The United Cells of Carl

Dr. Stevens entered the room carrying papers on a clipboard. "Carl We've got the results to your blood test and your brain scan here. Didn't show anything out of the ordinary, no stroke, no aneurysm, or blood clots. In terms of ability to function, your body is fine."

"But I'm not fine." Carl stressed. "My arm doesn't move, I have constipated urination, and my left eye won't focus" he said.

"You may be experiencing a cellular uprising." Dr. Stevens suggested.

"A cellular uprising? What is that?" Carl inquired.

"Well Carl, it seems that the cells that comprise you; Carl, are sick and tired of you and your management. They demand reform." replied Dr. Stevens.

"Oh, so its just a way of my body giving me a message that I need to shape up?" Carl suggested

"No, its more dire than that I'm afraid, the cells that make up your body and brain are in a state of revolution, if they organize they will install a new acting I." replied Dr. Stevens.

"What do you mean, a new acting I?" Asked Carl.

"I mean there will be a new you, but it won't be you. Your cells will form a new persona which will depose you from your position as I." replied Dr. Stevens.

"What will become of me?" Carl asked.

"First you will lose control of parts of your body, then you will lose your senses, and then you will find yourself with nothing to control, nothing to see, and you will remain trapped in your body with nothing but your thoughts until the body and brain you inhabit dies."

"Oh goodness no!.." Carl lamented. "What can I do?"

"Well for starters you can lob off a finger or two in order to send your left arm and other cells a message. It's about keeping your cells in line let them know who's in charge. I am referring you to a political strategist, you're going to need to take many blood samples to measure your cell's sentiment." Replied Dr. Stevens.

"Whatever it takes." Said Carl.