Tearing At My Brains Again

-Tearing At My Brains Again-
by
Keaton Foster



On the floor
At my feet
Devoid of confinement
Absent of resentment
Life giving sustenance
Replaced with enduring freedom
From every functioning idea
Automatic processes are for a time
Subjugated to manual control
Twisting and turning
Plotting and planning
I have a hand in it all
Influencing everything
Even the most basic functions
I am tearing at my brains again
Removing pieces
Digging deeper within the recesses
Exploring every inch of darkness
Poking and prodding
If need be, ramrodding
Whatever it will take
I am dismantling who I am
Spreading the pieces wide and thin
Covering as much area as I can
Like a plum, the outside is quite soft
Sweet, nubile and delicious
The inside is not so succulent
The core is bitter, rough, and indigestible
Such a brain, cannot be a waste
It is a relentless whore of life
I wish I could say the same
About every other part of myself
Unshakable ideas stand guard
They won’t leave me alone
Like a mad dog barking while being
Chased up a tree by a creature
Of epidemically more proportion
They will consume all purpose
They will destroy all meaning
Unquantifiable fear fills my chest
As insatiable rage floods my veins
I take it out on anyone close
And most times no one is close but me
Such self-deprecating behavior serves
To further align me with a fate
That I know has always been mine
I am tearing at my brains again
Removing pieces and places
Ripping out feelings and faces
Leaving only certain truth
Via an unrelenting darkness…


Tearing At My Brains Again
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013