Tavern Tales: Chapter One

         As I stood before the gorge I couldn't help but wonder why I had to climb down to the bottom, fight my way through a small army of the undead, find the mythical Raven’s Claw, and try to scale the smooth walls of the other side of the canyon. If this detour is just a ‘fetch quest’ for some sword that was better used as a kitchen knife, why should I care to help this village?, I wondered to myself.

         “Are you sure this is the only way to reach the raiders’ camp?” I asked in confusion before snarkily adding, “I mean, I could just build a small bridge across the ravine in less than half an hour, and still get rid of those creeps for y’all without the help of this so-called mythical sword,”

         “No,” answered Victor authoritatively, “The Raven’s Claw is real! I saw the legendary blade myself, but I couldn't get to it because of those…” He suddenly paused, and when he continued, he sounded more like a beggar than the Guard Captain he was, “… those things down there, so you’re the only one who could possibly retrieve it. And besides that, it will certainly help you along your way.”

         “Well, I guess I could take a short detour. And if this blade really is as powerful as the elders claim it is, then it’s worth a shot,” I offered.

         “Wish me luck,” I yelled back to Victor, while secretly wondering if I’d even be able to survive the trip to the bottom.



         I s’ppose I should've started telling you my tale from the beginning. I mean, there’s plenty of time ‘till the tavern owner leaves for the night, an’ I can easily talk ‘im into stayin’ late for a story. Well, pull up a stool, ‘n’ get comfy, cause it’s a long story…

*Ahem*

         My name is James. I’ve still got the gear I used in this- Hey! Don’t touch that! It’s enchanted to… separate the soul from… the body. Well, great. But at least you learned a lesson here, didn’t you? Don’t play with sharp stuff; grip the handle, not the blade. Anyway, I’ll fix your problem in just a sec; I have to find the right charm first. Ah, here it is, one Belt of Binding; it’ll keep your soul bound to your body as long as you wear it. You can still remove the belt, but if you don’t put it back on within ten minutes, you’ll get split again, and the charm will wear off. You’ll need to get the charm restored by a local priest if that happens, so be careful.

         Now, where was I? Ah, right, the start of my ‘little’ quest. Well, it started like this…

         It was a nice, peaceful morning, nothing unusual there, right? Well that was apparently about to change. I was sleeping in a bit, but seriously, who doesn’t sleep in on the first day of their adventure? Apparently, someone else was in my room, which was weird because at the time, I lived completely alone, and was considered a hermit due to how hard it was to find my home.

         “Zzzz… Huh?”

         “Good morning, Master!”

         “Aaah! Who are you?!” I yelled in surprise.

         “Oh no, I forgot to do the introduction! Please don’t punish me-nyaa*,” the girl said in a panic.

         Of course, this made no sense to me, but I wasn’t about to look like a fool in front of this pretty young lady, mainly due to the fact that she was the first visitor I’d had in a long time.

         “I wouldn’t have any reason to punish anyone; its fine. Just go ahead and introduce yourself, and let’s go from there,” I said groggily.

         Upon hearing this, she breathed a sigh of relief. She must be really nervous about this, I thought to myself.

         “Ok, well my name is Aerith,” she said, regaining her confidence, “And I was sent to be your partner. I am trained in culinary arts, housekeeping, gardening, basic economics, information gathering, and various forms of combat including CQC, thrown projectiles, and most firearms. I am to stay by your side and protect you at all times, and help keep you healthy and fighting-fit.”

         “Uhh…ok, but what’s CQC? And what do you mean ‘protect’ me?”

         “CQC is a form of mixed martial arts designed to dispatch targets quickly and quietly. It can be used for either lethal or non-lethal purposes.”

         “Ok, and what are you protecting me from?”

         “You are at risk of assassination by the forces of the Baron of Windsor. You have to come with me to my hometown. We have an escort party waiting to help get you to a safe location. Will you help us?”

         Now I’m no hero, or at least I wasn’t yet, but I figured I didn’t have anything better to do, so I agreed to see if I could help out with this cute girl’s problem. Looking back on it, I should never have doubted my decision to assist her people.

         “Sure, I’ll help, but how am I gonna be of any use? I mean, I’m not trained in anything except videogames and sleeping.”

         “We can help you learn then. We need someone with fresh ideas, and you have been chosen. There’s a shortcut nearby, so are you ready to go?”

         “Alright, lead the way.”

         I hadn’t really thought about it before, but Aerith’s ears were pointed, and located on top of her head, like a cat’s ears and she had a tail, also like a cat. I guess when I first woke up and saw her, my brain just assumed it was her hair, but I could see much more clearly now that was not the case.

         “So are your people also, uh, part animal?” I asked tentatively, not sure if I had just offended her with my question.

         “Is that what you call it here? ‘Part animal?’ Well, to answer your question, yes, we are ‘part animal,’ but we prefer the term kemonomimi, or to simply be called whatever animal it is that we resemble most and use either boy or girl as a suffix to the name of the animal. For instance, I would be called a catgirl-nyaa~.”

         “Ok…”

         I was redder than a beet at this point, not because I was embarrassed, but because she was able to mix beauty and cuteness perfectly. Well, embarrassed too, but that’s not the point. Anyway, back to the story.

         As soon as I’d grabbed a Bible, my old pocketknife-it was a tiny little thing with a two-inch blade, screwdriver, and scissors-, and a journal and pencil, she dragged me out the back door, and we ran towards the forest.

         I should have also explained that part of the reason I was hard to reach was because my home was stuck in the middle of zoning nightmare; my house had been built at the intersecting point of three radically different biomes: a marshy wetland, a small desert, loaded with cacti, and a forest with the ‘ruins of an ancient civilization’ in it, which was really no more than an old, half torn down archery tower I’d once tried to convince the closest mayor, Mayor Nolan, to let me keep it as a playground for kids, which he’d declined because, as he put it, “Honestly, James, who’s going to let their kids play in an archer’s nest?”

         Whoops, going off on a tangent again there. So, we’d run out the back door, and I was tempted to just stop and gawk at what I saw when we stopped at the edge of the forest: A shimmering, portal that was a purple as amethyst, held within a large, rectangular frame made of what appeared to be pure quartz.

         “Are we going through that thing? I thought you might’ve had, like, a giant bird thing, or a hidden tunnel, or something like that…”

         “Nope,” she answered cheerily, “I just walked right into your world, so we can just walk out the same way, unless something happens to the frame on the other side.”

         As soon as she finished speaking, the portal started to flicker as though a switch was being flipped on and off, and then disappeared with a hiss and a click.

         “Aerith? That’s not supposed to happen, is it?” I inquired.

         “Nyaa~!! I keep messing up!” she bawled, dropping to her knees in front of the now-empty frame. Now if you’ve never seen a girl cry, consider yourself lucky, as it is an absolutely heart wrenching sight, and I guarantee it’s far worse when she’s absolutely adorable.

         “No, no, no,” I said quickly, “everyone has a bad day at some point, that’s just life’s way of… testing us; it’ll be okay. I’m sure there’s another way there, why don’t we just use another method of reaching your world? And besides, maybe we shouldn’t be in such a hurry to go to your homeland.”

         “Well *sniff*…if I can gather the necessary resources, I should be able to construct a smaller, lower quality, temporary connection between our worlds,” she replied, pausing to wipe the tears from her eyes. “But there’s no telling where in the other world we might end up if this second pathway works, so we should be prepared for anything.”

         “Ok, well at least that conflict is solved, or at least being solved,” I offered, “so I guess I should go try to get some sort of gear for the arrival and let you get the building materials?”

End of Chapter 1

Author's Note: I will be continuing this as a full series, book, etc, but may or may not be able to post it as soon as the next chapter is finished. TL;DR Version: I'll post the next part when I can.

Also an Author's Note: If you don't already know, 'nya', and all variations are meant to sound like a cat, and are references to Japanese pop culture/language