The Monster I Have Become

Sometimes I'm just too scared to sleep,
terrified of the eyes watching from the deep,
I often question my own sanity,
as i desperately push away from reality,
and time and time again, after I've hurled,
I just lie there thinking "Fuck the world",
my sick, twisted, mind drives me 'round the bend,
but then I saw how quick it can end,
and nothing even looks the same anymore,
nothing like how it looked before,
before the drugs, the puff and powder,
it used to be each line would make it louder,
but now it just turns everything dark,
and leaves me feeling hollow, in a park,
I'm cold, dark and empty inside,
as if a chunk, a piece of me, died,
so now my head is like a sieve,
and I'm losing the will to live,
forget my parachute, jump out the plane,
hope I die on impact, but I wouldn't mind the pain,
drugs affected my physical and mental health,
now I'm a danger to others and myself,
maybe one day I'll smoke some crack and fly,
spin out, fall from the sky and just die.