’s weird.” I laughed. “But thanks.”

         “Sure.” He said. “Are you coming up?”

         “Okay.” I chuckled. I tried my best to seem entertained especially because I didn’t want him to change his opinion of me. “But I haven’t got a partner yet, so I was wondering.”

         “You know, I haven’t got a partner myself.” He said. I actually liked Steve –I mean as a friend. He’s like Nick but so much lesser appeal than Alexander. “You want to work together?”

         “I’d be delighted to.” I chuckled. “I just thought someone like you would have girls to back you up.”

         “Well, my girlfriend didn’t take this course, so no.”

         “Oh.” So, he has a girlfriend. Well, I thought I wouldn’t mind unless his girlfriend’s a psycho that would kill me for raising a baby doll with her boyfriend. “I hope she’s fine that we made a baby of plastic.”

         “Yeah.” He laughed. I got social points for having humor! “Come on. Let’s go up.”

         I just followed Steve upstairs. For the first time, I actually made friends with a guy. Alexander and Winnie were out of my sight already. They probably had each other as partners and went upstairs already. Steve and I went up with the other pairs. I kept quiet. My hands were twitching. I thought I got rid of Winnie and Alexander from my thoughts, but it just went worse when I was filled with silence. They became a bother to me until we got to the SexEd department. There were doll babies in sky blue towels. They were placed on top of the tables.

         “Oh God.” I reacted. I really wasn’t a big fan of babies. I was no good at baby care. Well, they were just dolls but still babies.

         “They’re a crazy bunch.” Steve who stood beside laughed. I felt a bit serious and bipolar.

         “I gotta tell you something. I hate babies.”

         “Really?” he chuckled. “Then, this is gonna be a long journey.”

         I turned to see Alexander and Winnie. They picked up theirs along with the other pairs. So, they really were partners, and Winnie got him to work with her on that essay. Alexander held the doll around his arm like it was real to him. Winnie laughed with him and did her mini-claps again. The baby doll made a crying noise. So, there was a radio thingy inside the doll. Mrs Cornett walked to Winnie and gave her a baby’s bottle, most likely to be a fake like the baby. Winnie put the tip of the bottle in the baby’s mouth. Soon enough, the baby doll stopped crying.

         “Yay!” Winnie cheered, and Alexander laughed. I never noticed the other pairs, but Winnie and Alexander were really trending in my mind. My feelings started to burst again. I wanted to prove something. I wanted them to see what I could do without them. I wanted them to feel jealous, yet I was the one feeling jealous.

         “Liyah.” Steve had been calling my attention for several times before I noticed.

         “I’m sorry. What?” I faced back to Steve. He was carrying our baby doll project. He was soothing and gently swinging the doll.

         “How do I look?” He winked at me.

         “Like a young guy who has a kid because he had early sex.” I tried to be honest with humor.

         “Right.” He chuckled. “It’s good that he ain’t crying.”

         “It’s a guy?” I asked for the doll’s gender.

         “Yeah. He had a plastic penis.” He kidded, and I laughed. I had my eyes rolling to Winnie and Alexander. I wanted them to see me laugh. It sounded naïve, but –yeah- it is naïve.

         “Has everyone got a doll?” Mrs. Cornett asked us all. No one answered, so she implied that we all had our own.

         “All right!” she continued. “The condition of that doll by next week will compose 75 percent of your grade for this semester, so work hard on them!”

         All of us went silent for a moment, waiting for the teacher to add more details. But she didn’t. We were silenced until Alexander talked.

         “Class dismissed.” Alexander kidded. Then, everyone laughed. I got to admit that was kinda’ funny especially because he was a new student. It seemed like Alexander already was friends with almost everyone in class.

         “Yes, Mr. Johnson.” Mrs. Cornett continued smiling. Alexander just smiled at her, and they seemed to be getting along. “You’re all dismissed!”

         Everyone cheered and hurried out, even Steve. Steve walked out the department with our baby doll, but I didn’t follow. I didn’t care. I was just staring at Alexander and Winnie as they were walking out. I seemed to be the only one not on the way out. I was stunned. Winnie and Alexander were passing by me to exit the room. They were walking together. I was looking at Alexander as they were walking. He saw me looking at him and smiled. That made me smile, too. I guessed Winnie was not that special. Maybe Alexander was just nice to everyone, and that got me to smile. Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe I can still do this.

         “Liyah!” I was daydreaming too long that I heard Steve calling me outside.

         “Yeah?” I turned to see him at the hall.

         “Come on! We haven’t talked about this doll!”

         “Okay.” I laughed. I was suddenly in a good mood again. I slid my shoes until I got to Steve.

         I didn’t care what happened anymore. I was giggling. I was filled with hope and motivation. I was sure I can get close to Alexander anytime, and I was not about to lose to Winnie.



         Steve noticed I came out with a sudden smile in my face, big enough for him to think I was bipolar. He waited for me in the hall, and I came there, walking carefree. I didn’t begin to notice Steve was observing me as he held our doll baby around his arms.

         “Are you okay?” he asked due to my sudden change of mood.

         “What?” I paid my attention back to Steve as Alexander had walked away out from my sight. “I beg your pardon.”

         “What are you so struck about?” he chuckled. Well, I wouldn’t blame him. Alexander did strike my mind with just a smile.

         “Me? I’m struck?” I denied in a good vibe. “I’m not.”

         Steve nodded and smiled, like he figured something out. That wasn’t reassuring for me.

         “So, how are we gonna distribute the work?” I went back on track with him.

         “Well, that’s going to be tricky.” He said. “I’ve got afternoon shifts. I’m a cashier and in-room dining order taker.”

         “Oh.” I reacted. Somehow, I could relate to him. I used to work at a diner, too. It’s a good thing that my father sends us money even when he left me and mom for his other family. I refused to take his money, but mom insisted, and I wanted to help out mom as much as possible. “So, you’re not gonna be free on afternoons?”

         “Hardly ever free. My girlfriend and I rarely date, like twice in a month. She’s working, too.”

         “What a hassle.” I commented. Of course, I didn’t want to put any pressure on Steve since he’s a really nice guy. “I could take care of it. I mean, I have all the free time I need. I even get bored sometimes.”

         “No. I don’t want to do it like that.” He rejected my generous offer. Well, it was his choice. “I want to help out, too, you know.”

         “That’s nice, but it’s really okay with me.” I insisted. Like I’ve said, I was a feminist. “I can cover it on my own.”

         “Are you sure?” After what I said, he looked like he was about to accept my offer. It seemed liked I forgot how I sucked at taking care of babies, but I was sure I would prefer to do it with no help. After all, I was not good with talking to guys even though I would seem like a lesbian.

         “I won’t be needing your help. I’ll be fine on my own.” I said that in a nice way so it won’t seem like I’m boasting. He seemed to have taken no offense, but he did look at me like I was weird. Well, maybe I was.

         “Are you some kind of feminist or something?” Well, he figured it out. Not that I cared, but I still wanted to make friends somehow.

         “A bit.” I nodded. “I refuse to get help especially from guys.”

         “That’s cool.” He chuckled. “I mean, I appreciate what you’re doing. With that, I won’t have to be stressed with all the work and projects. I mean, it’s just the start of the school year, and I’m dying already.”

         “Have you actually calculated how much longer you’re going to work, like have you thought of how longer are you still gonna work?”

         “Yes.” He said with an assuring smile. “I would have earned enough money by January. I’m trying to get in Stanford.”

         “Same here, but I’ve raised enough money before last summer.”

         “Luck you.”

         “Yeah.” I tried to make a joke about it, but all that came was the silence. It seemed like we had nothing more to talk about. He obviously wanted to leave. He barely had free time, as he claimed. When it took long enough, it was good Steve shoved some words out of his mouth.

         “So, I’ll be seeing you next week?” he concluded.

         “I’ll see you ‘til then.” I said. Not that I wanted him gone, I just wanted some time with my thoughts.

         “Alright.”

         He handed me the baby doll. I tried to hold it like he did, but I wasn’t sure if I was gentle. As soon as I got a grip of it, it started making a crying noise. It bugged both Steve and me, but we just laughed about it.

         “Oh my God.” I laughed with him. “How do you do it?”

         “I don’t know. Try this bottle.” He handed me the baby bottle.

         “Wait. I’ll try.” I laid the doll on one arm and used my other arm to put the baby bottle into the mouth of the doll. I tried shaking it while I did, and it stopped making the cry noise a few moments after. Well, basically I was awesome. “I did it!”

         “Nice.” Steve chuckled.

         “Okay.” I sighed. “I guess I can take over from here.”

         “Okay.” He started walking back. I wasn’t planning on leaving until he did. Then, he walked away. “See ‘ya.”

         “Adios.”

         I watched Steve walk away and turn to another hallway. I felt like I was rooted to the floor. I wouldn’t move. I thought how great that project would be if Alexander was my partner. Winnie was so lucky. And did she even realize that? My imaginations flew. I thought of having that baby doll as a sex result of me and Alexander, but I stopped thinking like that. I thought I should have respected him more. My eyes were glues to the baby doll when I heard my phone ring. I realized I had too many shit on my hands, so I placed the baby bottle on the floor and reached my pocket for my phone.

         “Hello?” I answered.

         “Liyah.” It was Nick who called again.

         “Oh! Hey, Nick!” I wanted to come up with a way to drive him away, but I couldn’t figure anything out. “What’s up?”

         “Hey. Are you having lunch with us?”

         “Wait.” I pulled my phone away from my mouth for a moment and had thoughts. I tried to think of anything to decline him, but I couldn’t. I could have said that I still had a baby doll to attend to, but I just thought doing that would be so boring. And –hey- either way is boring. “Sure. I’m coming out there.”

         “Okay.” He said with an excited tone.

         I hung up right after. I thought of hiding the baby in my locker for the rest of the day, but I didn’t know what the hell that thing could have done. I just thought of bringing it along at lunch, so I did. I went on my way to the cafeteria outside, and I was sure I was not holding the baby right; I held it around my arms and pushed against my breast.  I didn’t know if the guys I walked past were jealous of the doll or disgusted, but they were staring. I got to the cafeteria and found Nick, seated on the table. Nick saw me and smiled. He told me he was with Laura or at least some other people. He asked if I was going to join them, and I assumed he and I wouldn’t be alone. I didn’t want to be in any date situation with Nick especially in public.

         “What are you doing?” I sounded a bit mad. Nick looked a little startled with my reaction.

         “What is?”

         “I thought you were with Laura or someone.”

         “What do you mean?” he clearly didn’t have an idea what I was talking about.

         “You said ‘Are you having lunch with us?’. And I assumed that there will be someone else here! You know how I feel about that!” I should have watched my words. I ended up hurting his feelings. Girls shouldn’t do that to their friends.

         “I’m sorry. I just thought Laura was joining us.” Nick sounded like a beggar.

         “Oh.” I was silenced. I judged Nick a little too fast. I sat down, concerned with what he felt about my sudden outburst. I placed the baby doll with my stuff on the table. “I’m sorry. I just thought you’re doing that again.”

         What I meant by ‘doing that again’ is that Nick is trying to get me like him. It means he’s trying to get back with me. I haven’t told him that I could never have felt anything for him because it would definitely hurt him, and I won’t do that because I’m his friend, but it became really annoying when he won’t stop.

         “I’m sorry, too.” He said. I felt sorry for him again’ I always did. It was like I was this punishment to him when he never did anything wrong. “I shouldn’t have gotten you imply that. I shouldn’t have gotten us alone. I know you don’t want me to try anymore.”

         “Nick.” I wanted to change his mind. But would that make things true? I thought not. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. I don’t want you to be hurt. You’re one of my best friends.”

         He gazed at my eyes for seconds. I couldn’t look straight. I felt guilty for so many reasons. Did he feel that he was friend-zoned? I didn’t know if I would be satisfied or doubtful if he did. I couldn’t say anything. I just thought I wished it was Alexander gazing at me like that. I wanted to tell Nick, but that would really hurt him.

         “Don’t look at me like that. Say something.” I begged.

         “I’m sorry.” He said. “I don’t always want to talk drama with you.”

         “I’m tired of drama, too.” I nodded. “How about we save the serious crap for later?”

         “It depends on how long I can wait.” Nick kidded. It seemed like the serious atmosphere had gone away.

         “Stop that.” We shared a chuckle. “You sound gay.”

         “And you sound like a lesbian.”

         “Hey!” I joked about being intimidated. “I thought we were having lunch, not afternoon tearjerkers.”

         “Yeah.” He laughed. “Let’s just get something to eat.”

         I didn’t know what I wanted Nick to feel. He was obviously trying to win me back, but I wouldn’t let him. I’ve pushed him away, and I didn’t want to do that any further. But why did I feel like doing that whenever I saw Alexander? Why did I feel like I wanted to drive Nick out of my life the moment I saw Alexander? Was I that selfish? All these feelings I was confused me was surely driving me crazy.



         Nick and I went on line for food, without any tray. Nick –of course- let me lead in line. He was trying to be a gentleman, but either way works for me. Nick and I got the usual: apple, banana, and strawberry juice. Fruits worked for us well. Nick and I got back to the table. I forgot that I actually left my stiff and the doll on the table. It was good that no one took it. Everyone just seemed to have no time to eat, skating and running around the campus.

         “You left your stuff.” Nick reminded me as we sat.

         “Yeah. I can see that.”

         “Sorry.” He chuckled. We both took bites from our apples.

         “So, what’s with this baby doll?” Nick pointed the doll.

         “That’s our SexEd project.” I replied. “We’re supposed to take care of that brat.”

         “I thought there are supposed to be fathers in that kind of project.”

         “Yeah. There is.” I nodded. “But he ain’t helping. He said he was too busy.”

         “It’s not that he won’t help. It’s that you won’t let him help you.” Well, Nick actually knew me better than Laura- probably better than mom, too.

         “Only because I was concerned with the guy. I mean, he’s pressured with work.”

         “No. You aren’t.” He started laughing. I didn’t know why, but that got me laughing, too. Well, I was already in a good mood before I went to lunch.

         “Okay. What’s the problem with that?”

         “You know, there’s nothing wrong with asking help from time to time.” Nick added. “You’ll eventually need help when you get to that point where you can’t rely on yourself.”

         “Okay. I got it.” My smile dropped not because I was mad or anything. Nick and I went silent for a while and ate instead. He was clearly observing me. I mean, he seemed to be waiting for me to talk. But before I did, he went first.

         “So, do you need help with that?” Nick asked like he didn’t know me at all. Or did he ask because he knew me and wanted to go totally against my will. There was a smirk on his face, and I realized he was up to something.

         “Nick.” I said. I didn’t know what to say next. It just came out. “I told you-”

         “I don’t want any help from any guy?” He continued my sentence. Well, it was close to what I was about to say.

         “Well, yeah.” I insisted. “What’s wrong with that?”

         “What if someone wants to help you?”

         “What?” I suddenly didn’t understand what he was talking about. “What does that even mean?”

         “I mean, what if someone draws happiness from helping you?”

         “That’s nonsense.” I took a bit and munched. “Everyone who helps just wants something in return.”

         “Well, I don’t.” he stated. I didn’t know if it was true. He could have just wanted to help me every time because he wants to be favored. But I couldn’t judge him.

         “Okay. What do you want?”

         “I want to help you out.” Nick smiled, doing his charm smile again. He used to do that every time when we were still together, but he stopped because I told him to. “Come on.”

         “I already accepted your help yesterday, and I really appreciate that, but I just can’t let you do me favors all the time.”

         “All the time? Yesterday was actually the first time you accepted my help.”

         “And you asked me like over a thousand times we’ve met.”

         “Those don’t count.” He laughed. I smiled back and just continued with my apple. Suddenly, he remembered something embarrassing. “Actually, you’ve asked me for a favor before.”

         “Really? What’s that?” I asked. I was sure I wasn’t gonna like remembering what he was about to say.

         “You remember when we had sex on your mom’s bed?” he laughed. My stomach suddenly crumbled, and I felt like I was blushing. “You asked me to pull out, and I did. That counts!”

         “Oh my God.” I face-palmed and laughed. “That’s really annoying.”

         “I’m sorry. I was just kidding.” We laughed. Nick really wasn’t that bad. I mean, he was entertaining and all, but there was something missing. There was something with Alexander that I couldn’t find in Nick, and I had no idea what that was.

         In the end, I agreed that he would help. With all that baby-rushing madness, I realized I might need a little hand. The only problem is that it was Nick. It always got awkward with him whenever we were alone. I didn’t know if it was just me or he always tried to seduce me in ways that I’d laugh about it. Anyway, he got me to get him to work with me for the rest of the day.

         Since we saw a memo that our Math teacher was not around, we planned to go to my house to plan on that baby doll project. Of course, I had to ask Laura to tag along, but she still had remaining classes, so she just said she would catch up. I drove Nick all the way to my mom’s apartment. Mom was not home; she probably went to work through dad’s car. Geez, that guy had like three cars of his own. That doesn’t even include his new wife’s.

         Anyway, Nick was a bit quiet since I drove us back. I thought it was because he thought it was a bit awkward. Well, it was. We got to the apartment about 1:30 PM. Nick carried the baby doll all the way. Maybe he was imagining it to be our baby or whatever. We just settled in the living room. Nick sat on the couch with the doll, and I headed for my room to change.

         “I’ll be out in a minute.” I said.

         “Okay.” Nick sounded a bit softened. I didn’t know what’s up. But when I got out after changing my clothes to something a little less tight, I found Nick singing the doll a song.

         “Exactly what are you doing?” I laughed.

         “Oh. I’m trying to see if it reacts to sounds.” Nick chuckled. I walked to Nick and took the doll.

         “Maybe it doesn’t.” I held the doll around my arms and swung it gently. “I don’t really think it does anything.”

         “It just stares at you like those creepy chucky dolls that will terrify you on your sleep. It will get your kitchen knife at night and stab us all.” Nick kidded, and I found that a bit funny myself. I never really was sensitive to gore stories or whatever.

         “Well, it does kinda’ look creepy.” I said, and Nick chuckled. When I realized it actually didn’t react to anything but the baby bottle, I sat beside Nick and sighed. I thought maybe that project wasn’t really that horrifying after all.

         “So, uh.” Nick hummed. He was probably trying to think of something to say. “Winnie invited me to her party this Saturday.”

         “Yeah. She invited me, too.” I suddenly thought of what Harvey, Samuel, and Jason talked about. I felt like I needed an answer.

         “Yeah. She told me that. She actually wanted me to come so you can have people to talk to during the party.”

         “Really? She thinks I’m that anti-social? I actually told her I’ll be bringing Laura.” Well, I admit I was anti-social. I actually just talked to Steve because I needed a partner. Other than that, I needed him gone to leave me alone.

         “I guess so.” He said. “But I don’t think of you like that.”

         “It’s okay. It’s true.” I never really was the one first to talk. I always wanted to push strangers away, but they were always the ones to let me in. Nick was silenced. Maybe he agreed with what Winnie thought about me. “I’m always comfortable on my own.”

         “It doesn’t always have to be like that.” He continued. “You’re gonna need to be with someone someday.”

         “Yeah.” I said, but I wasn’t referring to Nick. I thought I might need someone someday, and all that came to me was Alexander. I didn’t know why I was so bugged by that guy.

         “Probably someone.”

         “Well, about Winnie.” I continued after a brief pause. I also didn’t want to talk about that ‘being with someone someday’ thingy. “Is she involved with Harvey, Jason, and Samuel?”

         “Harvey, Jason, and Samuel? The three idiots?” Well, Nick used to call them three idiots- nothing personal, just for humor. It obviously took a while for Nick to answer my question; he had to think. “I didn’t really know that they even know each other.”

         “That’s what I thought, too.” Was it really intriguing, or was I just over reacting?

         “Why? What’s up with them?”

         “It’s nothing. Nevermind it.”

         The rest of the day wasn’t interesting. Nick helped me settle in the house until Laura got there, and the three of us played poker- obviously with no bets. The baby cried for like three times every hour, but Nick always got it. In the end, Nick asked to take the doll project with him for the night. Of course, I refused, but he insisted. I guess Laura thought Nick and I were getting back together with all the closeness. My mom got to the apartment thirty minutes after Nick and Laura left. I thought I’d help mom make dinner after she just got groceries.

         With all the silence and Winnie thoughts that lingered in my mind, I thought about talking to mom while I helped her cook. I thought I’d talk about dad though I hated everything about him. But I just wanted to know how to know when you feel like you’re in love because Alexander was popping in my mind every now and then, and I just couldn’t help but smile for no reason.