You or him?

Torn between true love and a rebound. A dark cloud of lies and deceits hovering perfectly above your head gives me every reason to believe your not the one. You pushed me into the arms of a two woman man, debating if he should leave his woman for me. He gracefully lifted up my aspirations of true happiness and took the time to maneuver around the pain to grasp my heart. Mean-while you are broken! Broken to see that your evil ways can cause a love so pure and innocent to travel into the lives of he and I. High school sweethearts? you took my sweet heart and destroyed every aspect of a soulmate. He goes missing, while you find another companion to hold off your lonely emotions.I start to panic. Where is my he? With his woman obviously. Summer flings go strong as you fly high with she and I reunite with him. Slowly he kissses my lips, gazes into my big eyes just to tell me he loves me. I love him too. My him. Transitioned from a hot boy to the epitome of a strong black man. He is perfect. His body is ready for mines. He carries me into the bedroom to make love to his woman? At least I was his woman at that very moment. We belonged together...so i thought. Sweet love part ways as the leaves starts to fall and the birds start to travel. I walk unto campus to see your dark skinned beautiful face. You stand there while the inside of me is just screaming your name! My soul is cying...just tell me we can make it work. I walk to class, walking away from us. He starts to fade so he resorts back to her. When you believe your the only one, a mere fantasy becomes reality! My anger for them turns towards you! You did this to me, to us. A love gone wrong so many times...was it even love? Or the idea of being in love? Trying to mold him into what you use to be, I failed. He could never be you...or were you just like him? A cheater? A liar? Lonely nights and late mornings. I gave up on love. Im tired. The burden of our failed relationship weights heavy on my shoulders as I walk the same campus with the women, excuse me, whores, who shared a piece of you. They say time heals all wounds...well this wound is a scab. The dried blood falls off and so does our anger. The scab vanishes and so does the hurt but a scar is forever, just like our memories. Memories of us clouds my thoughts as my heart helplessly falls for your love again. You're always fooling me but I cant help it, I love you. I just want to be with you. But then what about him? Where is he? I miss him. I need him to tell me how beautiful I am. I need him to love me again so I can love myself. He helps me forget you...the hurt. Do I love him...or am I attracted to the safety net he becomes when I get hurt. Our emotions are imbalanced. All three of us.