Shoplifting for Mom

DEAR ABBY: I am 13 and in the eight grade. I love my mom very much, but lately I’m worried about the things she makes me do for her. She takes me to the mall and makes me steal clothes, jewelry and household items. I don’t want to disappoint my mom, but I’m afraid I’ll get caught and get in trouble with the law. What should I do? … SHOPLIFTING FOR MOM
DEAR SHOPLIFTING: What your mother is doing is a form of child abuse. You are a smart girl, and can have a bright future. It will, however, become much harder for you if you are arrested for shoplifting. That is why I am urging you to talk about this with a counselor or trusted teacher at school. You need more help right now than anyone can give you in a letter. Please don’t put it off because I am worried about you.

DEAR SHOPLIFTING FOR MOM: You ungrateful little bitch! Your mother carried you for nine months. She fed you (most of the time), nurtured you and is now teaching you a trade that you will be able to use for a lifetime. Your mother’s issues with drugs do not interfere…much, with your training for your future career. She may have passed out in the changing room that time, but that turned out to be a diversion to allow you to get out of the store with mommies new Tupperware and delicates. Hell, she was tired. She was up for 3 days! If you tell anyone of this you may not only veer from your chosen earnings path, but also your relationship with mommy. If you piss her off, she could trade you for that bamboo furniture that she’s had her good eye on. You would be handed over to a Vietnamese rice farmer. You would work 15 hours a day in the paddies that swarm with mosquitoes, snakes and recently released Asian inmates. So count your blessings and hone your trade. Mommy will be dead before you’re 15 and you will know how to take care of yourself and your crack baby brother…thanks only to the courageous giving of mom. Hope I helped.

Uncle Dick