Dear Muse: maybe I was wrong?

Dear you,

I feel you need no name, for you are you and you know who you are.

I do hope this letter finds you well.  I, myself, as I sit, overlooking fields of nature’s rich colours, writing this letter, find myself in somewhat of a quandary. 

The question is: whilst you may know who you are, do I?  Only recently have I come to realise that you are with me.  Your inspiration and positivity are guiding me through this wonderful life.  I’d be the first to admit that I have refused to believe in you or, perhaps, if I did believe in you, I thought very badly of you, indeed.  But, now, you see, I’m finding it difficult to ignore your guiding forces.  Unless of course, I have just happened to, be fortunate enough, to stumble upon Lady Luck herself.  However, I’m rather hoping it is you that I feel.

Let me explain: I feel it is important to do so whilst these fields are momentarily speckled with the brightness of the sunlight.  When I was young and, indeed, foolish, your presence was weak.  Your inspiration flickered dimly; almost non-existent.  I would lie awake at night as the shadows danced upon the walls with the wind and rain threatening to disturb the peace.  At this time I would ask, over and over, what it was that I had done wrong; what I had done to deserve this nothingness that fogged my mind.  It was this nothingness that made me believe, for definite, that I would not – no, could not – succeed.  I tried, oh how defiantly I tried, to over power the nothingness.  I could not even succeed in that!  Thus, amongst the shadows, I asked why.

Now I know.  Now that I feel you, I know the answer.  We were not ready!  We were not ready to collide, to work together.  I was not ready to understand the work and effort it took to experience the true wonder and true feeling of success.  For, through the shadows, I was succeeding: I just did not know it.  Back then I was unable to feel your inspiration.  Indeed, I was unaware of the plans you had laid out for me.  I was unaware of the labyrinth waiting ahead of me – right in front of me.

Now I see it.  Now I am in it.  At each and every turn I feel your presence; I feel your inspiration.  Even the dead ends that once frustrated me to the point of despair, now fill me with new hope and gratitude.

So, my quandary: is it truly you guiding me towards this wonder.  Are you guiding me through the pain, making me stronger at each turn?  Or am I just luckily enough to wade through the mud, only to slip and fall at any moment?

Please tell me you are there.  Please tell me that the you who needs no name is my beacon of hope and will lead me towards the centre of my labyrinth.

With love, hope and dedication,

Your student in life


Entry for the Writers Cramp contest 04/11/2013: A letter to my muse
Word count: 511