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Old family troubles drive a wedge between Daff and Jay. |
26 Surprises and Lullabies Night slipped against the skin of the bus, caressing it's occupants to sweet dreams like a tender lover's touch in the darkness. Some dreamed of the spotlight, the siren call of the screaming fans. Others dreamed of home, of loved ones past and present and the peace at the end of the long tour. One of those travelers did not dream, because he could not close his eyes. Jay lay awake in his bunk listening to the song of the night. The bus swayed gently like a mother rocking her sleeping children, but sleep was the farthest from his mind. The tour had only taken a two-week loop around the western coastal states before returning to San Francisco. When they left again on the next leg of their tour they would be spending two months in the southern states, and he would be bringing his cousin's cremated remains home to his family. Remy-Louis had died without identification so the family hadn't been contacted, but at least now Jay could bring him home to rest. Tonight he had other things on his mind. The tiny led light mounted by the wall was just enough to illuminate the photos he had pinned to the bottomside of Ollie's upper bunk, and he lay looking up at them and wondering what he would do once the tour ended in December. He was finding it harder to hide from Daff and Sara that all was not alright between them. It surprised him to realize that as much as he loved Sara, he was becoming reluctant to spend time in her arms because her heart wasn't his alone. It hurt too much to share her, no matter how much he enjoyed their time together. He was glad that their relationship and the recent trouble in Chicago had had no adverse effects on his close friendship with Daffy. They were still as close and easy as any two brothers could be. His eyes shifted to the most recent picture he had added, one of a laughing Kate with Alex in her arms. The turbulence inside him calmed when he thought of her and her soon-to-be-born child. The obstetrician had confirmed that they were both healthy and that she would soon give birth to a son. Jay was looking forward to seeing them again and secretly hoped she would have the baby in the next few days while they were back home... the next leg of their tour would keep them away from home for over two months and he didn't want her to give birth to his tiny cousin while he was out on the road. She had picked out a name for the baby already - Lucas, in memory of his father - and he was pleased and honored she had chosen it. He wished he could give little Lucas his own last name, but no doubt Kate would name him Murray. He traced the curve of her face in the picture, wishing he could sort out his feelings for her but looking forward to seeing her again. His eyes still on her image, he reached out and turned out the tiny light. Dawn and San Mateo weren't far off and his body was desperate for sleep. Almost immediately, his phone rang next to his head, nearly scaring him out of his bunk onto the floor. He snatched up the device and stabbed the blinking answer key as the others stirred and grumbled in their bunks. "Jay! Thank goodness you answered - I'm so scared!" Kate's panicked voice sent an electric shock through his system and he bolted upright, smacking his head hard. Ollie cursed him from the darkness above. "Kate, what's wrong? Where's Sara?" he tried to ask quietly, but reached out and gave his brother a none-too-gentle shove with his foot to get his attention. The two of them listened intently to the phone. "Sara and Alex went to dinner with her dad and Chrissie and ended up staying the night with them. Rowena had an art showing on the other side of town and said she'd stay the night at her and Mickey's apartment" she answered, frantic with fear. "I was sleeping, but woke up with a terrible pain in my stomach. The bed is soaked - Jay, I think my water's broke. I'm afraid I'm having the baby and I'm all alone" they could hear the terror in her voice. Jay hit the button for the speaker - the others were all awake now anyway. "Kate, try to hang on. We're on our way" he looked out the window. "I can see the city limits already. Breathe, sweetie, we'll be with you soon." He looked around. Daffy was speed-dialing the Castillos, as they were the closest and could get into the house to be with her right away. Mickey was on the phone with Rowena, letting her know what was going on. Suddenly Kate cried out in pain on the phone, marking the start of another contraction. He signaled Jerry to keep track of the time. Ollie was on his own cell, calling for an ambulance to meet them at the house. "Hang in there, bébé" Jay's cajun accent only emerged during moments of extreme stress. "Breathe with me" he coaxed her. "That's it, you're doing great, chéri. There's no need to be afraid - we're here with you, so to speak, and the Castillos are already on their way," he got the thumbs-up from Daff "there are paramedics coming and we should be there within about ten minutes. Just keep breathing slowly and everything will be alright." Daff hung up after a second hurried phone call and spoke up so his sister could hear. "Katie love, I called Sara and she's on her way home with Brian and Chrissie. Just hang on a little bit longer hon, we'll all be with you soon." He tried to be comforting when he was white as a sheet with worry for her. There was a commotion on the other end of the line. "Oh, ow, I think there's somebody in the house" Kate moaned through the pain. They could hear the sounds of hurried feet and Spanish voices in the background. The whole group breathed a collective sigh of relief - there wasn't anyone they trusted in a crisis more than their adoptive parents. The calm, no-nonsense voice of Marcela could be heard by all in the background. "Buenos dÃas, cariña. I see you've gotten off to an early start this morning. Enrique is collecting a bit of hot water and spare blankets so we can make you more comfortable. Mis hijos will be here shortly and we'll have you all sorted out by then, don't worry pequeña." "Turn the speaker on, sweetheart, so Mama Marcela can hear us" Jay said, and waited for the beep. "Thanks for coming so fast, Mama. We're less than ten minutes out. We're watching the clock, so when the next contraction comes we can tell you how far apart they are." "Bueno, Arrendajo, bueno. Everything will be fine" she assured the young mother in her most motherly voice. Kate was terrified. The pains in her womb and lower back were frightening, and she was in a strange house in a strange city about to give birth without benefit of a doctor or hospital help. She was still curled in a fetal position under her blanket in the soaked bed, afraid to move. The kind older woman who had come into the room had a calming effect wherever she went, and the hand she placed on Kate's forehead was cool and comforting. She clutched desperately to that soothing touch and took courage from it. "Don't worry, hijita. Everything will be fine. Mi nieto is eager to be born this morning - he must take after his uncles, who have no patience in the important things in life" the older woman winked conspiratively. "Mi Nieto?" Kate wrinkled her brow. Her family had a bit of the Irish, but the Castillos spoke Spanish from the Old Country and Jay sometimes mixed Cajun into his speech - although much less frequently than Remy-Louis had done. "My grandson" Marcela smiled gently. "Mi Patito made us so proud and honored when he took our name years ago. Enrique and I hope you don't mind that we think of you as one of our own. We're so happy that you've come home, cariña" she patted the young woman's shoulder. "Come now, let's see what we have here and get you comfortable for when your niño arrives." she folded back the blanket, exposing the young woman's extended belly and legs. She could see the rippling muscles under the skin that signaled an oncoming contraction, but what worried her was the amount of blood she could see in the amniotic fluids soaking the matress. Enrique arrived in the room just as another contraction took hold. "Alright then, just breathe, Cariña. That's good. How much time, mis hijos?" she asked in the direction of the phone. "Three minutes short, Mrs. C" Jerry called out on the phone. "Alright then" Marcela took charge. "Roll onto the blankets there, Piqueña. Enrique, give me one of those" she took a blanket and spread it out over the near side of the bed. "Now scootch back onto this side, and we'll get you cleaned up a bit before the others arrive. We need some warm water and a cloth" she turned to her husband, who had a basin of steaming water ready and handed her a washcloth. He stood holding the basin for her with his eyes on the window so the young mother wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. Marcela could see that with every contraction more blood oozed forth, but there wasn't quite so much that she was over-worried. When she was done she turned to her husband. "Gracias, mi corazón. Now we need a sheet for la niña until the others arrive" she spread the soft sheet over the young woman to keep her warm until they could change the bedding. A slamming door heralded the arrival of family. Sara rushed in, saw the terrified look in Kate's eyes and immediately climbed up into the corner of the bed to be out of the way but still able to hold her friend's hand and give her comfort. She held on tight, patting the white knuckles squeezing her own and making soothing noises. Brian and Chrissie looked in from the doorway. "Is there anything you need Marcela?" Chrissie asked. She smiled warmly at the young mother. "Congratulations, honey, you're going to be a mother today." Marcela turned. "Something to wrap the little one in when he arrives, perhaps. We'll save the beautiful blanket you made for after his bath" she smiled warmly at Katie. A couple more contractions came and went as they waited. Brian went into the kitchen to make coffee and he and Enrique began putting together breakfast for the coming horde. Chrissie sat on the corner of the bed and rubbed Kate's feet for her. They kept the phone line open for the boys, who counted down the dwindling minutes between contractions and tried to keep her spirits up as they sped through the dark streets to make it home in time. The tour bus pulled up right in front of the house to drop them off and they flooded in the front door en-masse. The others stayed in the kitchen with the men while Daff and Jay hurried into Ollie's old room where Kate was staying. Daffy kissed his sister's forehead, but it was Jay's hand she reached for when he came in. She loved her brother, but in her vulnerable state she felt a bit uncomfortable with him being in the room when she was about to give birth. Jay reminded her a bit of Remy-Louis and had told her he wanted to help her raise her child, so she felt more at ease with him at the moment, holding on tightly so he couldn't escape. Daff could see that there were more people in the room than were needed, so he ruffled his sister's hair affectionately before heading back into the other room. He asked Ari to dig into the linen closet upstairs for extra sheets and blankets, then signaling Ollie to follow him he headed downstairs to wrestle a spare matress from storage and haul it upstairs. From the sounds of things his nephew would be born before they finished, but at least they could have the matress ready for when things settled down to make mother and child more comfortable. The paramedics finally arrived - at the last possible moment. Chrissie and Marcela moved into the kitchen to give them room, but Jay and Sara couldn't be budged - in part because Kate had a death grip on both of them and refused to let go. Less than five minutes after the ambulance arrived tiny Lucas filled his lungs for the first time and let out with a lusty cry that was echoed by cheers from those gathered throughout the house. The first rays of dawn flooded the room as if even the heavens welcomed him into the world. That evening, after the house had settled down and almost everyone had gone home for the night, Jay sat in the rocking chair they had carried into Kate's room with the newborn in the crook of his arm. Man and infant contemplated one another solemnly in the last of the fading light. Tiny fingers were wrapped tightly around one of his own, almost as tightly as around his heart. This new miracle was no more his child than young Alex, but oh, how he wished he were. From the moment of his birth Lucas had become the most important person in his life. Lucas Jean-Baptiste Fournier. He had been stunned, struck dumb when Kate had given the baby's full name to the paramedic for his birth record. Where in the world had she even learned his given name? He never went by any other name than Jay - hadn't since he had first headed out on the road with a guitar on his back. The fact that she had given the baby his family's name instead of her own had been like the last knockout punch that had left him on his knees beside the bed, unaware that he had tears on his cheeks until she had reached over and wiped them away for him. She was sleeping peacefully in the bed now. He had been unwilling to hand Lucas over to anyone else or to put him down when she had grown too tired to stay up anymore, but she had only smiled and let him rock the baby to sleep while they talked a bit. It was peaceful there with the infant in his arms and the woman sleeping within reach. He lifted the little bundle to his shoulder and closed his eyes for just a moment, breathing in the peace and contentment. Stars sparkled in the velvet night as the excitement of the day and lack of sleep caught up with him and the soft breath on his shoulder soothed him to sleep. 27 Heart Discord Sara prowled the house, restless. She had spent most of the two weeks they'd been home cleaning the entire house from top to bottom. When she wasn't cleaning she hunted up recipes, hoping to find foods to tempt Kate's nervous stomach without giving Rowena heartburn or causing Alex's colic to act up. Two pregnant women and a month-old baby were more responsibility than she had expected to have to bear, and the stress was beginning to fray her nerves. Now that Kate's baby had been born she was thrilled, but with the men back in the house for a week she was feeling even more overwhelmed. There were more people coming and going, more people at the table for meals, and a huge pile of laundry that the boys had carried home with them. The guys kept Alex occupied for part of the day and helped tire the baby out so he would sleep longer through the night, but he still demanded a great deal of her time, bless him. At night Daffy came to her, insatiably hungry for her body and the peace he found in her arms. At least most of the guys had gone to their own homes, 'though Mickey and Rowena spent part of every day at the house and she had made sure Ollie, who lived alone within walking distance, knew there was always room for him at the table for meals. She continued down the stairs to the entertainment room as the stars faded from the sky and the first blush of dawn's early light began to tease the horizon. There were abandoned bags and boxes of munchies scattered like an exploded convenience store over every possible surface - thank goodness there hadn't been a food fight so she didn't have to vacuum first thing in the morning. She hadn't slept well last night and was in no mood to clean crumbs out of the plush area rug there. Jay hadn't come to bed at all last night. Now that she thought about it, he had been spending less time with her since about the time they had laid over in Chicago and Katie had joined them. At first she had thought he was being his usual gentleman self and giving her and Daff a little time together now that the difficult pregnancy was over and they could be intimate again. Then they had found out that Kate was carrying his cousin's child and he had had to deal with the news of his family's loss and his sense of responsability to the expectant mother and child. Daff had told her that Jay needed time to himself before he could take comfort from them, and they just had to wait for him to come back out of his shell. Sara had gone looking for Jay first thing when she had woken in the cold pre-dawn without him at her back. She had found him, sound asleep, with the newborn held safe against his shoulder as he reclined in the rocker in Kate's room. She hadn't had the heart to disturb them, but the sight had troubled her on some level she didn't understand. He had been a doting uncle to Alex from the moment of his birth and often shared her son's afternoon naps, claiming the time was conductive to music composition. But what she had seen was a man bonding with his own newly-born son - not a guy who had fallen asleep with his cousin on his shoulder. She had seen him often snoozing with Alex on his chest in just the same way, but somehow this was different, and she felt uneasy. The fact that he had slept the night away in Kate's room, albeit in a chair, also bothered her. He was hers, and she didn't want to share him with anyone, even in such a harmless way. Arms filled with bags and boxes she trudged upstairs to the kitchen, heavy-hearted. He loved her, she knew he did. There was nothing to worry about - was there? Daff had said he took family very seriously, surely that's all it was. Coffee brewed and strong green tea steeped while she fried bacon and sausages for breakfast. Pancake batter sat waiting its turn next to the stove as she whisked a large carton of eggs for scrambling. The oven dinged quietly, signaling that the cranberry and blueberry muffins were ready when Daff came down the stairs to wrap her in a good-morning hug and kiss, his second-favorite way to start the day. "I woke up all by myself and missed you" he growled into her neck the way he knew she loved. "Did you and Jay get up early to spend a little time together? I'm sorry I've been stealing all your time lately, sweetheart." He leaned back against the island counter so she could continue her breakfast preparations. "I'm not looking forward to not seeing you and our duckling for two months, but it's not right that I monopolize your time. Do you want me to babysit for a while so you two can have some alone time? Alex and I could visit Auntie Kate and make friends with Lucas" he grinned good-naturedly. Sara shrugged a shoulder dismissively. "You'll have to pry Lucas out of his uncle's cold, dead hands first. Looks like he spent the night rocking him in your sister's room - that's where I found him this morning" she waved a hand in the general direction of Kate's room, but didn't look up from her cooking. Daff raised a questioning eyebrow at her tone. He wrapped her up in another hug, pinning her restlessly in place. "He's going to be pretty attatched to that little kid - you saw his face when she gave Lucas his name. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore, hon, just that we have to share him with someone new now. I'll sit with Katie and the boys after breakfast and you can make him suffer for not paying enough attention to you" he playfully pinched her bottom and headed cheerfully upstairs to fetch Alex, who was already making demanding noises in the nursery. After breakfast Jay went upstairs for a shower. Daffy had elbowed him in the ribs as he passed with his son in the crook of his arm and commented that he looked like he could use a shower and a shave, which Jay had found odd. Looking in the mirror he decided maybe his brother had a point. He wasn't quite willing to give up his mustache, but maybe he could do with a bit of a shave. He shrugged obligingly and headed for the shower. Coming out of the bathroom with only a few stray drops of water covering him, he was startled to see Sara, leaning against the bedroom door wearing only a come-on smile. Her belly had toned back to its normal pre-pregnancy flatness and she was as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. He stood rooted to the spot as she stalked him across the floor to lick the drops of water from his skin. He closed his eyes helplessly as her wicked mouth traveled down his chest, nipped at the edge of his belly button, then nearly blew his mind as she chased the last stray drops from his manhood. He could never resist her when she set out to seduce him, and she knew it. All he could do was bury his hands in her hair while she teased, nibbled and suckled until he was trembling with need, on the very edge of climax and very near to begging. With a low laugh Sara rose up and led him to the bed. He was powerless to do more than follow meekly. "I don't want to hurt you" he said shakily as he took her in his arms on the silken sheets. "It's only been a few weeks since Alex was born, are you sure it's not too soon?" Despite his words he couldn't keep his hands off of her. She laughed again. "Jay, he'll be two months old next week. This won't be the first time I've made love since he was born - you've been in the bed with us - why haven't you wanted me?" she wrapped her slim fingers around him snugly. He groaned at the sensation. "I thought you two should have some time to yourselves. I've wanted you, believe me I have." She gripped him tighter and whispered against his lips "Then have me, silly. You won't break me." They kissed hungrily as he slipped into the heaven of her body. Later that day the house seemed full of womenfolk. Feeling overwhelmed, the menfolk present slipped out quietly, one by one, and escaped next door to the Castillos' house next door for coffee. Enrique poured them each a cup, enjoying a rare moment with his sons and Brian, whom he viewed as an honerary brother. Daff could see that Jay was troubled in his mind. He had seen Sara's radiant face earlier, so if his brother wasn't happy he wanted to know what was going on. Reaching out casually, he tagged his moping bandmate on the shoulder. "What's got you so glum then? It wasn't that unpleasant a shower, was it?" he narrowed his eyes warningly. Jay buried his hands in his shoulder-length hair agitatedly. "No, the shower was - fine. I've just got other things on my mind right now I don't want to talk about." He knew it was a futile attempt, but he was miserable with his thoughts and didn't want to hurt anyone by bringing them out into the open. Enrique laid a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "There is nothing that can't be discussed in this house. No one is here but sus hermanos, Arrandajo. What troubles your soul?" "You've had something eating at you for a few months now," Daff pinned him with leveled eyes. "We've given you all the time you're gonna get to brood over it. Come clean." He looked around at the men willing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him and gave in with a heavy sigh. "I love your wife, but sharing her when I know she would be just as happy if it was only you and her is slowly killing me. I need someone of my own, who could be my wife. Last night, holding Lucas and watching him sleep, I finally realized I want my own family. I love yours, always will, but I need my own. I think you need not to have to share yours, as generous as you've been about it." He desperately needed Daff to understand. "It hurts to hold her knowing I don't hold all of her, and if I don't back off I'm going to end up hurting her too. That's the last thing I want to do." Daff gave him an exasperated look. "Do you think I couldn't see that? You bonehead. If you think backing away isn't going to hurt her, you're dumber than I thought" he ruffled his own hair in agitation. "She does too love you, you idiot. She was upset this morning because you weren't in bed and she found you in Katie's room with Lucas. I'm not sure I like you spending the night in my sister's room, by the way" he scowled fiercely. Jay held up a hand to calm him down. "I only meant to rock him to sleep, but he just looked at me with those eyes, only hours old but like he could see my soul, and I was lost. Even when he fell asleep I just wanted to hold him a little longer, then I fell asleep" he sighed and rested his chin on his arms glumly. "I wish he was mine" he admitted in a quiet voice. Brian passed a plate of sweets across the table. "We know, son. I was too ignorant in my own youth to be the kind of father Sara needed me to be, but I remember what it feels like to hold that new life and lose yourself in the stars in their eyes. I'm trying to make up for lost time by being a better grandparent to Alex. In a way Lucas is yours, as you were the closest to your cousin and I'm sure he would be pleased to know you're there for his son. Lucas will need you as he grows up. As for Sara, I'll ask you to be honest with my daughter. She's got a loving heart, but it's tender" he cautioned. Ollie got up to pour another round of coffee. "How do you feel about this, Guitar Man? It's your wife, after all" he nudged Daff's shoulder gently in passing. "I've gotten used to seeing your ugly mug over her shoulder" he offered Jay a teasing half-smile. "I'll admit it's nice when I have her to myself, but you've never been in the way. In fact I've sometimes wondered why you haven't been more forward - she loved you first, after all, and she wears your ring too." Jay warmed his hands on the coffee mug, watching the steam rise from the cup. "She loves you more, and we both know it. I know I'm being ungrateful, but I want someone to look at me as if I'm their world - the way she looks at you. I never realized I wanted love and family of my own until you shared yours with me. I owe you more than I can repay, but I feel like I should give them back to you." Daff smacked him in the back of the head in frustration. "We don't keep score here, you idiot." He glared at his best friend for a moment, totally frustrated. "You'll make up your own mind eventually - you always do - but we're talking to Sara before we head out on the road again." "Not yet" Jay shook his head quickly. "I'm still trying to sort things out in my own head first, which is why I haven't said anything before this." He grimaced, frustrated with the situation. "Kate coming to live with us and especially Lucas being born have changed things. Until now I thought I might sort things out and everything would be okay, but after the past day or so I don't know what I want, let alone how to explain it to anyone. I don't want to upset her and then head out on the road again while she sits at home and worries. She's already got enough on her mind with us being gone, Alex to raise, plus Kate, Lucas and Rowena that she feels responsible for. I don't want to add to all that." "Hey now" Mickey spoke up from the other side of the table. "Rowena's pregnancy has been easy so far and she's well able to take care of herself. She's mostly staying at the house so I don't worry about her being by herself and she wanted to help Sara, who had a rough pregnancy. I've got an apointment shortly to look at a few houses in the neighborhood, if anybody wants to come along. I'm hoping to find a place, something like what Ollie has, nearby so the girls can be within walking distance but we aren't trying to crowd three families into one big house, as large as it is" he flashed a grin at Daffy. "We apreciate your hospitality - and Sara's cooking - but eventually we'll all want our own space again, and our little one-bedroom flat is way too small to raise a baby in. I want to surprise Roe with a place she can make her own with room enough for a studio so she can work at home. The neighborhood where she has her studio now is slowly getting more dangerous and I'd feel better if she were here nearby." "You just want to get out of having to pose for that nude painting she's threatening to make you to do" Jay grinned at him teasingly. "All right, lets go look at houses then. It sounds like fun." He was grateful for the change of subject that got him out of the difficult discussion for a while. "At least it beats listening to pregnancy war stories for a few hours" Brian chimed in as they headed out the door. The rest of the men heartily agreed with him. The guys stood in the open-air courtyard of a beautiful stone-and-stucco Mediterranean style home watching Mickey shake hands with the real-estate agent. The house was U-shaped, but the thick wall and arches of a loggia ran between the two front ends of the building, enclosing the courtyard and making it a more intimate place to hang out. They were gathered by the outdoor fireplace built into the roomy oasis waiting to hear the outcome of the negotiations. The agent strolled out the gate whistling gaily and Mickey came to join them, pale of face but carrying a new set of keys. "I bought it... I can't believe I bought it. I must be out of my mind. Am I out of my mind?" he asked, slightly wild-eyed. "Our apartment is smaller than the garage here - what are we going to do with such a huge house?" He felt a bit shaky and sank down into one of the wooden chairs by the fireplace. "He's babbling" Daffy grinned at the others and shook his head. "Mickey, this house is bigger than mine is. If you were looking to talk Rowena out of that nude painting, I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." The piano man paled even more and dropped his head between his knees. "I don't even remember what the rest of the house looks like - once the realtor mentioned that the second garage next to the office could be made into a roomy studio I think I blacked out for a bit." He suddenly sat up straight, in a panic. "Somebody tell me I didn't agree to pay list price for this colossal flophouse - there's room for ten people to live here!" he waved his hands over his head a bit frantically. Brian rested a calming hand on his shoulder and pushed his head back down between his knees. "I'm afraid you did, son, but don't worry. The list price was actually pretty reasonable for the size of the house and the economy at the moment - it's really worth a lot more than you're paying for it. You kids will have plenty of room to raise a big family here and your lovely lady will be safe at home and near family while she's working instead of in a dangerous part of town all on her own." He patted Mickey's shoulder in a fatherly way as the man sat up again. "You did good, son. This place will make you a hero for years to come. You've got a good eye" he looked around in admiration. So did Mickey. "I thought Roe might like to grow some things here. Our apartment is tiny and doesn't get much light for growing plants, but she's always wanted an herb bed, and flowers where she could sit and drink tea. I don't care what the rest of the house looks like, as long as there's room for a baby grand in there somewhere. I just want her to be happy and safe." He started searching his pockets. "I should call her so she can come look at it - the realtor said we can move in today if we want, but she'll probably want to paint and decorate the place first." "Don't trouble yourself," Jay told him. "Sara called looking for us while you were signing the papers and we told her to bring the ladies and find us here. We didn't tell her what's going on, so you can spring the surprise." While the others explored the house Jay sat in the kitchen looking idly through the photos and details for the other properties they had looked over earlier in the day. He didn't know why he was interested - he already had a home for as long as he wanted it - but it was something to do while the guys deviled Mickey and the girls made decorating plans. One of the properties caught his eye and he was studying the portfolio more closely when Kate sat down at the little breakfast table with Lucas in her arms. "What are you looking at?" she asked him, passing the baby automatically as she leaned in for a closer look. She couldn't be in the same room with the bassist without him swiping her son out of her arms in short order, she'd already learned. "These are a few of the properties in the neighborhood for sale - we looked at a couple of them, but as soon as Mickey saw this place the realtor sold him on the idea of turning the garage into a studio and it was all over" he said. "We didn't get to look at this one, but I kind of like the look of it for some reason." Kate looked at the pictures, trying to match the rooms to the floorplan drawing. "Ooh, I like the big, bright kitchen. And look at the bookshelves in the study!" she cooed longingly. "They go all the way to the ceiling, and those windows in the curved wall let in so much light...." She sighed wistfully and smiled when he raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "I've always wished I had an open home like this with a big kitchen to play in and a cozy room with lots of space for books. I'd own thousands if I could, I'm afraid, and I've always wanted to try my hand at writing one myself one day." She sighed again, regretfully. "There was never room or money for book collecting in Chicago, and no time to learn to write, either. My family thought it a waste of time in any case" she caressed the dark silk of her son's baby hair, embarrassed. "You can have as many books as you like now, or write your own if you want to." Jay looked over the portfolio casually, thoughts moving in several directions at once. "What kind of book do you want to write?" he gave her that killer smile that melted her insides. "Ah," she tried to gather her scattered thoughts and untie her tongue. "Romance, I think. I used to make up stories in my head all the time when I was younger. I think it was a defensive response when I was little. I used to hide in my closet whenever our father would get drunk or angry - or both - and beat on Declan and Mum. It happened quite a lot when we were little and got worse after she died. He never raised his hand to me, but I was terrified he would go too far one day and kill Declan - Daffy" she blushed pinkly at the name. "I don't think he much minds if you call him Declan" Jay assured her. Lucas waved his arms and cooed, making him smile at the baby. "Why did you give Lucas my name, by the way? Fournier I can understand - it was Remy's name too - but where did you even hear that my name is Jean-Baptiste? I haven't used it in years and I doubt anyone besides Daff even knows it." He looked at her curiously. Kate smiled knowingly. "Remy told me about his family, and you. He really looked up to you, you know. He wished he had the courage to stand up to his family and follow in your footsteps. We talked about getting married and raising a family, and he really wanted to name a son after you. When I found out I was going to have a boy I didn't consider any other names - Lucas for your father Luc, Jean-Baptiste for you, and Fournier for Remy himself. He didn't want to give his own name to a son before he had earned it, he said. I just did what he wanted - besides, you've been a rock to lean on ever since we met. I would have been lost without you." Jay lowered his eyes and snuggled the baby in his arms. "I would have helped you if only for Remy's sake, but I've come to like you a great deal in the short time we've known each other. Now that the little guy's here, I'm totally gone on him - I wish he was mine. I never realized I wanted a family until I had a taste of your brother's, and then I met you and Lucas." He looked back up at her. "I hope you'll let me be a part of your lives more than just in name. It would mean a great deal to me if I could be a sort of father figure for Lucas." She laid a hand on his strong arm and smiled. "You already are." |