Woman Bites Dog

         Sarah looked out the front window, after hearing all the ruckus outside. There, right in front of her house was a large van with a TV antenna, bearing the words MAN BITES DOG in bold print on the sides, hood and swinging back doors. She had heard of the show last week, some reality show, one she would have no interest in. Well, almost no interest. Now they were outside, in her neighborhood, wait.... they were in her driveway. Oh no, she thought as she took a deep breath, they were coming up her driveway, approaching her front door. They couldn't possibly know about her past! How would they have found out? It had been years ago, in Kentucky, another lifetime ago for Sarah. Now they were ringing the doorbell! Could she hide and ignore it, should she answer it? Oh God! They were peering in the window, they knew she was home!

         Apprehensively, she opened the door, barely allowing the camera crew the ability to see her in the door frame. What was she going to do, how was she going to contain her emotions and not let them get their story?

         "Ma'am, can we have a moment of your time", the burly crew member asked, trying to get a better view into the house.

         "Ummm, of course, what do you want?"

         "We were in the area and we have gotten a little lost and well, to say the least we thought we might impose upon you to share your dinner. I assume that wonderful smell is coming from your house."

         "Oh, you just want dinner, really? I mean, sure. I was just making supper when I heard the commotion and saw you pull up. If you don't mind beans for dinner then you are more than welcome", Sarah said, straining a little, but maintaining her composure nonetheless.

         The crew went to wash up and then sat at the table awaiting dinner. They could almost taste the cornbread as Sarah pulled it from the oven. It wasn't an elaborate meal but, it was going to be welcome. They began discussing how the day was going and Sarah couldn't help but break into a sweat. They had heard of a man in the area who was perfect for the show. They hadn't found him today, but maybe tomorrow. He had changed his name several times, evading his past. They mentioned his name and Sarah hadn't a clue who he was. She spent the whole dinner wondering if they had heard of her and her crazy antics in the south. It was awful what she had done but she managed to separate herself from her past and now it may come crumbling down around her. She had to avoid any talk about the show, trying to stay away from her involvement, so her conversation centered around the lousy weather and the terrible construction on the highway. The crew didn't seem to notice as they finished the meal. Somehow, she managed not to get the attention of Man Bites Dog. As they left, she breathed a sigh of relief.

         Sarah couldn't believe they hadn't noticed the one trophy she kept from her youth.It had been over the stove,where she had served dinner... the tiara proclaiming her the "Queen of Dogs". She had won it by eating a disgraceful 100 hot dogs in 10 minutes at the Kentucky State Fair. The crew from that show would have made her a laughing stock, with the shameless way they tried to get people to repeat the feats of their youth. And she had avoided the humiliation.However, she did snicker to herself though, thinking of how calm she had remained, even while feeding them her famous Franks'n Beans.