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by Gypsy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1927353
If God watches TV...
God's Reality Television





God loves to watch "Planet Earth." It runs seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year, no reruns or commercial breaks. The script and players change with the passage of time but never the plot. If it were not for his sense of humor and divine tolerance, God would have pulled the plug on mankind long ago.

    "Hey, Gabriel," God shouted as he focused on the show, "come up hither."

    Gabriel excused himself from his breakfast table and joined the Alpha and the Omega.  "Heavenly Father, I am here," Gabriel said with a reverent bow.

    "Get a load of their reaction to water on Mars," God said, pointing to the high-definition vision center stage. "Take five, Gabe, have some manna and honey and check this out. Man has been looking through their telescopes at Mars for a long time, and now they finally have the confidence to say that Mars has an ice cap. What a hoot!"

    Gabriel partook of the snack bowl, dipping the heavenly manna in golden honey.

    "Can you believe it? It boggles the mind, Gabriel."

    "It should come as no surprise, Father."

    God turned to the archangel and asked, "Why is that?"

    Gabriel picked his teeth.

    "Oh, did I forget to tell you the honey has locusts in it? Those little legs always get caught in my teeth."

    Gabriel nodded as he examined the black leg between his fingers. "Remember when you sent me to Earth to check on the progress of your creation?"

    "Of course I remember, but it's been a long day. You know, Gabriel, a day is like..."

    "I know. A day is like a thousand years, but it wasn't that long ago."

    God's patience wore thinner. "Refresh my memory."

    "When I returned, you asked me if mankind appreciated the bountiful earth you gave them."

    "Oh yeah, that rings a bell."

    "Do you remember what I told you?"

    "I said . . . it's been a really long day."

    "Well, as you will recall, you asked me if your creation were enjoying what you gave them...the four seasons, the pristine oceans, lakes, rivers, the beautiful wildflowers and glorious trees?'"

    God nodded and twisted on of the tines of his snow-white beard.

    "Is it coming back to you now?" Gabriel asked.

    "Excuse me!" God clamored, sending two nearby cherubim reeling backward in tight somersaults across golden tiles. "Must I remind you that patience is not only a virtue but also an endangered commodity," God replied, giving his archangel a shot of His Holy glare.

    "Forgive me, Father," Gabriel deferred. "Well, I told you that man was destoying their environment, and you asked me how they could do such a thing." Gabriel quickly got to the point. "I told you about them dumping human and chemical wastes in the oceans and rivers; they also cut down their trees and ploughed under the wild flowers and native plants in order to plant grass. And your response had been, 'Grass! Are they growing grass to feed livestock?'"

    "I replied to you, ' No, they are planting grass seed and laying sod, and fertilizing and watering it so it grows tall enough to mow. Then they bag the grass clipping and hire someone to haul it to a landfill. They also dug up the native plants and trees, and replaced them with exotic plants that struggle to survive in hostile environments. Then they go through the same ritual of fertilizing and watering these plants and trees just to keep them alive.' Then you asked me if they ate those foreign plants, and I shook my head. 'What about the trees?' you asked. 'Are they using the leaves to mulch around their plants?' I shook my head again and reported that they rake the leaves, bag them, and hire someone to haul them to the landfill. Then they buy mulch from the store and spread it around their plants.' "

    God shook his head as the memory surfaced. "Growing grass for disposal. It boggles the mind."

    "It is hard to comprehend," Gabriel replied.

    God reached for his snack. "Well, I guess free will had a bigger downside than I ever imagined."

    "Who knew?" Gabriel teased.

    "Oh look! The head of NASA is preparing to make a statement to the press about their plans to travel to Mars."

    "Will the people of Earth believe it's possible to send men to Mars?"

    "Apparently, man will believe most anything. After all, they still believe man went to the moon in 1969 and planted a flag on the lunar surface. It's been forty years since the hoax, and they still believe it, even though no telescope or satellite camera has been able to locate that flag."

    "What does it all mean? Is man not capable of discerning the truth?"

    "No, it's not that simple. I wish it were, Gabriel."

    "Is it because they follow bad leaders and false prophets?"

    God nodded his luminescent head. "That's part of it. They have been following false prophets and corrupt leaders since the serpent tempted Eve in the Garden, telling her she could be like God if she ate the forbidden fruit. Man believes what he wants to believe, and most of all, he believes in his self-importance. Remember when they considered the possibility that I was dead? How I laughed for days when I heard that pearl of wisdom. "What was that German thinker's name?"

    "Nietzche"

    "Bless you."

    Gabriel blushed, and God boasted, "I get you every time."

    "And it's always funny."

    God leaned forward to the holographic screen. "Now the contention is that I never existed, that the universe came into existence following a big bang, and life evolved from a primordial ball of energy, from one-celled organisms to man. They still haven't been able to explain the origin of life or what caused the big bang,  or, for that matter, why there is existence in the first place."

    "Why doesn't man understand the Science of God?"

    "The arrogance of Pride, my archangel, is what binds them to their ignorance. It never ceases to amuse and amaze me. They know so much, and the more they learn, the more they realize how much they don't know. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. They have known about gravity, the weakest of the four universal forces, for over four hundred years, yet they still don't understand the purpose of gravity or how it works. Magnetism presents them with the same dilemma. For hundreds of years the force of magnetism could not be explained by men of science. And even now, while they have theorized that magnetic and electrostatic forces are carried by an invisible, mass-less entity they call "photons," they cannot determine what produces the photons in the magnet."

    "Will they ever understand the workings of the universe?" Gabriel asked.

    "They are closer to an understanding than ever before. They have identified the existence of the four forces of the universe, but they do not understand the connection between physics and metaphysics. They recently "discovered" the strongest of these forces and the fields of energy they produce, and have appropriately named it a "strong nuclear force." You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized that it was the force that holds all matter together."

    "I don't understand. Why wouldn't these intelligent men see the connection between science and the Creator?"

    "Once again, dear Gabriel, pride is a stumbling block for some and a millstone for others. These men have been educated by a system that disregards my existence and considers my Word a collection of myths and fairy tales. For many of these men, science will be the savior of their planet and the solar system. And once man believes something, his pride makes it almost impossible to admit the error of his original judgment, and even when he comes face-to-face with truth, he'll either ignore it or be spooked by it.

    "That's what happened when I sent them my Son. Even though the prophet Isaiah had prophesied His first coming hundreds of years in advance, when Jesus read from the sacred scroll in the synagogue and declared that He had fulfilled Isaiah's prophesy of the coming of Messiah, the Pharisees didn't believe Him because he didn't fit the image of their belief. They were looking for a king to rid them of the Romans, not the sacrificial lamb foretold in the prophesies. So they sought to kill my Son. It's always been man's nature to destroy what he doesn't understand."

    "Why did they hate Jesus, Father?"

    "Because they loved their kingdom more than His."

    Gabriel stood. "I need to get back to work. The souls are getting restless. Father, why don't you just tell your creation that Wisdom created matter and energy?"

    "And spoil my fun up here? Get behind me party-pooper!

    "Tomorrow I'll give them the God Particle to play with. Bring wine, Gabby, if you please. This will be a hoot!"

   

           

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