The Day Sally Jennings Slew a Vampire

"Do you think we'll ever slay a real vampire?" asked Jill.

It was a day in late March, and we were working out in a back room of the school gym.

"You just have to be patient," said a boy named Rick. "They keep telling us that we will kill vampires when we are good and ready."

"And when the vampires show up," said another boy that was practicing at aiming a crossbow with wooden stakes. "That's what bothers me. Do you think there might not really be any vampires to slay?"

Well, that stung a little bit. Ever since the previous fall semester when the Vampslayer club had been formed on New Paltz campus, people had been wondering about the guy who started it. The people who thought he was completely crazy had simply walked out of the room and wanted nothing more to do with the club. A few of us stayed behind, partly because we wanted so badly to believe in vampires. But as the months passed, and no vampires actually showed up, a sort of quiet skepticism had begun to permeate the ranks.

But I knew better.

You see, it had turned out that my own roommate, Alicia, was a vampire, which kind of sucked, because in the months since I started college, she had become my best friend in the whole world, and I couldn't bring myself to slay her. I kept it a secret from the rest of the club. Alicia, on the other hand, seemed to think that the club was silly, because none of them had discovered that she was a vampire. Well, I guess she had a point.

So I wanted to yell at the skeptical boys in that room, "Of course there are such things as vampires. I've been sharing a dorm room with one for the better part of seven months now." But I could never do that. Oh well. At least I knew that the vampires were out there somewhere.

After the practice ended, I walked back to my dorm and saw that spring was finally coming to New Paltz. The sun was out and even though there were still patches of snow on the ground, the air was warm and comfortable. Students were gathered around the campus in various cliques chatting and lauging. It made me want to put on some lighter clothes, so I ran all the way back to my dormroom where Alicia was sitting at her desk studying something. She smiled when I came in. "How was the practice?"

"Very good," I said. "You know," I said as I began looking through my closet for a springy outfit, "It's a beautiful day out there. I'm going to get some sun." I picked out an outfit and began to change.

Alicia watched me with some disbelief. "Don't you think it's a little early for the short shorts?"

"No way, I've been waiting all year to put these on, and since I'm not living with my parents anymore, I don't have to listen to my Mom telling me that I'm going to catch cold."

"Your Mom didn't know what she was talking about anyway there," Alicia admitted.

When I was all dressed and looked at mysef in the mirror, I decided that I looked extremely cute, if I do say so myself. I could tell by the look on Alicia's face that she thought so too. Then, I remembered that she was a vampire, so I felt a little bad. (Real vampires, by the way, can come out in daylight, but it leaves them extremely weak and uncomfortable.) "Alicia," I said gently putting an arm on her shoulder, "it must be too bad being a vampire. You don't get to enjoy the sunshine."

"Spare your sympathy," said Alicia with her usual cheerfulness. "You know that before I was a vampire, I was a natural red-head with freckles. So I never liked sunshine anyway."

There was a brief silence. Then, Alicia changed the subject. "Sally," she said in a more solemn voice. "Are you still serious about wanting to kill a vampire?"

You know, that was a good question. The whole thing had reached a point where I wasn't sure what I was serious about anymore. But I smiled and said, "Sure."

"Well," said Alicia. "You just might get your wish. Us vampires can sense when there's another one of us around, and it seems that a vampire has finally arrived on this campus."

"You mean it?"

"Sure do."

"Can you tell me where to find this vampire?"

She looked back at her books. "I guess I can use a break." She put on her sunglasses and we went out together.

As we walked across the campus, I heard several boys whistling and making other remarks. That gave me a sense of satisfaction. Alicia just rolled her eyes. Eventually, we reached another residence hall called Bouton. "It's in here," said Alicia with certainty. She sighed. "I wish I knew someone who lived in this building that could let us in."

"No need to worry about that," I said. That was the funny thing about Alicia. She was actually quite beautiful-- maybe even more beautiful then me, but she didn't always seem to realize it. I peeked through the entrance and saw that a student was in the inside lobby. The fact that it was a male studen was all I needed. I tapped on the glass door and smiled my prettiest smile. He opened the door, I said "thank you" in my sweetest voice", and Alicia and I strode into the hall.

Alicia walked through the corridors carefully, as if trying to decide where her feelings were the strongest. I followed her and hoped that she knew what she was doing. Eventually she stopped at a room on the first floor with a door that was open. "In there," she mouthed silently. I peeked in and saw a tall boy with long dark hair sitting by himself and listening to his stereo with headphones.

"Are you sure he's a vampire?" I asked.

Alicia nodded.

It was a pity because he actually looked like a pretty cool guy. I would definitely like to have gone out with him. Oh well.

Then Alicia led me out of Bouton Hall and explained that she would stay away from him as much as possible, because after all, he could sense her as easily as she could sense him.

When we got back to our room, she looked at me and said, "Do you still want to slay him?"

"Well, I guess I should talk to other members of the club, but it's what we do."

She thought a moment. "I have something that might help." She opened her bottom desk drawer and began rummaging around. "Here it is," she said both sadly and with some effort. I was a little surprised to see that it was a silver cross on a chain. "It was my Confirmation present. It used to be one of my favorite things in the world. Until I became a vampire. Now, I keep it in that drawer to avoid the nausea.

By now, she was holding it at arm's length from her body, but even so, I could see beads of sweat forming on her brow.

"Will you just take it, before I vomit?" she said impatiently.

I took it, but I had my own reasons for not trusting it. "You know," I said, "I never really liked religious things that much myself. It was just not my thing."

"Really?" said Alicia sadly. "Because one of the things that I do miss from before I became a vampire is going to church. I can't go anywhere near a church now without keeling over from all the crosses."

That made me feel kind of bad. "Maybe you should become Jewish or something."

That got a smile out of her. "Now, there's a thought. I've never heard of a vampire being done in by a six-pointed star." But then she got serious again. "Promise me you will wear that and only take it off for two reasons. Reason one: You're taking a shower. Reason two: You're hugging me."

I smiled at that. So I put the cross down on my bed just long enough to give her a hug. Then, I put the cross around my neck.

* * *

I was still wearing the cross that evening when I went back to Bouton Hall. After entering the same way, that I had the afternoon, I walked back to the room and saw that the door was still open, but there were two boys in the room. The vampire and a smaller nerdy-looking boy were sitting there drinking beer. I think it was the nerdy one who made a catcall when I walked by the door. Well, it was an opening

"Hello," I said with a smile. "I see you've got some beer bottles there. What's a girl got to do to get in on that?"

"Have legs like yours," said the nerdy boy.

The vampire looked a little more restrained. "Are you twenty-one?" he asked with a trace of sarcasm.

"Umm. . ." I pretended to be embarrassed. "Do I look like the kind of girl who would drink before she turned twenty-one?"

"Praise the Lord, yes!" said the nerd.

"You know," I said looking at him directly for the first time and speaking in a very friendly voice, "You're an obnoxious loser."

The nerd's face fell, but the vampire smiled. He opened his mini-fridge and handed me a bottle of beer. I could tell this was going to work just fine. "I'm Sally." I said holding out my hand.

"Tom," he said, "and this is my roommate, Randy.

"Great, Tom!" I took a seat on his bed and began drinking the beer.“Well,” said Randy. “I’m going to a party in Southside now. Want to come?”

“I’m not going,” said Tom.

Randy looked at me. “I’m not going either,” I said.

“Because Tom’s not going?” he mocked.

“Because you are,” I said in my sweetest and most polite voice.

That made him glare, but then he walked out closing the door behind him.

“Glad he’s gone,” said Tom.

“So am I,” I said taking another pull of my beer. “So,” I went on, “do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” he admitted, clearly aware what I was implying. “You got a boyfriend?”

“Nope,” I said with a smile. “Kind of convenient, eh?”

“I suppose.”

We talked for a while. I ended up telling him that I was a Freshman and that, like most Freshmen, I didn’t have a major yet although I wanted to major in something to do with English. I also told a little about my family. I didn’t mention that I was in that vampire slayer club. Eventually, I noticed that I was talking a lot more then he was.

“So what about you?” I asked. “What’s your family like?”

His face fell. “My parents were killed in an accident a few years ago.”

How sad! “I’m sorry. Are you on your own completely?”

“Well. . .not exactly. I have an Aunt who’s been taking care of me.”

I got the feeling that he was holding something back. Of course,that something could have been that he was a vampire. I decided to take a somewhat more drastic step. After all, I was almost on my third beer, I may as well. “Have you got any condoms?”

He seemed a little stunned. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused, but don’t do it again. Seriously. “ I leaned over and planted a close-mouthed kiss on his lips. Then I reached down and massaged his crotch, which was satisfyingly stiff. “We could have a quick one before your roommate gets back. , He looked at me with a blank expression. “Are you going to wear that?”

At first, I thought he meant my shirt. I thought it was a very cute top myself, but that didn’t matter. I slipped off my top, so that I just had a bra on. “Better?”

“Er. . .very nice, but I actually I meant that thing on your neck.”

Oh. The cross. That was another matter. I wanted to slap myself for not realizing that a vampire wouldn’t want to have sex with me if I was wearing it. In a way, that made the whole thing seem like a bad idea. “I never take this off,” I said out loud.

He looked at me skeptically. “Couldn’t you go to Confession or something afterwards?”

I laughed at that one. “Look, you’re very sweet, but maybe we shouldn’t do this, right now”

“All right,” he seemed agreeable. “It was your idea.”

“True, but I would like to see you again sometime. Say tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

* * *

When I got back our dorm that night, and told the story to Alicia, she shook her head with admiration. “You are one slutty girl,” she said. “Oh well. I’m glad you didn’t have sex without the cross, or you might be a vampire yourself now.”

“Yeah, but I think I’m going to have to break my promise to you and take it off tomorrow. There’s no other way of getting to him.”

Alicia frowned, but I could tell she realized I was right. “I’ll do it during daylight,” I promised. “With some backup.”

“I guess that’s the best plan,” Alicia admitted.

* * *

Of course getting that backup proved to be a little bit harder than I thought. When I called some other members of the club and told them that I had a real vampire, they sounded like they didn’t believe me, but I remembered that one of them lived in Bouton Hall. When I described Tom to him, he admitted that he had seen Tom around and wouldn’t be too surprised to learn that he was a vampire. I asked him to come back me up at Tom’s room, the next morning.

Early that morning, I walked straight to Bouton Hall. It was kind of quiet, but a few students were going in and out of the building. I recognized one of them as Randy. “Hey,” I said. “Where’s your roommate?”

“Still in bed,” he said.

“Great.” I moved in close to his pimply face. “Could you let me into your room? I want to give him a surprise.”

He smiled at me. “I might be able to do that.”

He led me back to the room and unlocked the door. “I have to go to class now.” He pecked me on the cheek, which was kind of gross, but I guess I had it coming to me. I went in and saw Tom stretched out on the bed in nothing but boxer shorts. For a minute, I tried not to concentrate on the toned chest which greeted me.

I smiled and said, “Hey!”

He opened his eyes and looked at me. “What the--?”

“It’s a beautiful morning!” I said enthusiastically. “Why stay in bed like this?” Then, I lowered my voice to a more serious level. “I’m not even wearing a cross.”

He blinked at me. “So you’re not,” he said with interest.

“Wanna make up for last night?”

“Well, I’m not sure this is the best time,” he said groggily.

“Oh, but it’s a great time,” I said. Then, I walked over to the window blind and opened the curtains so that sunlight poured right onto his bed.

“Hey, don’t do that,” he said.

“But you’re so handsome,” I protested. “I can’t leave you in the dark.” I tried to look seductive.

He glared at me for a few seconds. Then, he said, “Do you really want it bitch?”

“Absolutely.”

Then, he took a deep breath and grabbed me by the neck. For a minute, I thought he was going to choke me, but then he opened his mouth and, for the first time, I got scared because there were pointy fangs coming out of his gums. He was going to bite me.

There was a loud whiz. For a minute, we were both stunned. But then I saw that it was a wooden peg which had come flying from the doorway. It was Charles, my backup, holding a crossbow.

“You’re a lousy shot,” said Tom.

Charles looked a little insulted, but he smiled and said, “That doesn’t matter at this time of day.”

He was right. Tom was trapped. If he moved forward, Charles would shoot. If he moved back, he would be closer to the window, which meant more sunlight. For one long moment, he just stared at us.

Then, he fell to the floor and collapsed in a heap.

“Great, we got him,” said Charles rushing in.

Charles was enthusiastic about what happened next. He took out a wooden stake and a hammer. It took only a few whacks before the stake was through Tom’s heart. Then, there was a strange hissing noise as Tom’s beautiful body seemed to change into dust.

“We did it,” said Charles giving me a high-five. “We slew a real vampire.”

I accepted the high-five gingerly. “We did it.”

Somehow, I didn’t feel so great.