The Trifin Fool Awards

THE TRIFLIN FOOL AWARDS

By

Blanton P. Hardy


Good Evening and welcome to the 1st annual Triflin Fool awards. Brought to you by The Grillin Palace. Whatever you want grills on from teeth to private body parts, we got you covered, and by Just Booty Jeans, where it ain't right unless the pants are airtight.

We have a spectacular lineup for you this evening. With guest appearances from Tyrell "Shackmouh" Jackon, Brother Broth, and musical and guest appearances, by Dat fool crazy, The it's over now gang, But let's get on with the first award.

Our first award is for the most frontin male. This award is given to the male who has recently made the most effort in putting up a front or fake in anyway possible. The nominees for the most frontin male are. James Taylor for frontin his ride that wasn't his. "Say baby this is my new Maybach Benz, wanna ride?" Randy Brooks for frontin for claiming to know certain celebrites "Yeah man Westley was over at my house last night man. We were talkin about his case and how messed up it was, hold on I gotta call baby, Hey Denzel!!! What's up man?!? Yo man I loved you in American Gangstas man!!! Off the chain baby!!!" Quinton Lester for pretending to have dough even though all his bank account has $1.00 in it and all his credit cards have been declined. "Yeah baby, you want that necklace, fall back just breathe easy for a minute, hold up. Here you go my good man. American Express. Ha, ha. Never leave home without it. Declined? Man what you mean declined? Hey man what you doin to my card man?"

And the award goes to...Randy Brooks ladies and gentlemen!!! Randy Brooks!! Randy could not be here to accept the award but according to Randy we have Denzel Washington on the phone on his behalf to accept this award. Denzel are you there? "Man I don't know this fool!!!" Ok then, well...

Our next Triflin fool award is for the most lazy. This award is given to the male who don't have a job, not because he can't find one, but because he does everything in his power to avoid getting one or doing anything productive with his time. Our first nominee is Starkey "Trees" Johnson who smokes a joint every hour on the hour. Even has a specialized weed clock alerting him when it's time to smoke. "Yo, man! It's 5.00 A.M. baby, time to do my weed pilaties. One and two and inhale, puff, puff, pass on.", Our second nominee is James Samps who relies on waiting on the hookup and waiting for a job instead of going out and actually looking for one. "Aw man! I know today is gonna be my day!! God is gonna bless me today!!! All I gotta do is sit here and watch judge Judy for a few hours, play some Playstation and God is gonna make that phone ring with somebody offering me a job! Bless you Lord!!!" The third nominee is Nate Diggs who relies on the get rich quick schemes to the alternative of a job. "Man I have like fifty online businesses dog!!! Money is just gonna be rollin in baby!! I'm gonna be richer than P Diddy! Whoo!!!"

And the award goes to......Starkey "Trees" Johnson!!!, Starkey "Trees" Johnson!!! We have live feed of Starkey receiving his award. "Yo man I like to thank everybody that supported me man and also I like to thank my......" DEA!!! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR NOW!!! "Yo man what the!!!" Starkey Johnson, you are charge with fifteen counts of drug possession and use. Get him out of here!!!!

Well I think Starkey's newest project will called 20 years and counting? In the meanwhile lets get to our next award shall we?

The next award goes to the most stank award this award goes to brothers who never keep this hygene game up, and always thinks that they are fine without washing up once in a while. Our first nominee up is Pat Stacey who wears every day Beatfou cologne, a cologne made for dogs but Pat rocks it every day "I don't seem to be attracting any girls, but I got a lot of female German Shepards on my leg. Yeah like I told those fools this cologne be workin!!". Our second nominee is Blake Blackman who currently has his own clothing line coming out that has the scents of the hood. He calls his line Hood Fresh, for the fact that is what he smells like everytime he is around people. "Yeah man let me show you some clothes fresh off my line man. This right here is called my dump line because it smells like these clothes have been put into a dumpster. Right here is called my weed line because it smells exactly like that good herb smoke, nah mean?!?!?! The third line is called pee line because my whole clothing line smells line the pee in hallway projects. Yeah I'm tellin you this whole line is going to blow up, up and UP!! Just hit me up for a fittin of any of my exquisite wares yo. Yo I just used a fancy word. Nice!" The third Nominee is Lonnie for his new line of rainbow color gum, which smells like the rainbow just gave up. "Hey, hey, hey it's Lonnie with the rainbow gum son! Check out these flavors you can chew into, Aight we got Grape jelly which many people I'm not saying who says smells like sour grapes comin out of you mouth"


And the award goes to...Blake Blackman! Blake Blackman! Come on up!! From his Hood Fresh selection. Here he comes wearing one of his selections. "Hey! Hey!! What is a goin on on and on? Let me get these rats off of me from chewing my clothes for a minute. First of all I like to thank the Fire Department and police for constantly coming over trying to shut my place down because they thought I had a garbage dump in my apartment. And I like to thank pest control for coming over for taking care of the rodents that came because of my line. And I like to thank everyone who ever had a bad smell and were afraid to show it! We in the house baby. We did it Tide! We did it Wisk! We got funky like Parliament baby!! Let me go because I see some people are passing out in the audience right now.


Well, let me take this gas mask off for a minute and we will continue with the rest of our nominees. And now we go to our most stupid award. This award goes to the brother or sister who have done something or things so stupid. You wonder if that brother or sista has a mental problem or disease that needs to be taken care of quickly! The first up is our brother Mack always robs places two or three times again knowing that he will be shot again if he trespasses but he does it anyway knowing that he will get some more good stuff. "Word up man! Yeah! I got shot a couple of times but I keep getting some new stuff. Knamean?" Ok nice Mack. The second nominee is brother Ted who has a new franchise selling used hubcaps from old clunkers. Um dosen' t this man know that they are trading in old cars for new now. Oh well, here's Ted. "What's up world and welcome to my emporium of huuuuuuuuuuubbbbbbbs!! We got all the custom models from your Acura to your old Nissan! Anything to fit your car and your wallet maine! Just come on down! COME ON DOWN!!!" Alright! well if we ever need a hubcap...we know where to come. Our third and final nominee is Ricky Rick who sells home bootlegs of his own porn videos. Well...Here's Ricky Rick! What's up people this is Ricky Rick of Booty in your face entertainment, showin you our new catalog of videos. We make adult videos but we also have videos for the kids also. Like we have Shrek Naked and Uncut. We got some of our most popular videos like Lydia the freak, props to our mailwoman for helping be the actress in that one and our most popular video is Barack And Michelle live and uncut! This was taken at the White House when they were doin they thang in the bedroom and I got the video right here! So its Bootyinyourface entertaiment or Bootyinyourfaceentertainment.com. I'm on Facebook and Twitter also man. Holla back!

And the award goes to...Ricky Rick!! Here he is now via satellite, what's up Rick!!! "What's goin on maine!! Maine! Maine!! Aw man! I never won anything in my life maine except that McDonald's monopoly game where I won a free coke and burger. But let me just start off my thanking a few people. First I like to thank Go-- Man what's that helicopter sound?" "SECRET SERVICE!!! ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW!!!" "AWW SAY MAN OK! OK!! ABOUT THE OBAMA THANG. LET'S WORK THIS THANG OUT NOW!! I CAN CUT YOU IN A PERCENT OF THE COMMISSIONS!! C'MON BABY!?! DON'T DO THIS!!"

Well I think I see a new video coming out for Rick. "Jailhouse booty." Starring Ricky Rick! Get it jailhouse booty? Ha!! Ha!!! Ha!! Whoo!! Well yeah.. Ok now our last award is a group reward for the most ridiculous crew. These are crews that just defy utter stupidity. No real purpose for the crew, just put together for some implausible reason or another.

Well our first crew is a crew that's gaining quite a name for themselves and gathering a following. It is a group of brothers who sit around and discuss issues about how broke they are and how they cannot afford to give their woman the things they want. Ladies and gentlemen give it up for the broke playas crew. "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!! What's up what's up. No money in the house makin no money! Yo we are the broke playas crew and we just letting you know you ain't got to make money, you ain't got to have a dollar in your pocket to be with our crew. We just sittin back, smokin some L's and just livin life baby. Oh man my man got another letter from the court telling them that his child support is due. No money! No money! No money!!

Alright! Broke playas crew in the house! No money No pro---well let's move on! We have now the Whack Rhymes Crew. From someplace in Brooklyn that is not on the map but they swear up and down it's where Jay Z was born at. So let's spit some rhymes gentlemen. "Whut up, Whut up!! This the What Rhymes Crew spittin out some rhymes so tight they whack! Check this out check this out. Comin in your door like six in the mornin. Stealin toilet paper just for the fun of it runnin up on you crews like stop, drop you own it! WHAT YEAH THAT WAS TIGHT MAN!! That's going to be on our new albulm What's really whack! The beginning."


Movin on the next group of brothas are getting mad ladies and lots of numbers. Say hello to the Get Some crew. "What's up people my name is Sway, And my is Darrell, and My name is Swift. And we are the Get some crew!" "We are the macks of the century. Highly intelligent and highly certified in getting numbers and just getting that dress of that girl. That's what we do. We are masters of the Game, tell em Swift." Yeah baby I got all these numbers right but never call the girlies back. I just got the numbers! Yknow what I mean?" "I know what you mean man! I must of gotten slapped at least ten times this week for telling a girl. Could you come over to my house and get butt naked now?" I remember I really got it when I told a 72 year old "Say baby you got a nice behind!" She really showed me love with her pocketbook and fist!" We getting some baby!!" So check us out America we are the "Get some crew." We comin to your town. And in them panties!!" Ha!! Ha!!"

"Alright now! Get some crew dosen't hate or discriminate when it comes to getting some. I can diiigg that!!" But our award for the most ridiculous crew and it was almost a tie between the Whack Rhymes Crew and the the Broke Playas but we saw something in one crew that got it and that crew was...The Get Some crew. Give it up to these fellas. They could not be here but had a video message in case they won.

"Say Darrell get the pampers for this liitle fool man! He's doo dooing on my new shirt man!" "Alright man!" "And get the milk bottle from the microwave the milk for the baby man. Oh hey what's up America! Thanks for voting for us as you see we had to put this playa thang on hold for a minute as we are busy trying to take care of all these babies of all the chicks we got some from! Hey that's the cost of the playa. Babies and...um...child support threats everyday! But hey broke playas are still coming to your town and in them...." "I told ya'll kids about playing in the kitchen man!! Wait till I put junior down!!"

Well that's our award show ladies and gentlemen. But before we go, we have one special award to go out and that is the the MTF Award. The Most Trifiln Fool award. This goes to a brother whose trifin game is on tact. He has proven that just when you didn't think there was a real trifin brother out there. We have the a brother whose profession is the worse of all trifin brothers. He gets paid by the government to snitch on other brother. Let's give it up for Lebron "Mac Daddy" Stevens!

"Hey!! Hey! America! What's goin on? Mac Daddy here! To come to your town and tell all your business!! Yeah you heard right! I am the snitch of snitches!! I have snitched on my friends, my auntie, my uncle even my moms and pops! You see they ain't here now they in prison finishing up a 12 year bid! And I got paid for it too! Easiest job in the world. I thank every one for this award and to all my snitches out there. Keep your head up and your mouth open! Ha!! Ha! Mac Daddy out!"

Well America that is our award show. We thank again all our nominees for being the fools that they are and the Grillin Palace and Just Booty Jeans and our entertainers for tonight! Thank you and keep on being a fool!!

Blanton P. Hardy