A Brand New Day

A Brand New World
by Inordinate Allen

         “You don’t have to do this.  Think about the people you’d leave behind.  You’re family, your wife; she’s hurting just as much as you and she needs you to be strong for her.”
         Jared had only two years of experience in suicide prevention, and in two years he had gained a reputation.  His statistics were well above anyone else, and there was a reason for that.  He could hear it in their voices.  If he could get them to tell him where they were, then he could see it in their eyes.  There was a moment, one delicate moment, where they were on the precipice.  If handled just right, then that was the best time to turn them back.  If it took too long, though, then they were gone forever.  Ideally it would never get that far.
         This man, Richard Martin, had just lost his seventeen year old daughter in a car crash.  The car crash was the day after the funeral for his ten year old son.  If cancer is like an ever-growing weight on a parent’s chest, getting heavier and heavier every day for two years, then getting drunk to deal with the loss and wrapping your car around a tree is like a sledge hammer straight to the heart.
         Richard was nearly at that point.  It was the point just before making up your mind to follow through or to go home.  He was sitting on a ledge, in the wind, with a one-hundred foot drop ending with a sudden stop on the concrete.
         “Richard…”  He could barely speak.  As always, Jared felt for the man.
         Jared cleared his throat.  “Richard, the world is one screwed up place.  I want you to know something about me.  It’s something I don’t want you to ever tell anyone.  Can you keep a secret?”
         Richard said nothing, but he did look over at Jared sitting fifteen feet away, on the ledge.  It was a little too soon to laugh, but the joke was not lost on him.  ‘Dead men tell no secrets,’ but even the thought of laughter felt like ashes in his mouth.
         “There is not a day that goes by that I don’t want to jump.”
         At first, Richard didn’t seem to hear him.  Slowly, though, his words sank in and he looked up a little more at Jared.
         “I have the building picked out.  Its two blocks that way,” Jared pointed behind them, “but this one would do nicely.  It’s the cement at the bottom that I like.  You don’t want to hit a pile of dirt and live on machines forever.”
         Richard was looking a little closer.
         “You know why?”  Jared asked.
         After a moment, Richard gave a brief, almost imperceptible shake of his head.
         “I don’t have a good reason.  My family is all alive.  I’ve never had disaster strike.  I wasn’t abused, an orphan, or a choir boy.”
         This time Richard gave a slight snicker at the choir boy comment, but it was short-lived.
         “In fact, for the most part my whole family has been somewhat fortunate.  If I ever did it, if I ever dared, though, I know what it would do to them.  What do you think it would do to my family if I died, Richard?  Why shouldn’t we just hold hands and go together?  I want to, you know.”
         Richard looked up, “Its not the same.”
         “I know that, Richard, but in some ways it is.  Do you love your wife?”
         A nod.
         “Do you love your kids?”
         A brief flash of anger, but it died down quickly.  Slowly, another nod.
         “Well, there’s one thing I know that those kids wouldn’t want, and it’s something you don’t want either.  Neither do I.  Do you know why your wife is not up here with us?  It’s because when I asked her about you, I could see it in her eyes.  She wants to be right on this ledge, too.  The only thing that’s keeping her grounded right now is you.”
         Richard was starting to look anxious.
         “If she loses you, then I’ll be up here with her next.  My one bargaining chip with her would be gone.  The one person I could remind her to live for would be gone.  I know it, because I saw it.  It was in her eyes, her face, in the way she looked at the top of the building.  Do you want that?”
         Richard choked out a quiet, “No.”
         Right before his eyes, Jared saw it.  That one moment, where time seemed to stop and he could read like a book how to help.  This entire time, Richard had stared off into space, had been barely responsive, and looked with dry eyes out into nothing.
         “Richard, I can make it better but I need you to do something for me.  It’s very important, but I need you to promise me.  Richard, trust me.”
         There was no response.  Richard was looking into the distance at nothing again.  He was losing him.
         “Richard!”
         Richard gave a slight jump.
         “Richard, I need you to focus.  Repeat after me.”
         Richard just stared.
         “Richard, you have to do this.  Repeat after me.  Boobear,” that was his wife’s pet name, “I love you.”
         Richard stared.
         “Richard!  Say it!  ‘Boobear, I love you!”
         Ever so slowly, “Boo… ahem!  Boobear, I love you.”
         “And I will NEVER leave you.”
         “And I won’t leave you.”
         “More, Richard, say it louder!”
         “I love you, I won’t leave you!”
         Jared could see it wasn’t over yet.
         “Children, it’s time to say goodbye.”
         “No…” Richard looked around anxiously at everything and nothing.  “I can’t say that!”  He put his hands down on the ledge…
         “RICHARD!  You have to say it.  Say it for your wife!  Tell them goodbye!”
         “I can’t do it.  I can’t do what you ask…”
         A tear began to run down Richard’s face, and Jared knew it was done.
         As Richard lay on his side and began to sob, Jared came over to keep him from accidentally falling off.  He held him for nearly twenty minutes before slowly guiding him away from the ledge.