THE ONE SONG – All is one (part 2)

Chapter ten
Henry's Promise

Henry breathes in the fresh air slowly. He always stops by here on
his way home. He enjoys watching the sunset as he listens to the
children's laughter. As usual, he drinks in the sight of the
swimmers and the surfers. Their joy and cheer tug at his heart.

He has promised his wife numerous times that he will never drink
again. In fact, each time in the pub, he had made a nuisance of
himself. In fact, he was the laughing stock. But then, at that time,
he did not know. He thought he was the centre of attention. He
thought he was popular. Everybody laughed whenever he cracked some
jokes. Little did he know that they were actually laughing at him.
Now, he knows. He will never allow such events to happen again.

Erica, his wife and his two children, George and Kate are always
overjoyed to see him home. Henry smells dinner even before he
reaches the door. There are always the same running footsteps and
then, two small bodies will fling themselves at him.

"Daddy! Daddy!" two little voices echo. Four little limbs embrace
him.

"Oh, my little sweeties!" Henry is overwhelmed and tears run down
his cheeks.

Henry holds each one by the hand and leads them towards the dining
table. Erica is always already seated at the table happily watching
them. After settling George and Kate in their seats, Henry sits in
his usual place.

"Oh, this is good. It smells nice. Mmm..," Henry puts a spoonful of food
into his mouth as his wife looks on cheerfully. Both children
clap their hands.

***

Henry wakes up with a start. He is sweating profusely. It always
ends this way. He could almost feel the food slides down his throat.
But no, it can never be. Always, this is the way it ends. He has
been having the same dream every night. How he wishes he is with his
family again. How he wishes he has stopped going to the pub. How he
wishes he had not lost his cool.

Now, here he is. He is all alone with his dreams. At least he still
has his dreams. Each night, he enjoys himself with his family again
and again. This has been going on for the past ten years. In his
dreams, Erica does not grow old. His children do not grow any
bigger, either. Everything is the same. Exactly the same. That is
his wish. Therefore, his dream.

"Your wish is my command," a voice says.

"Huh? Are you God? Are you back again?" Henry looks around
frantically.

"I've been here all the while. I've never been away. Your dreams are
your reality," the voice replies.

"But why does it always stop at the same place, then?" Henry retorts
unbelievingly.

"Because you're not brave enough to venture further. You stop, so
your dream stops," the voice continues.

"But that's the last meal I had with my family. After that, I went
to the pub. I don't wish to go to the pub again. I've promised Erica
not to go to the pub again," Henry protests.

"Be brave. Face your blackest moment fearlessly. Especially your
blackest moment. You've been evading it for years. You've been
repeating your life for years. Face it and change your life.
Confront it and your life will change. Believe me," the voice
persuades.

"I'm scared. I don't want to go to the pub. I don't want to kill the
man again. I don't want to be caught by the police again. I don't
want to be thrown into prison again. That's why I stop the dream,
each time, every time," Henry is frustrated by now.

"Conquer your fear. There is nothing to fear. It is just a dream.
Treat it as a dream. Continue your journey without fear. Put in
love, instead. Change the fear ingredient into love. Try it," the
soothing voice continues.

"Now? Or the next time when I dream?" Henry asks sceptically.

"Whenever you are ready, I am ready," the voice offers.

Henry wrestles within himself for a long time. This voice, this God,
can He be trusted? Continue the dream? Why not? What is there to
lose? If he goes to the pub, he goes to the pub! He must conquer his
fear! He must! He must! He must!

***

Henry breathes in the fresh air slowly. He always stops by here on
his way home. He enjoys watching the sunset as he listens to the
children's laughter. As usual, he drinks in the sight of the
swimmers and the surfers. Their joy and cheer tug at his heart.

He has promised his wife numerous times that he will never drink
again. In fact, each time in the pub, he had made a nuisance of
himself. In fact, he was the laughing stock. But then, at that time,
he did not know. He thought he was the centre of attention. He
thought he was popular. Everybody laughed whenever he cracked some
jokes. Little did he know that they were actually laughing at him.
Now, he knows. He will never allow such events to happen again.

Erica, his wife and his two children, George and Kate are always
overjoyed to see him home. Henry smells dinner even before he
reaches the door. There are always the same running footsteps and
then, two small bodies will fling themselves at him.

"Daddy! Daddy!" two little voices echo. Four little limbs embrace
him.

"Oh, my little sweeties!" Henry is overwhelmed and tears run down
his cheeks.

Henry holds each one by the hand and leads them towards the dining
table. Erica is always already seated at the table happily watching
them. After settling George and Kate in their seats, Henry sits in
his usual place.

"Oh, this is good. It smells nice. Mmm..," Henry puts a spoonful of food
into his mouth as his wife looks on cheerfully. Both the children
clap their hands.

The telephone rings. Erica picks it up, speaks into it for a few
minutes and her face is crestfallen. Her husband's buddies are
calling him to the pub again.

"Is it Vincent? Tell him I'll meet him there," Henry announces from
the table.

Erica speaks into the telephone again and hangs up. She returns to
the table and continues dinner. The mood at the table has changed.
The children feel it, too. Their chattering and laughter have
stopped, too. Everybody just continue to eat silently. The taste and
smell of the food have gone. They are just to satisfy the stomach.
No more, no less.

***

The pub is crowded as usual. The moment the door swings open, you
are greeted by the smoke and the revelry. It is a joyous place.
Everybody is joyful. There is laughter and music all over. There is
plenty of movement, too. Everybody seems to be moving. There are
some still figures, hidden deep within the depths of cushions or in
corners. They cannot be seen. They are not important.

Henry strolls leisurely towards his buddies, greeting all left and
right like a film star. He loves the atmosphere. It is like a
neighbourhood. Everybody is friendly. There are no strangers here.
You may not know them. But when you wave at them, they wave back at
you. This is why he loves this place. This is why he is here night
after night.

Today, there is a stranger among his buddies. He has a fresh scar on
his forehead. His buddies mumble a name. Henry cannot catch it
because of the din. He just smiles, shakes hands and lets out some
laughter as usual. Soon, he is settled and soon, starts the usual
rounds of beer. Everything is as usual. Just relax, drink, joke,
smile, laugh and look around.

Everything seems to be spinning. The man's face. The one with the
scar. He is saying something. Henry cannot hear. He just nods his
head and smiles. The man's face again. His face is twisted this
time. He smashes a bottle on the table. He is holding the broken
bottle. He is going to hit Henry with the bottle! Henry's buddies
jump on him and are holding him down. Henry feels a surge in him.
The feeling tells him to flee.

Henry finds himself running. He cannot remember anything. He
continues running. He can see his house in the distance. He runs
straight to the front door. He is fumbling with the key. The door
suddenly opens. Erica appears from behind the door. She deftly pulls
him into the house and slams the door shut.

"What happened?" Erica asks when Henry is safely in bed.

"I don't know. Everything happens so fast," Henry still feels groggy.

"Vincent called. He said a man wanted to kill you. The man said you
were rude. You laughed at him. He is a tycoon's son. He dislikes
insults," Erica explains.

"Is he dead?" Henry suddenly jumps up.

"No, the police took him away. Vincent said not to worry. The man's
father shall take care of matters. He will be alright," Erica
reassures.

"He's not dead?!" Henry is still puzzled.

"No, why should he? He wants to kill you. You could have been
killed. He's fine. He could be charged. But then, Vincent said his
tycoon father shall take care of everything," Erica comforts her
husband.

"He's not dead. He's not dead," Henry utters over and over.

"No," Erica pats her husband's shoulder.

"Then, then… I'm not going to prison," Henry jumps up again.

"No, why should you? You were attacked!" Erica is surprised.

"Oh, alright, alright. I'm tired. Let me sleep," Henry surrenders.

***

"So you see, you can change your reality. What you thought is your
reality is an illusion. You can make your illusion real. By changing
your thoughts, your reality is changed. By changing your reality,
everything is changed," the voice is back.

"Where am I?" Henry looks around anxiously. He heaves a sigh of
relief as he sees his wife asleep beside him.

"Face your fear. Change your reality. Your reality is just an
illusion. Be brave. Look fear in the eye," the voice continues.

"Yes, yes, I will. Always. I won't go to the pub anymore. It's a
place where I lose all control. It has an illusion of joy and peace.
I thought it has joy and peace," Henry reminisces.

"All places are the same places. The reality is within you. Change
your thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality. Your illusions
become real. They are your experiences. But you can change them
whenever you are ready," the voice echoes in Henry's mind.

"I'm glad. I'm glad I'm home again. I promise, I promise I'll never
go to the pub again, Erica," Henry mutters as he falls asleep again.

Chapter eleven
I Am Home Again
As usual, Graeme Tan is rocking in his favourite chair under the
tree. He is almost asleep when he hears light footsteps behind him.
He recognises this sound. Especially the shashaying of the flapping
material in the breeze.

"Dear, it's time for your medication," Mrs. Tan's voice reaches his
ears.

"Thank you. I was enjoying the scenery too much. I almost fell
asleep," Graeme Tan takes the tablets and the glass of water. He
smiles gently at Mrs. Tan.

"Yes, things haven't changed much around here. Seems like yesterday
when you came home 40 years ago. The only changes are, Jaeme is now
the village doctor and Saeme is the village school teacher. They
also have given us five lovely grandchildren," Mrs. Tan sighs
contentedly.

"Do you blame me for vanishing on long trips so frequently during
those years?" Graeme Tan looks enquiringly at his wife.

"No, not really. I understand your quest. Anyway, Jaeme and Saeme
kept me very busy. I had no time to think. The only thing is, others
were not so understanding," Mrs. Tan reminisces.

"Why didn't you ask me why I stopped travelling?" Graeme Tan looks
wonderingly at his wife.

"I am glad you stopped. As long as you are here, I am happy," Mrs
Tan answers simply.

"Yes, I was a selfish man. I am lucky to have an understanding and
responsible wife like you. Can't blame others for not being
understanding," Graeme Tan caresses his wife's wrinkled hands.

"It's getting dark. Let's go home before we are infested by
mosquitoes," Mrs. Tan helps Graeme Tan up from the rocking chair.

***

The moon is exceptionally round and bright tonight. The air is very
still. Everything seems to be waiting for something. Even the
insects are waiting. The nocturnal animals, too.

"I must tell you about Soona. I should have told you earlier. Too
many things happened after my return. I was so enthusiastic to
resume my role as breadwinner after my irresponsible behaviour that
I have forgotten to relate the events of my last trip," Graeme Tan
whispers huskily to his sleepy wife.

"You are tired. Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Mrs. Tan asks with
concern as she covers her husband's hands with the blanket.

"No, I must tell you now. I have procrastinated. Too long. Perhaps I
was too tired after the last journey home. But that is no excuse,"
Graeme Tan tries to sit up again.

"Alright, go on. I'm listening," Mrs. Tan is apprehensive but she
helps her husband to sit up.

"I found God. I found God on my last trip. So, I stopped
travelling," Graeme Tan beams at his wife.

"Are you running a fever?" Mrs. Tan touches her husband's forehead.

"Listen, I am telling you the truth," Graeme Tan puts a finger on
his wife's lips.

"Alright, alright. Go on," Mrs. Tan sits down resignedly.

"Do you know God? You thought you know God! I thought I didn't know
God! Or I thought I know God! Or I thought I know I should know when
I see God! Or I thought I would know if I see God! Or I should know
if someone tells me who is God!" Graeme Tan sounds excited.

"Sh… Sh…" Mrs. Tan stands up and hushes her animated husband.

"Listen. You are not listening. I know, you think I am mad or I am
going mad. I am not. You understand? Do you understand? Now, just
sit down and listen," Graeme Tan grimaces at his poor wife.

"At least speak calmly. You will wake up the kids," Mrs. Tan
admonishes.

"Alright, alright, I promise. Now, sit down. I will speak softly and
slowly," Graeme Tan puts his fore finger to his own lips.

Mrs. Tan shakes her head as she sits down beside the bed again. She
puts both her hands on her lap to show her submission.

She listens intently as Graeme Tan relates the events of his last
trip. She feels herself being transported back in time to that
mountain. She experiences the pain and struggle as her husband
climbs. She feels like fainting as her husband lays unconscious.

She is exhilarated as her husband understands Soona's explanation.
The power and the knowledge fill her body, mind and soul. Now she
remembers the force of the universe. Now she feels the might of the
truth. It is immeasurable. It is vast. It is limitless. It has no
end. It has no beginning. It is forever and ever. And forever more.
Without end.

"Dear, do you understand now?" Graeme Tan's voice is full of
anxiety.

"Yes, yes, I understand now," Mrs. Tan smiles with tears flowing
down her craggy cheeks.

"I have finished my tale. You were so still just now. I was afraid
you were too shocked by my tale," Graeme Tan caresses his wife's
crumply fingers.

"It is beautiful, so beautiful. I understand. I understand now how
you felt during that trip 40 years ago. I feel everything. I
experience everything. I understand now. Thank you," Mrs. Tan holds
her husband's hands tight.

"I am glad. Now, I can rest," Graeme Tan slides under the blanket
and prepares for sleep.

"Goodnight," Mrs. Tan kisses her husband's forehead.

"Goodnight. When you see me again, we shall be young and we shall
never part. I'm going home again," Graeme Tan announces softly
before he closes his eyes.

***

Mrs. Tan is supported by Jaeme and Saeme. Jaeme's wife is standing
with her son and daughter on their right hand side. Saeme's husband
and their three children are standing behind them. They are before
the grave of Graeme Tan.

It has been two years since Graeme Tan passed away that fateful night.
Mrs. Tan will always remember that night. That was the most unusual
night. Tonight, she must tell her children what happened that night.
She has procrastinated, too.

Chapter twelve
Koonii’s Sacrifice
Koonii lays hunched in his rickety bed. He has not moved for hours.
But his mind is racing. There are many questions plaguing him. Too
many. Why? Why? Why is his family so poor? Why is he not good
looking? Why is his sister, Sulii a cripple? Gallii has assisted in
helping him forgive and forget. The problem is, the moment he steps
into the classroom, the jeering and snide remarks begin.

Then, his anger mounts again and again. He has tried controlling his
temper. He has not gotten into any fight since the talk with Gallii.
But others are still talking non-stop about him and his family.
Every angle he turns, he can see the smirk on their faces. He has
tried wiping out every image from his mind. He has tried
concentrating on his studies. But he can still hear the laughter.
And the way they shy away whenever he comes near.

He does not know how much longer he can take it. In fact, he wants
sorely to slap every one of those simpering faces. Instead, he has
meditated as encouraged by Gallii. The more he meditates, the more
they poke fun at him. They are relentless. Why? Why? Why me?

He stiffens as he hears the door creaks open. The light sunshine
creeps in for a while and vanishes just as quickly as the door
closes. Alternating light and heavy footsteps indicates his sister,
Sulii.

"Here, you must be hungry," Kooni looks up to see Sulii holding out
a bowl of porridge towards him.

"Thanks, you need not bring me my lunch. I should have taken it for
myself," Kooni indicates his sister's problem leg.

"It's already past lunch time. I've reheated the porridge for you. I
thought you must be very busy with your school work. So I bring your
lunch for you," the bed creaks as Sulii sits on it.

"I was just thinking about something. I didn't realise it's past
lunch time. I'm sorry to make you worry," Koonii looks embarrassed.

"What are you thinking about? Perhaps I can help," Sulii offers as
her hands reach for Koonii's school books.

"It's not those. It's something else. Never mind, I'll solve it
myself," Koonii gulps down some porridge hurriedly.

"I know, since you stop fighting with the neighbourhood boys, your
studies have improved. Father is very pleased," Sulii beams at her
brother.

"But they are still taunting me!" Koonii suddenly blurts out. He
regrets it but it is too late.

"You mean, those boys?" Sulii looks kindly at him.

"No, everyone, all of them. I fought with the boys. But the girls
too made fun of us. I want to slap them all," Koonii shows his tight
fist.

"What's there for them to gossip about?" Sulii asks wonderingly.

"Lots. We are poor. You are crippled. I am not good looking. Mother
is old and wrinkled. Father is not smart. Our house is dilapidated.
That's why I study hard. At least, I am smarter than most of them,"
Koonii's eyes flash with anger.

"Most of the families in the neighbourhood are poor. Most of their
parents are old, too. I don't see any difference between us and
them," Sulii tries to comfort her brother.

"But they don't have a crippled sister!" Koonii almost spits at his
sister.

"There is no guilt in being poor, old, ugly or crippled, Koonii.
There is only guilt in thinking that being poor, old, ugly or
crippled is blameworthy. It is not easy to be poor, old, ugly or
crippled," Sulii replies soothingly.

Koonii looks at Sulii with shock. He suddenly seems to hear Galii's
voice. This is not Sulii speaking. It is Gallii! Sulii does not have
the intelligence to speak thus!

"Are you Sulii?" Koonii looks suspiciously at his sister.

"Yes, I'm Sulii. Don't I look like Sulii?" his sister gives him an
astonished look.

"But… but you sounded like somebody else. You don't normally speak
like this," Kooni is mumbling confusedly.

"I'm Sulii and I'm talking to you. I've been watching you. I know
there is much turmoil in you. You must understand this. If not, you
will constantly be struggling within yourself. Relax and listen to
me," Sulii offers.

"It is a sacrifice to be poor, old, ugly or crippled. These are the
ones who have sacrificed the most. Do not look at such beings with
pity or disdain. Look on them with gratitude and blessings. Wish
them well. Somebody has to take up such bodies. If not them, then
you," Sulii admonishes wisely.

"It must be difficult for you to be crippled. I never think of it
this way. I am always angry. At least, I am not crippled," Koonii
brushes away his tears.

"I'm used to it. I've accepted it since I knew this is what I have
to live with. Happiness is to accept everything including all the
negative remarks by others. Wish them well for they are ignorant.
Bless them for they will understand sooner or later. One day, they
will thank you for your sacrifice," Sulii predicts.

"I know. I understand now. I'll accept all these as you have
accepted them. No wonder you are always so cheerful and happy. I
have always wondered why. Thanks for sharing your thoughts," Koonii
slurps the remains from the bowl.

Chapter thirteen
The Enemy Is Us
Scenario: During World War Two

In the camp of Batallion Six

Sergeant: Get ready, guys! We are moving in tonight! We must
move before the enemy is ready! Check your equipment. Hausen, get
ready to sneak near the enemy camp and report the situation to me
immediately!

Hausen: Yes, sir!

Hausen runs towards the direction of the enemy camp. The other
soldiers move quickly to pack their gear and check their ammunition,
helping each other to load their backpack. Every move is carried out
in perfect order.

Near the enemy camp

Hausen can see fire light before he sees any other movement. He
knows he is approaching the enemy camp. He can see their flag
flapping in the night breeze. It is the enemy's flag. He moves
silently and hides behind the thick tree trunks as he slithers along
like a snake.

He is now 100 metres from the enemy camp. He sees two sentries near
to where he is. He scans the area for other sentries. He sees
another two walking on his left hand side and another two on his
right side. The enemy is prepared and they are very careful. Bad
news!

Suddenly, a soldier of authority approaches and both the sentries on
his left saluted silently. Hausen puts on his binoculars to focus on
the soldiers' faces. He lets out a sharp breath!

After calming himself, Hausen slithers backwards till he is in the
thick of the jungle again. Then he stands and runs, and runs, and
runs back to his camp. He is running so fast that he almost
collapses.

In the camp of Batallion Six Again

Sergeant: Good, bring Hausen in when he is rested!

Hausen enters with a pale face and gasping breath.

Hausen: Sergeant, Sergeant, the enemy is us, the enemy is us!!

Sergeant: Shut up, man! Are you crazy, man!? Tell me, what did
you see?!

Hausen: The enemy! The enemy! They are us! I saw you and I saw
everybody over there! They are us! Stop! Stop! We must not kill
ourselves! We are they and they are us!
Sergeant: Send him away! Fool! Derrick, go and check out the
enemy! Now!

Derrick runs towards the direction of the enemy camp.

Near the enemy camp

After a while, Derrick can see the fire light before he sees any
other movement. He knows he is approaching the enemy camp. He can
see their flag flapping in the night breeze. It is the enemy's flag.
He moves silently and hides behind the thick tree trunks as he
slithers along like a snake.

He is now 100 metres from the enemy camp. He sees two sentries near
to where he is. He scans the area for other sentries. He sees
another two walking on his left hand side and another two on his
right side. The enemy is prepared and they are very careful. Bad
news!

Suddenly, a soldier of authority approaches and both the sentries on
his left saluted silently. Derrick puts on his binoculars to focus
on the soldiers' faces. He lets out a sharp breath!

After calming himself, Derrick slithers backwards till he is in the
thick of the jungle again. Then he stands and runs, and runs, and
runs back to his camp. He is running so fast that he almost
collapses.

In the camp of Batallion Six Again

Sergeant: Good, bring Derrick in when he is rested!

Derrick enters with a pale face and gasping breath.

Derrick: Sergeant, Sergeant, the enemy is us, the enemy is
us!!

Sergeant: Shut up, man! Are you crazy, man!? Tell me, what did
you see?!

Derrick: The enemy! The enemy! They are us! I saw you and I
saw everybody over there! They are us! Stop! Stop! We must not kill
ourselves! We are they and they are us!

Sergeant: Send him away! Fool! Ivan, go and check out the
enemy! Now!

Ivan runs towards the direction of the enemy camp.

Near the enemy camp

After a while, Ivan can see the fire light before he sees any other
movement. He knows he is approaching the enemy camp. He can see
their flag flapping in the night breeze. It is the enemy's flag. He
moves silently and hides behind the thick tree trunks as he slithers
along like a snake.

He is now 100 metres from the enemy camp. He sees two sentries near
to where he is. He scans the area for other sentries. He sees
another two walking on his left hand side and another two on his
right side. The enemy is prepared and they are very careful. Bad
news!

Suddenly, a soldier of authority approaches and both the sentries on
his left saluted silently. Ivan puts on his binoculars to focus on
the soldiers' faces. He lets out a sharp breath!

After calming himself, Ivan slithers backwards till he is in the
thick of the jungle again. Then he stands and runs, and runs, and
runs back to his camp. He is running so fast that he almost
collapses.

In the camp of Batallion Six Again

Sergeant: Good, bring Ivan in when he is rested!

Ivan enters with a pale face and gasping breath.

Ivan: Sergeant, Sergeant, the enemy is us, the enemy is us!!

Sergeant: Shut up, man! Are you crazy, man!? Tell me, what did
you see?!

Ivan: The enemy! The enemy! They are us! I saw you and I saw
everybody over there! They are us! Stop! Stop! We must not kill
ourselves! We are they and they are us!

Sergeant: Send him away! Fools! How many fools do I have in my
camp?!

The sergeant runs towards the direction of the enemy camp.

Near the enemy camp

After a while, the sergeant can see the fire light before he sees
any other movement. He knows he is approaching the enemy camp. He
can see their flag flapping in the night breeze. It is the enemy's
flag. He moves silently and hides behind the thick tree trunks as he
slithers along like a snake.

He is now 100 metres from the enemy camp. He sees two sentries near
to where he is. He scans the area for other sentries. He sees
another two walking on his left hand side and another two on his
right side. The enemy is prepared and they are very careful. Bad
news!

Suddenly, a soldier of authority approaches and both the sentries on
his left saluted silently. The sergeant puts on his binoculars to
focus on the soldiers' faces. He lets out a sharp breath!

After calming himself, the sergeant slithers backwards till he is in
the thick of the jungle again. Then he stands and runs, and runs,
and runs back to his camp. He is running so fast that he almost
collapses.

In the camp of Batallion Six Again

The sergeant's face is very pale and he is gasping for breath.

Sergeant: The enemy is us, the enemy is us!! The enemy! The
enemy! They are us! I saw me and I saw everybody over there! They
are us! Stop! Stop! We must not kill ourselves! We are they and they
are us!


Chapter fourteen
The Mirror

The shouting is still going on outside. Maryanne and her sister,
Joanne are huddled in bed. They are hidden under the thick blanket
and they have stuffed their pillows against their ears. This does
not snuff out the commotion, nevertheless. Worst, sounds of smashing
plates against walls and floors started. It is going to be a long
day.

Since Maryanne's mother found out about Aunty Claire, all hell has
broken loose. The once tranquil house is no more. There were
shouting matches as soon as her father steps into the house. There
were occasions when her father did not come home for days and weeks.

The problem is, the moment he appears, the shouting starts, almost
always ending with throwing of things and the quick exit of her
father. Maryanne and her sister had a hard time helping their mother
to clean up after each fight.

Today, however, something different is happening outside. The
shouting has been going on and on for far too long. What is the
matter? Her father should have been gone long ago. But, no, the
fighting continues. Joanne starts crying and Maryanne tries to
comfort her.

Suddenly, their room door opens. Both the girls stiffen and hold
their breath. The footsteps indicate that it is their mother. Both
girls heave a sigh of relief. They emerge from the blanket and sit
up in bed as their mother sits down heavily. Her face is drawn and
she has aged a lot these past few weeks. Maryanne feels deep sadness
in her heart.

"I am going to grandma's house for a few days. You two be good while
I'm away. Father is bringing Aunty Claire over after dinner. Now,
you two be good and go help clear up downstairs," Connie said
wearily as drops of tears flow down her cheek.

"Yes, mom," both girls answer dutifully and creep downstairs.

***

And so, mother shifts out and Aunty Claire shifts in. The shouting
is no more. The girls are glad about this. But things are not the
same anymore. Mother and Aunty Claire are not the same. Oh, yes,
Aunty Claire is very kind and even coaches them after school. But it
is just not the same. Mother is mother, Aunty Claire is Aunty Claire.

***

It is a fine sunny day. It rained last night which makes it an even
better day. The air is cool and the wind is cool. Maryanne, Joanne
and Aunty Claire are sitting in the garden sipping lemonade and
eating cakes. Aunty Claire is a good cook, better than mother. There
is a twinge in Maryanne's heart. How can she be so unfaithful to
mother? The dark thought vanishes immediately when Aunty Claire
touches her cheek. Maryanne smiles gratefully at Aunty Claire.

At that moment, father comes home. He is holding a bunch of flowers
and he is smiling. Father is always smiling these days. Maryanne
does not remember her father smiling even before the fights with
mother. The only happy time they had was when they visited the old
castle long ago. Yes, long ago. It seems like another life time.
Maryanne suddenly realises that their parents' relationship had
started deteriorating long ago.

She had been blind. Why hadn't she noticed it before? Maybe because
her parents kept it from them. Especially the boys. Now, the boys
are in college. They have not seen Aunty Claire yet. In fact, nobody
has informed them about the abrupt change in their lives. Now, what
is father saying? No, it must be a mistake. No, Joanne is smiling
and Aunty Claire is kissing both her cheeks. There is even a twinkle
in father's eyes.

"Yes, from now on, Aunty Claire is mom," father repeats and smiles
fondly at the three of them.

"Mom?" Maryanne is confused.

"Yes," Aunty Claire kisses Maryanne's cheeks as well.

"No, no," Maryanne brushes away Aunty Claire's face and runs into
the house.

***

As usual, Maryanne buries herself in her thick blanket and cries her
heart out. She cries and cries till she cannot cry anymore. Lying
there in deep remorse, she hears someone calling her.

"Go away," Maryanne hissed.

"Maryanne!" the voice is louder this time. Maryanne looks up. It is
not father's voice. It is not Joanne's voice. And it is not Aunty
Claire's voice, either. And the voice is from inside the room. But
she has locked the door. She throws back the blanket and looks
around wildly.

"Who are you? Where are you?" Maryanne looks at the opened window,
the curtains flapping in the wind.

"Here, come here," the voice comes from the mirror. An image is
forming.

Maryanne climbs out of bed hurriedly and rushes towards the mirror.
She sees herself, no, not herself but an adult Maryanne.

"It's you, what do you want?" Maryanne suddenly remembers the
corridor of mirrors in the castle. She sits down before her vanity
table.

"You promised to be positive, do you remember?" adult Maryanne asks
smilingly.

"But mom is gone. Now Aunty Claire becomes mom. That means mom will
not come back," Maryanne mutters miserably.

"Are you happy with Aunty Claire?" the mirror asks again.

"Yes, I love Aunty Claire. Father is happy. Joanne loves her, too.
But she is not mom," Maryanne's confusion returns.

"See, I am mom. See, I am Aunty Claire. See, I am Maryanne," the
images in the mirror changes and rotates and changes and rotates non-
stop.

"Can you see? Can you see?" the mirror keeps urging as Maryanne
stares. She closes her eyes as she feels dizzy.

"What is this? What is the meaning of this?" Maryanne opens her eyes
and the images are still changing and rotating.

"I am mom. I am Aunty Claire. I am Maryanne. We are the same, be positive" the
images stop at Aunty Claire. Aunty Claire smiles lovingly at her.

"Be positive," Maryanne repeats and assures herself and looks at Aunty Claire
but now mom is there.

"Be happy, we are the same, always and forever," adult Maryanne
appears and waves at her. The images disappear and she sees herself
in the mirror.

She looks deep into the mirror, then she smiles and waves back. Yes,
she understands now. Mom is Aunty Claire. Aunty Claire is mom.
Forever and ever. She runs out of her room happily and looks for
Aunty Claire.

Chapter fifteen
Ye Are A Part Of Me
It is drizzling. You can hear the wind singing as the gentle breeze
caresses you, envelopes you and leaves you, then returns and caresses you,
envelopes you and leaves you again and again and again. As the
raindrops increase, the wind blows harder and a piece of the
mountain falls off.

The mountain has been the shadow to many hills, rivers and valleys.
It has been the home to many trees, plants and foliage. It has been
the shelter to many animals, humans and birds. It is also the shield
to many sand, stones, rocks and earth.

Now, this piece of the mountain falls off. It has left its source.
As it falls, it breaks into many smaller pieces. Some become bigger
rocks. Some become smaller rocks. Some become pebbles. Some become
bigger stones. Some become smaller stones. Some become sand. This
piece of the mountain has separated into many parts.

Some of the bigger rocks become smaller shelters to humans, animals
and birds like the mountain. They are very happy. "See, even though
we have fallen from the mountain, we are still useful." These bigger
rocks rejoice.

However, some of the bigger rocks kill some animals, humans and
birds upon impact of the fall. They are very depressed. "I don't
mean to take any lives. It is just an accident. I am so sorry."
Later, they also become shelters to humans, animals and birds but
these bigger rocks live with regret for the rest of their lives.

Some of the smaller rocks become roads, walkways and drains. They
are very contented. "See, even though we have fallen from the
mountain, we are still useful." These smaller rocks are thankful.

Meanwhile, some of the smaller rocks fall on some animals, humans
and birds and injure them. They feel very sorrowful. "Oh, oh, I
don't mean to hurt you. Oh, oh, I am so sorry you have to be in pain
because of me. Oh, do forgive me." These smaller rocks continue to
moan till the minor wounds of the animals, humans and birds are
healed. They feel better when they become roads, walkways and drains
but they cannot forgive themselves for the permanent injuries
inflicted on the animals, humans and birds.

Some of the pebbles are picked up by humans to be used for
decoration and healing purposes. They feel very grateful. "See, even
though we have fallen from the mountain, we are still useful." These
pebbles sing happily.

Still, other pebbles fall into the river. Some fishes are injured
while some are killed. These pebbles are grief-stricken. They moan
long and loud for the dead fishes. They moan even longer for the
injured fishes as these fishes never recovered and died after
suffering for a long period of time. Some of the injured fishes are
eaten by other fishes. Nonetheless, these pebbles stop moaning when
they are gathered by humans to be used for decoration and healing
purposes. But they cannot forget the fishes they have injured and lives that they have taken.

Some of the smaller stones are used by humans for building purposes.
They are exultant. "See, even though we have fallen from the
mountain, we are still useful." These stones are jubilant.

Conversely, some smaller stones hurt some animals, humans and birds
during the fall. They are despondent. "It is not our intention. We
don't mean to hurt you. Oh, we are so sorry." These stones plead
till they are gathered by humans for useful purposes.

Some of the sand is gathered by humans for building purposes. They
are hilarious. "See, even though we have fallen from the mountain,
we are still useful." These stones are triumphant.

On the other hand, some of the sand fall upon humans, animals and
birds and blinded them. They are remorseful. They cry till they are
gathered by humans for useful purposes. However, they are still sad
over their carelessness.

"Oh, don't cry, my children," the mountain comforts them, "do not
feel regret. The past is over. This is the most important moment. Be
happy and useful every present moment. If you always rejoice now,
this present moment is a gift from me. It is my present to you."

"You were a part of me and you will again be a part of me. In fact,
you are never apart from me. I will always be with you and you will
return to me someday," the mountain reassures them.

"Yes, yes, we shall be happy and useful till we reunite with you
again," all the parts of the mountain answer joyfully.