My Paternal Core

When I was growing up I used to say I am not going to be like my father.  Yet here I stand, the spitting image of him, hobbies, mannerisms, and all.  We are both many faceted diamonds, some sides more rough than others.  We are separate, yet part of the same kindred that links us together.

As a young child I didn't get to see my father very much, the workaholic that he was.  He was a tanker driver from dawn to dusk six days a week, listening to the thundering engine that eventually stole a large portion of his hearing.  On the few occasions I went with him, I would sit in the cab and barely be able to see out of the truck's windshield as we rolled up the driveway of one farm after the other.  He would open the door and jump down, plug in a hose and pump out the milk and, with a full load, we would drive back to the factory where it would be processed.

Like most children, I developed a passion for reading.  Unlike most children, my father and I had a passion for reading western novels.  In my childish mind, my father's features imitated that of a lone sheriff facing the villain, the traditional man in black.  He could be a Texas Ranger on the hunt for a murderous renegade Indian.  But he never quite fit into the category of cowboy with his angry outbursts or his depressive moods that would surface from time to time.

As I grew older I realized that in many respects we were too much alike.  Each of us deviating between our own eccentricities, odd in our bitterness, tainted in our solitude.  Each of us sharing an aberration for the others' quirky habits and lack of a common religious ideology.  I have always loved him but I also know that hell would freeze over before I would ever hear those words uttered from his mouth to my ears.  We watched our idiosyncrasies clash and this knowledge created a mutual animosity between us that lasted for years.

It is only since I have lived abroad that we have begun to close the wide gap between us.  The birth of his grandson built a bridge that will remain standing beyond all that a father and daughter can share.  Over time, we have shared many strengths and weaknesses.  We understand that the family bond that has created and polished us shines brighter than the reflection of any diamond bought and sold.