Things in life that you know are True

Things in life that you know are true

1)  When you get an unexpected flow of money, there will be someone or something there to snatch it away.  Your vehicle of choice, a bill that comes out of nowhere, Revenue Canada, your kids, your deadbeat relatives, and many other culprits that have noticed the invisible sign above your head that says, "I have money."

2)  Your car is like a kid.  If one thing goes wrong than you can bet that something else is going to go too.  Anyone who has had a kid with a runny nose knows that there ia a better chance of getting hit by lightning than the kid not getting something more.  It's going to happen.

3)  If you're doing something where you can't easily reach the phone without performing a gymnastic feat worthy of Olympic gold, the phone will ring.  It knows the distance you are away from it.  Scary, isn't it?

4)  Always plan ahead.  There is a reason why you try out hair styles before graduation and weddings, why you get tanned weeks before you go away, and why instructions come with items.  Why?  Because otherwise you're going to look like a freak of nature but on the plus side some reality show might sign you.  As for the instructions, unless it is something that a 2 year old could put together, don't build it.  Why?  Because you'll end up in the local emergency room with an injury that is going to make the staff on duty's day or you'll discover the local gossip queen who will more than ensure that you will never, ever live it down.

5)  Some people get away with things that the rest of us don't.  A stress reducer technique was invented for the rest of us:  Visualization.  You may be beneath them but you also get the best view when the day comes for them to crash and burn.  Are we all feeling better now?

6)  You're stuck with your family.  Your options include:  Moving away, being more annoying than they are so they'll move away, become a celebrity--thereby having security deal with it, lose them in the wild, or hire a hitman.  The only downside about the hitman is that you might end up in jail and unless you have a family who will disown you for that, they'll visit you every week and you can't run away.

7)  You won't like everyone and everyone won't like you.  Of course, if you come into money or become famous, you will have several people that couldn't stand you come back into your life like the tide.  These people become your slaves.

8)  Incompetence is everywhere.  Some of us are more adept to finding it than others.  Some of us have figured out that incompetence can equal doing less work.

9)  Everyone has a life but some of us appear more interesting than we actually are.  Check out the tabloids sometimes.  The next time you are in line, waiting like cattle, pick one up and read it.  Celebrities do what we do but blow lots of money doing it and they pay more taxes than we do.  Now don't we feel special?  Of course it never hurts to check them out just in case you're in there.  You could be famous and not even know it(heck, you could sue them for using your image without paying you).

10)  "In every life, some rain must fall."  The only problem is that you don't know if it's a quick shower or a flood,  If you're the quick shower, you'll be dry soon.  If you're the flood person, you better own insurance, a boat, and know how to swim.