Tie Dye

Folding clothes, warm from the dryer
Sprawled across my creaky bed,
I take time to admire
The complexly woven thread.

I come across a skirt
That brings me pain I can't endure
And I get hurt, hurt, hurt
As the dark gains more allure.

I think of all the girls
With all the smiles and all the laughs
All the gold and all the pearls
While I come up missing half.

With every pattern, every color
New identities come to life
That makes me smaller, smaller, smaller
Until I'm faced with inner strife.

As I convince myself I'm sane
My mood soon bounces back
Just before my unearthed pain
Makes way for an attack.

An itchy, worn out sweater
Is my prized wardrobe staple
That makes me better, better, better
Because it somehow keeps me stable.

All I can do is think of him.
Beautiful colors, surface joy.
But itching fills to my brim,
Though there's so much to enjoy.

I then grab for colored tie dye
With messy, quirky rainbow
That makes me cry, cry, cry
Before I soon begin to grow.

The clothes have lost their heat
And my tears are nearly gone..
I almost feel complete.
I am no corpse to feed on.