Where's the Motivation?

This morning I realized that there's a bowling ball in my stomach. It's pushing on every intestine and it's killing me, I literally want nothing to do with anything, the discomfort is unbearable. I've had two cups of coffee and haven't done anything on the fitness schedule boyfriend and I set up last night. I can't decide if I want to clean the apartment up first, or if I should just get up and go! It's a lack of motivation, I think. Stalling, putting it off. The longer I wait the hotter it will get, and southwest sunshine is unfriendly to the noontime jogger. I have this rearing head-cold on top of the stomach dilemma and I wish I was sleepy enough to fall back asleep.

According to unwritten-blogging-rule, I assume that first post insists on an introduction. My biography says a lot about me, but let's open up to my current state in life. I just turned 19, I'm 6 months deep in a relationship that has turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me. His name is boyfriend for all intensive purposes, and we have been living together for a tad over 2 months. It's incredible. He's my "God damn U.S soldier". I love him, I moved an hour away from my family/friends to be closer to him and I haven't had a single regret. Aside from my disgustingly loving relationship, I have a lot of emotions on my plate. Don't get me wrong, I have such an amazing life and I could not be more thankful, but it's hard to make it out in the real world when you're a 19 year old girl, in college, barely employed pursuing a career in arts/history. I have serious health and weight issues (big surprise teenage girl in western-culture). So I plan on using this blog to just, vent maybe. Share tips and secrets and give everyone an insight into what I know, what I have no clue about, and what I think we should all concern ourselves with.

Back to motivation. For me personally, I can always muster-up enough motivation to get through my daily workout by thinking of the future. You see, boyfriend gets out of the military in December, and we're running away together. We have a beautiful city lined up, we've been taking the initiative to get enrolled/transferred in school, and I couldn't be more excited. His plan, to just push through the next five months and then focus on health and wellness, while my motivation is the move itself. I want to be in the best shape when we make the transition to really start our life together. So maybe that's the wrong way to look at it, as boyfriend likes to say (fitness isn't a destination Taylor it's a journey) blah blah blah, I feel that once I have reached my goal I will be much more likely to stay fit, keep up the good work. And giving myself a deadline isn't going to hurt, it'll make me get shit done! And anyone can do this, you've got a dress you need to look good in, Halloween, birthday, job interview, anything really! So no, I'm putting the coffee down slipping on my running shoes and sports bra (and other running attire, naturally) and blowing through this workout! I'm outy-5,000. Here's the plan..

All Week, Every Day:
-Two laps around the apartment complex (to start out with)
-Run up and down the stairs 20 times.
{-40 push-ups
{-100 crunches
{-50 squats.
{must be done within an hour}

*Will be upped with progress.*

SIDE NOTE: Don't make "weight loss" the goal. Don't even weigh yourself. Between you and me, I've lost 30lbs in the past three years. When I was 16 I was diagnosed with an (undisclosed) eating disorder. bad body image, I was so young! Barely blooming into the beautiful woman I was to become. But I let society and unrealistic and admired body-types set the record for me. I lost my lovely lady hips, I'm more flat chested than a 13 year old boy, and I'm not any closer to being happy with my body. That's why this health and wellness journey is so important to me. Health is crucial, proper diet is mandatory for happiness, but my weight is insignificant. Love yourselves ladies, because in the end, confidence is key, confidence is sexy as hell.