Treehouse of Horror 2011.

Welcome dear reader, to a bunch of Simpson's Halloween stories written together as a trilogy in 2011. Read on for some of the weirdest Simpson's fan fiction you have ever read, will ever read or ever have read. FOREVER.

Disclaimer: The Simpson's belong to Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. This fan fiction is intended as a non profit parody only, no conscious attempt to defame, pass off or claim ownership has been made within this text. All characters within are purely fictional and in no way intended to resemble persons living or dead. No offence is intended to any reader, if offence is caused anyway please feel free to stop reading at any time instead of reading the entire thing then complaining anyway.

Part 1.

Lisa's nightmare.

It was late on Halloween and Lisa was working on her extra credit assignment for school. She sat at her desk on her kneeling chair, she popped another piece of candy into her mouth as she scribbled frenetically with her pencil. Suddenly Marge opened Lisa's bedroom door and walked in.

“Honey, it's getting late, you really should get ready for bed.” Marge said as she approached Lisa's desk.

“But mom, this assignment has to be ready for tomorrow, just give me ten more minutes, I'm nearly done.” Lisa said with a pleading look in her eyes.

“Oh okay, but I want you to get ready for bed as soon as you finish, you already stayed up past your bedtime. I don't want you falling asleep in class tomorrow.” Marge replied then turned to leave.

“Goodnight Lisa.” Marge said as she closed the door. Lisa didn't reply, she was far to busy writing frantically to finish her school work. Soon enough Lisa did finish, she placed her stack of papers that made up her assignment on the desk by the window then went to brush her teeth, then she took off her sandals and got changed into her green night gown. At this point she noticed that her window was still open.

“Oh, I'd better shut this, I don't want my assignment blowing away.” Lisa said then she walked up to the window and closed it before getting into bed.

Lisa soon fell asleep with the words “assignment blowing away.” which repeated over and over in her head. After what seemed like a few seconds but was really much longer Lisa thought she had woken up. Something wasn't right however, everything was a washed out grey colour like an old film, her window was open as well.

“Huh? Hey! I closed that! What's going on?” Lisa said to herself in complete surprise. Just then a gust of wind blew through the window sending the stack of papers with her extra credit assignment on them out of the window and into the Simpson's back yard. Lisa literally jumped out of bed and raced towards the window arms held out but it was too late the papers had gone out of the window. Unfortunately so had she. As Lisa fell from her window she suddenly noticed she was wearing her red dress and sandals despite the fact that she remembered changing out of them and into her green night gown. Then everything went dark. She didn't even feel an impact. Lisa assumed she was dead. Wrongly as it turned out.

Suddenly Lisa fell from the sky onto a street that looked like Evergreen Terrace, the street her house was on. As Lisa shook her head and got to her feet while rubbing her butt which had broken her fall she noticed something seemed odd about this street. Not that any of this made any sense, why was the window open, why was she dressed when she already got ready for bed, why was she here and not in the back garden which is where her window lead to. In any case the street itself looked normal enough, road, pavements, trees, low walls, shrubs, houses in the background. Strangely though she couldn't see more than a short distance ahead, as if something was stopping her from seeing further away. Lisa decided to move down the side walk to the right.

“Where am I? This place is just like Springfield but I'm pretty sure it isn't.” Lisa said to herself as she walked a short distance. Just then a mail box by the side of the road literally flew towards Lisa who just happened to be looking that way and saw it coming so she ducked and it flew over her head. The box continued across the road and then disappeared.

“This just keeps getting stranger.” Lisa said to herself then she carried on walking in case any more boxes attacked her. Shortly afterwards Lisa saw the school bus driven by Otto Mann zoom past at many times the speed limit.

“Uh, maybe this is Springfield after all.” Lisa said to herself as she continued down the side walk. Suddenly she noticed a three eyed fish like the one she and Bart had discovered near the power plant swimming through the air along the side walk on the other side of the road.

“Okay. It's not Springfield. I must be dreaming.” Lisa said as she realised what was going on. Just then a doge ball bounced towards her and hit her in the head which knocked her down. Naturally as she got up again she looked for the person who threw it but saw no one, then she noticed the ball was bouncing down the street by itself.

“Figures.” Lisa said under her breath. Lisa carried on walking, soon she noticed a piece of paper floating around on the wind. Lisa immediately realised what it was, it was her assignment which had blown through her window. She ran after it leaping over a couple of mail boxes on the way but it blew across the road. Lisa followed then narrowly missed being run over by the school bus. As a flying winged saxophone belched fireballs on the side of the street she just left Lisa caught up with the piece of paper. She was about to pick it up off the ground when suddenly she shrunk down to a few inches tall and two coloured doors appeared out of thin air on the paper. Lisa felt an irresistible urge to go through one of the doors but she didn't know which one. She chose the left one. Everything went dark.

Lisa suddenly found herself in a sprawling futuristic looking city that obviously wasn't Springfield. However Lisa was currently looking down at it as she was now some sort of giant lizard monster thing with her face and haircut.

“Oh well, when in Rome.” Lisa thought, she then proceeded to destroy buildings, tanks, jet fighters and helicopters using her feet, fire breath and laser vision. It was actually kinda fun except for the getting hit by shells or missiles. Lisa knew this action wasn't like her but for some reason she didn't question it, as if she wasn't herself in this part of the dream. This continued for a few minutes until suddenly another giant figure appeared in the city. It was CNR. Charles Nelson Riley. A man so tough he made Chuck Norris look like a great big pussy. Before Lisa could say or do anything he stunned her with his laser vision then kicked her into the sun.

“This isn't funny!” Lisa screamed as she hurtled towards her own inevitable incineration. Fade to black.

Once again Lisa found herself in the odd looking street.

“Well that didn't accomplish anything, I'm back where I started.” then she noticed she had some pieces of her assignment.

“Oh.” Lisa said wondering where else this dream would take her. She walked around dodging the mail boxes, doge balls, fireballs from flying winged saxophones for a while.

Eventually she found another piece of paper which was blowing around the street. Lisa chased it back across the street but in her haste she didn't notice a flying winged devil with a trident that looked a lot like her older brother Bart. At the last moment Lisa noticed him with his evil grin but the flying fiend had already raised his trident and used it to zap Lisa with a magic bolt.

There was a puff of smoke as Lisa felt herself become hollow and inflate like an air bag. The smoke cleared and in Lisa's place floated a shiny balloon version of her complete with balloon nozzle and piece of string dangling from her bottom. Her head was part of her balloon body, her hair spikes were arranged along the top of it, her bloated comically small puffy arms and legs still existed although she couldn't move them. Lisa blinked a couple of times then floated away as the Bart devil ignored her and flew away in the direction he was already going. As a balloon Lisa couldn't control where she was going and ended up floating randomly around the street for a few minutes. This was annoying but no more so than the entire experience of the dream up to this point.

Lisa wondered what else might happen to her before the dream was over. She then began to wonder why this dream seemed so real, so vivid. Finding no answers she was eventually restored to her normal size and shape when the Crazy Cat Lady threw a cat at her which caused a magic explosion when it collided with her balloon body.

“Yeah, cats cure being a balloon. Makes perfect sense.” Lisa said sarcastically then jumped up and ran for it as the Crazy Cat Lady threw yet more cats at her. Fortunately for Lisa it didn't take long to get out of range of the cat throwing hag, of course there were the other hazards to deal with as well. Lisa carefully made her way through the street until she saw the paper once again.

“Ah! There you are!” Lisa said to herself as she ran towards it.

“Ow!” mailbox.

“Ow!” doge ball.

“Ow!” three eye fish.

“Ow!” doge ball again.

Lisa finally caught up with the paper and once again she shrunk down and had to walk through one of two coloured doors. Lisa picked the one on her right. Fade to black.

Lisa suddenly found herself in a mall, she looked around then noticed Itchy and Scratchy charging at her with oversized mallets. Lisa had seen enough Itchy and Scratchy cartoons to know what their intentions were so she started to run away from them. They chased her though the mall for maybe ten seconds before she noticed a mallet on the ground nearby.

“I think it's obvious what I have to do here.” Lisa said to herself as she picked up the mallet and used it to flatten the cartoon cat and mouse. Of course cartoons being cartoons they simply came back again and again. Lisa fought a running battle through the mall with them, eventually they started coming with flame throwers and rocket launchers. Naturally Lisa found a flame thrower of her own and used it to fight back. It was just like being in an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon except for the intro and credits. The irony then struck Lisa that she had once helped write an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon with her brother and now she was effectively starring in one.

“I think Bart would probably enjoy this more than me.” Lisa said as she finally came to the mall entrance. Outside there was a parade with parade balloons. Lisa stopped for a moment and lowered her flame thrower. That was all it took. Itchy and Scratchy caught up with her and grabbed her. First they disarmed her of the flame thrower then Scratchy pulled out a tank of compressed hydrogen gas. Itchy grabbed the hose and shoved it forcefully into Lisa's mouth then Scratchy turned on the gas full blast. Of course Lisa tried to pull the hose out but this being a cartoon she inflated far too quickly eventually becoming the size and shape of a parade balloon in just a few seconds. The hose fell from Lisa's mouth but instead of flying around and deflating she floated up into the parade with the other balloons. Scratchy handed Itchy a bow and an arrow with fire on it which he then drew back on the bow and waited. Lisa could see what he was going to do but was helpless to do anything about it. Itchy fired and Lisa's enormous parade balloon body exploded in a fireball the instant the arrow pierced her. Fade to black.

Lisa woke up screaming in her bed at night then realised that she was still alive and the dream was over.

“I'm still alive, I didn't explode!” Lisa said to herself. Just then Bart passed by and looked at her strangely.

“Lisa whatever they got you on cut the dose.” Bart said then walked away back to his room. Lisa then remembered her assignment, jumped out of bed and ran over to her desk where it sat right where she had left it before she went to bed. Lisa sighed with relief then walked back over to her bed, climbed in and went back to sleep.

The end.

Part 2.

Ball of the worlds.

Bart and Lisa were in the back yard playing with Santa's Little Helper using a toy ball when suddenly a large shadow appeared above them. It belonged to Kang and Kodos intergalactic spaceship.

“Whoa man! Cooool!” Bart said while Lisa just looked on in stunned silence contemplating the implications of what she was seeing. Suddenly two orange tractor beams shot out of the bottom of the UFO and pulled both of the Simpson's kids up onto the ship through an open hatch in the underside. The ship then immediately zoomed off into the sky leaving a disappointed Santa's Little Helper sitting alone in the back yard. He made a noise which is subtitled as “Damn, I was enjoying that.” then the scene switched to the spaceship.

Bart and Lisa both stood together hugging each other, they were terrified having been suddenly abducted then pulled into this darkened cargo bay. After a short time a series of lights came on and a door opened.

“See I told you it was this one.” an alien said as two of them slithered through the door, they were of course Kang and Kodos complete with tentacles and transparent domes around their bodies.

“Greetings puny earthling, I am Kang and this is Kodos. We have abducted you to carry out bizarre unethical experiments on you. Resistance is futile, submit to our will or be destroyed.” the green one eyed alien said. Bart and Lisa didn't answer and Kang just clapped his tentacles together at which point a couple of alien guards appeared with ray guns and forced Bart and Lisa down a corridor.

“Well I still like them better than the Republicans.” Lisa said as they went.

“Or Sideshow Bob.” Bart added.

As soon they arrived in a lab with some scientist looking aliens the guards stepped back to guard the door and the science aliens picked up the kids and placed them on a raised platform in front of a test range for some type of alien ray gun. The platform glowed then suddenly Bart and Lisa found that they could not move at all. One of the science aliens who looked like he was in charge walked or rather slithered up to the ray gun made some adjustments to it then fired it at Bart and Lisa. A bright glow surrounded them and then they started to morph and change shape. They inflated generally round but uneven with some arms or legs getting more bloated than others. The head science alien looked displeased then zapped them again which turned them back to normal. He then went back to the other science aliens who started working at computer stations. All the while ignoring Bart and Lisa as if they were mere furniture or a pet animal. After a considerable time which probably seemed longer to the trapped children the head science alien slithered over to the ray gun once again. It worked on the weapon making some adjustments with some kind of tool which they'd never seen then zapped them again. This time the kids inflated more evenly and not nearly as large becoming spherical except for their hands, feet and heads. Their clothes actually seemed to become part of their bodies while transformed. Again the science alien looked annoyed, zapped them back to normal then went back to work on some kind of computer. Again after a period of intensive fiddling around the science chief came back to the ray, adjusted it once again then fired it at Bart and Lisa once more. This time they transformed by expanding as their bodies were pulled in on themselves then shrunk somewhat eventually they became actual balls about soccer ball sized. They were completely round balls with no human features and their clothes were just another part of the pattern on their ball bodies. As Bart and Lisa sat on the raised platform which was all they could really do anyway the aliens started celebrating with strange looking beverages and carried the head science alien out of the room in jubilation.

Some time later on the bridge of the alien vessel an alien listened into his earpiece then approached Kang who was looking at earth on the view screen.

“Captain. The science division reports that they've completed project Ballinator. The adjustments are ready to be entered into the full sized prototype.” he reported to Kang.

“Excellent. Make it ready as soon as possible. We shall proceed to phase two of the testing. Muhahahahahaha.” Kang replied. What he didn't realised however was that the alien giving the report was back in the lab and Bart and Lisa who were still aware of their surroundings heard it. Worse in the celebration which followed the successful test the aliens had totally forgotten about them. They were all so unaware that the small prototypes transformation effect would wear off in a couple of hours by which time the lab was shut off including the restraining platform.

A couple of hours later there was much squeaking and morphing as Bart and Lisa turned back to normal.

“Whoa that was weird.” Bart commented.

“Never mind that, Bart quickly, we have to stop those aliens from destroying the world with their transformation ray.” Lisa said.

“How do we do that?” Bart asked.

“Well maybe the computers in here could do something to sabotage the ray gun.” Lisa suggested then they moved over to the computer consoles and Lisa started working on it.

“How are you even doing that? It's in an alien language.” Bart asked.

“There must some type of translator on this ship which is why we could understand them before in the cargo bay.” Lisa explained.

“Oh yeah.” Bart replied.

“Okay I've disabled the tractor beam and created a feedback loop between the full sized transformation ray prototype and the ships reactor. When they fire it at full power the ship will blow up.” Lisa explained.

“Then we need to get to an escape pod.” Bart suggested.

“How do you know they have escape pods?” Lisa asked.

“On a ship this size? There must be.” Bart replied.

“Hmm. Lets see. Yes! There's one just around the corner from here.” Lisa said.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let's go.” Bart replied. Lisa shut down the computer and they both made a run for the escape pod. Fortunately there were no guards and the rest of the crew were either working elsewhere or busy celebrating the breakthrough with the ray gun. They made it to the pod, climbed inside then Bart pulled the release handle. The pod careered away from the ship towards earth.

On the bridge of the alien ship a crew member reported to Kang.

“Captain, we've got an escape pod launch on section 7G.” Kang rolled his eyes.

“It's probably just a misfire. Ignore it. How long until the Ballinator cannon is ready?” Kang asked.

“About 15 minutes sir.” the crew member replied.

“Good commence firing on Springfield as soon as it's ready.” Kang ordered.

Meanwhile the escape pod crashed down in the woods near Springfield making a deep trench and knocking down some trees. Some time later a hatch opened then Bart and Lisa climbed out of it. Then they looked up and saw a bright flash in the sky as the alien space ship exploded.

“Phew, I guess that means we're safe now.” Bart said.

“I wouldn't be so sure about that Bart.” Lisa replied.

“Why?” Bart asked.

“Well didn't mom tell us not to leave the house without her permission?” Lisa responded.

“Uh oh.” Bart said.

Later back at the Simpson's house in the backyard Bart and Lisa were trying to sneak back in without anyone noticing. Just as they reached the back door Marge appeared from around the side of the house.

“There you are! You two are in so much trouble! I told you not to go anywhere without asking! Especially now that we've got FBI and soldiers running around with guns. You two are both grounded for two weeks.” Marge said.

“But mom we just..” Bart began.

“But nothing, don't make me make it three weeks young man. Now go to your room. You too Lisa.” Marge replied sternly. Lisa shook her head at Bart and they trudged upstairs to their rooms.

“Man, saving the world sucks.” Bart said as he entered his room.

The end.

Part 3.

Careful what you wish for.

The scene opened on Evergreen Terrace, inside the Simpson's house Lisa was having a birthday party with Marge, Bart and some of her friends from school in the dining room. Lisa blew out the candles.

“Now Lisa don't forget to make a wish.” Marge said, Lisa did so having closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.

“What did you wish for? A pony?” Bart asked.

“No, not this time, actually I wished that...” Just then Homer arrived back from work and came into the dining room then looked surprised. Lisa looked cynical.

“Hi dad, you forgot my birthday didn't you?” Lisa said as a statement of fact rather than any reaction.

“Oh Lisa don't be silly, I er..just need to get something..from my car.” Homer said then ran outside where has was mauled by a dog and a badger before he eventually shook them off and managed to get into his car and drive away. Lisa just sighed.

“Well look on the bright side Lisa, at least he's consistent, he never gets your hopes up.” Bart commented.

“Bart! That's a horrible thing to say.” Marge said scolding her son.

“You know what the saddest part is mom?” Lisa turned to Marge and asked.

“Uh no, what honey?” Marge replied.

“I actually wished he'd remember my birthday and get me something I actually like. But I guess we know now that magic only works in films.” Lisa explained.

Meanwhile Homer drove through Springfield in his pink ugly looking car desperately trying to find a shop that was open and sold something Lisa would actually want.

“Gotta find a gift for Lisa. Gotta find a gift for Lisa.” He tried several shops selling new age hippie goods but they were all closed. Eventually Homer arrived outside the cursed item shop where he bought the talking Krusty doll for Bart.

“Well um..it's weird..just not hippie weird..creepy is a kinda of weird right?” Homer's brain said.

“Yes, maybe they'll have something here.” Homer said to himself then jumped out of the car and ran inside.

“You gotta help me I need a present for my little girl.” Homer said to the shop owner who had a long wiry beard and was dressed in oriental clothes.

“Hmm, were you referring to the hippy or the one who shot Mr Burns?” the shop owner asked.

“Oh, no, I meant Lisa not Maggie.” Homer replied.

“Hmm, well perhaps she would like this? Does she do yoga?” the shop owner said handing a yoga ball to Homer.

“Hey, yeah, I think she does. How much?” Homer asked.

“Twenty dollars, but I must warn you sir it bears a most terrible and dangerous curse.” the shop owner explained.

“That's bad.” Homer said.

“But it's in our discount sale.” the shop owner said.

“That's good.” Homer said.

“The sale is all so cursed.” the shop owner explained.

“That's bad.” Homer said.

“It comes with a free copy of Transformers 2.” the shop owner said.

“That's good.” Homer said.

“The disc has fingermarks all over it and directors commentary.” the shop owner said.

“That's bad.” Homer said.

“It's a non stop explosion filled thrill ride.” the shop owner said.

“That's good.” Homer said.

“It's directed by Michael Bay.” the shop owner said.

“Uh, you keep it.” Homer replied. The next thing seen is Homer as he walked out of the shop with the exercise ball and the DVD of Transformers 2 which he dumped into the sewer grate then he drove off in his car. Seconds later there was angry squeaking and the DVD was hurled back through the sewer grate into the street. Translation: “Fucking humans! Don't throw your garbage down here!”

Some time later Homer arrived back at the house and pulled into the driveway. By now the party was over and Bart and Lisa were watching TV in the den. The front door opened and Homer walked in.

“Lisa, I got you a present.” Homer announced.

“Uh, I didn't have time to wrap it.” Homer added. Lisa realised what it was and got up to take it from Homer.

“Wow, this is actually something I could really use, thanks dad.” Lisa said then hugged Homer, took the ball from him then carried it upstairs.

“Phew.” Homer said then collapsed on the couch next to Bart.

“Wow, she actually liked it, normally your gifts suck.” Bart commented.

“WHY YOU LITTLE!” Homer yelled then strangled Bart.

“Homer! Stop it! You know, you could be a little more thoughtful, then maybe he wouldn't say things like that. And Bart, watch your smart mouth mister.” Marge said as she leaned in from the kitchen and told them both off. Homer stopped strangling Bart and they carried on watching TV.

Meanwhile in Lisa's room she was busy admiring her new present which was a bright red yoga ball that was small enough for her to easily carry.

“Wow, for once dad actually got something that I'd like, normally he just buys crazy crap or stuff that he likes.” Lisa said then suddenly she felt a strange chill run down her spine.

“Well even a broken clock is right twice a day.” Lisa's brain said to herself. Later that night while Lisa was asleep in bed the ball which was sitting on the floor over by her desk and book case started to glow. Suddenly a stream of bright glowing energy reached out and extended until is was touching Lisa. Within it a current seemed to be draining something from the little girl into the ball. Lisa didn't wake up or even stir and the process whatever it was continued throughout the night.

In the morning when Lisa woke up she didn't feel fresh she actually felt tired as if she'd been up all night. Marge said it was nothing to worry about and sent her to school anyway where she couldn't concentrate and kept falling asleep.

School ended and back at home after dinner Lisa decided to do some meditating hoping that maybe she'd sleep better if she did. Since she pretty much ignored the ball she didn't notice it had gotten much bigger maybe three or four times it's original size. That wasn't all however, it had all so changed colour and taken on a pattern which looked like Lisa's red dress, white panties and pearl necklace. Obviously had Lisa or her family been aware of this it would have been alarming to say the least but she had no idea. As Lisa continued to meditate the ball glowed once more, it established the energy link again and drained even more of her energy. It didn't grow this time but did begin to look less shiny and more like it's dress and other clothes were real rather than painted on. Lisa on the other hand started to look less and less real, she became more and more like a pool toy or a blow up doll with every second that passed.

When she stopped meditating she suddenly noticed that her skin and clothes were shiny and looked painted on. Lisa stood up feeling strangely hollow and light. Not only that but she was becoming tired and her mind was fuzzy, it was getting hard to think. Normally Lisa might have figured it out and called for help or made a run for it but drained as she was she merely stood there confused. This turned out to be her undoing as the cursed ball rolled around the side of the bed then came to rest in front of Lisa. It had now drained so much of Lisa's energy that it looked more real than she did and was able to move by itself.

“W..w..what?” was all Lisa could say as the ball drained what was left of her energy and turned into a copy of her that looked as real as she used to look. This was bad enough but even worse at the same time Lisa gradually turned into an exercise ball about the same size as the cursed ball before it transformed. She felt herself inflating and being pulled inwards until she was nothing but a perfectly round yellow ball with a pattern where her dress, necklace and other clothes were. Lisa tried to understand what had happened to her or fight it but she was too tired, instead she drifted off to sleep with one word repeating over and over in her mind “Ball”. As she lost conciseness completely the last thing she heard was giggling from what looked and sounded like Lisa right in front of her.

When she eventually woke up Lisa did at last feel refreshed at least somewhat compared to how she had been in the last day or so. She tried to get up and nothing happened, she tried to speak, same thing, nothing. What on earth was going on? Maybe she had a stroke and was paralysed. He mind certainly wasn't effected, although she couldn't remember how she got here or going to bed or what day it was? Just then Marge entered the room with a feather duster and began dusting. Lisa tried again to act or speak but nothing happened. Even more odd Marge was paying absolutely no attention to Lisa. Normally she would have said “hey” or at least looked in her direction. Lisa's confusion only deepened when Marge came over and started dusting her.

“Hey mom, that tickles.” Lisa laughed in her mind but made no sound. Just then Lisa noticed her reflection in the mirror over her desk. Her mind came to a stop like a train wreck. She was a ball, an exercise ball like the one that her dad had given her for her birthday, except for the obvious Lisa like pattern around the ball. It occurred to Lisa that Marge probably hadn't actually seen the ball and for all she knew Lisa was just a ball now. Suddenly Lisa started to remember things from last night, at first she thought she'd switched places with the ball but then she remembered that they didn't switch positions. No, she was a ball and the ball had turned into her. It must be some kind of monster which drained her life force in order to become human, so she didn't have enough energy to remain human and turned into a ball as a result. Lisa had read stories about demons that could do this but she never expected to actually meet one and be transformed by it. Meanwhile Marge continued cleaning Lisa's room then eventually left oblivious to the fact her eldest daughter was in the room with her all along and not at school. Lisa for her part reflected on the irony that if Marge knew that Lisa wasn't at school she'd probably be annoyed. Not that she could do much else now really, she was just an immobile, mute yoga ball.

Meanwhile the imposter was at school in Ms Hoover's class, nobody thought anything was amiss. The imposter looked, sounded and even moved like Lisa. More than that it had Lisa's memories so it could answer questions without being caught out and knew where to go and how to behave. At the end of the class it left with the other students. Of course it wasn't even remotely interested in learning as if the teachers here could teach it anything, it was ancient and had forgotten more than they would ever know. No what it wanted was more victims to drain of their life energy leaving them as inanimate objects.

When it saw Terri and Sherri playing on an isolated part of the school field it seized the opportunity. It ran towards them, of course they noticed and turned to what they thought was Lisa.

“Hey, Lisa great party the other day, we were just..” was as far as Terri got before it zapped them with it's energy draining beam. The twins were to surprised to do anything, they just stood there being drained of energy. Quickly they became scarecrow versions of themselves, their legs merged and turned into a wooden stick as did their arms which ended in puffy white gloves. Their bodies became straw then finally their heads turned into pumpkins with carved faces. Their dresses and hair bows remained unchanged. They didn't know what hit them seeing only an image of their new bodies in their mind before they fell into a deep sleep.

The imposter smiled then headed inside the school, it had spotted Allison Taylor on the roof working on the weather station. This was a perfect opportunity if ever there was one. The imposter arrived on the roof then walked over to Allison who was far to absorbed in taking readings to notice her. It zapped her which immediately got her attention but there was nothing she could do as her energy drained away, without enough energy to remain human she inflated into a weather balloon on the spot. Fortunately for Allison the balloon she turned into was tethered so she didn't float away for now. Like the twins she just saw herself as a weather balloon then fell into a deep sleep. The imposter turned around and quickly left the roof.

It headed to the girls toilets, as it needed to relieve itself. This didn't take long and on the way out it noticed Jessica Lovejoy in the corridor up ahead. After it had checked that there was no one around it zapped her and drained her energy.

“Hey! What are you do.” was all Jessica got out before she was drained and turned into a dodge ball right in front of the imposter who just laughed Lisa's childish laugh. Jessica saw herself as a ball then quickly fell asleep. The imposter smiled, bounced Jessica a couple of times then threw her into the sports supplies closet in the gym nearby. This was just too easy.

Meanwhile back in Lisa's room at the Simpson's house she had been meditating non stop since she awoke that day. Lisa had nearly regained enough of her energy to assume human form again. Normally it might have taken days even weeks but her meditation had sped up the process. It turned out the imposter didn't have as much time as it thought to deal with her.

“Okay here goes nothing.” Lisa thought really having nothing to loose at this point, her situation could hardly be much worse after all. She struggled trying to remember her body she'd had as recently as yesterday. It proved to be harder than she thought. She'd expected to change back as quickly as she turned into a ball. However this was not the case. With some great effort she managed to get her face, ears and hair spikes onto the top of her ball body.

“Well, it's a start.” Lisa said. An hour later her head was back along with her hands and feet complete with her red sandals. She tried moving her neck around and wiggled her hands but didn't try walking in case she fell over. It took her a couple more hours to get her arms and legs back. Well mostly back, they were still puffy and somewhat cone shaped. Her torso was unchanged, still a ball.

“Come on, this is taking too long. I've got to get out of here before it comes back.” Lisa said to herself then concentrated again on turning back to normal. Two more hours later Lisa was back to normal except she still looked shiny and fake as if she was an inflatable of some kind.

“Come on just a bit more.” Lisa said to herself then suddenly she looked real again, flesh, blood, cloth, pearls and hair. Lisa stood up, nearly fell over then staggered over to the bed where she sat down. Her transformation back to normal was tiring and slow although she wasn't tired like she was yesterday.

After another five minutes of walking around her room she decided that she could risk trying to sneak out and do something about this imposter. Fortunately Marge had gone out somewhere with Maggie, shopping probably, so it was easy for Lisa to borrow a key and sneak out of the back door.

As she walked away from her home she wondered where she should go, obviously reporting the problem to the police was a waste of time. The police in Springfield were incompetent to the point where they had enough trouble catching petty criminals never mind supernatural aberrations. Then it occurred to her where her father had probably purchased the doll from, the same place he got that possessed Krusty doll that kept attacking him. Lisa decided to pay them a visit.

A short while later Lisa arrived at the shop, the same guy was behind the counter as when Homer visited.

“Well what can I do for you little girl?” the shop owner asked.

“My name is Lisa Simpson.” Lisa began.

“Oh dear.” the shop owner replied.

“I've just spent the last day or so as a yoga ball after that cursed ball you sold my dad attacked me in my room.” Lisa explained then folded her arms.

“I see, I did try to explain to your father that the item was cursed but there was no dissuading him. Wait. How did you regain human form?” the shop owner asked.

“I meditated, I'm a Buddhist.” Lisa responded.

“Ah, I see, yes that would do it. So what exactly is it you wish of me? I'm assuming this isn't a social call.” the shop owner said.

“Hardly. I need to find some way to stop this thing, there's no telling who it might harm or what it might do. I thought you might know how to vanquish it since you are familiar with the cursed item in the first place.” Lisa explained.

“Well lets see, I might have something, hmm hang on a minute.” the shop owner said then pulled out an RPG-7 from under the counter. Lisa raised an eyebrow.

“A rocket propelled grenade launcher. You have got to be kidding me.” Lisa said.

“It's the RPG-7 of Demonology. Said to be able to banish even the strongest of daemons back to the abyss. And if it doesn't then it should end up as a fine mist anyway from the explosion so it's all good.” the shop owner explained.

“Uh, don't you have anything a bit more, portable?” Lisa asked.

“Look, do you want to stop this daemon or not? Oh and by the way I'm not giving you that, I'm letting you borrow it and I want it back.” the shop owner said.

“Well okay but how am I supposed to walk through Springfield without being arrested for having an illegal weapon?” Lisa asked.

“That's a good point, here take this teleportation stone, use it to go to wherever the daemon is then blast it with the RPG-7. Then you come straight back here and give them back to me. Got it? Okay.” the shop owner said then handed Lisa the rocket launcher and the magic stone. Lisa concentrated on the stone and on the imposter then she disappeared in a flash of light.

Lisa appeared on the roof of Springfield Elementary, she walked over to the edge of the roof and saw the imposter standing alone on the playing field in front of her. Lisa shouldered the weapon then lined up the cross hairs with the imposter.

“This is for turning me into a yoga ball.” Lisa said then fired immediately. The imposter heard something and nearly turned around in time to dodge the grenade. Nearly wasn't good enough however and it detonated right on top of it creating a brief vortex that sucked it in until it had disappeared then vanished itself. There seemed to be some energy left behind which broke up and dispersed. Some of it went back into Lisa, some to the twins Sherri and Terri, some into Allison, some into Jessica. Lisa took out the teleportation stone and teleported back to the weird shop just as Allison started to return to normal on the roof beside her. Soon she was back to human form again.

“Uh what happened, I must have passed out, I had the weirdest dream.” Allison said to herself.

Later at home Lisa was sitting in her room reading when Homer walked by and noticed her yoga ball was gone.

“Hey, what happened to that exercise ball I got you for your birthday?” Homer asked.

“Uh, well, don't ask. Dad just please don't get anything from that cursed store again whatever you do.” Lisa responded. Homer just stared at Lisa like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.

The end.