Jump

Life-changing experiences seem to occur when least expected. I don’t know what life holds for me, but I plan to continue living until the end.
It’s kind of funny what thoughts rush through your mind as you approach the exit of a plane still in flight. I’m not exactly sure why I’m here. It’s something my brother wanted to do together. Now that he’s gone, I thought well I’ll live for him.

Parachute? Check.

Things seem to be going according to plan. I mean the instructor has given us the green light. Time seems to be moving slower than normal. Not many windows on this plane. More than likely a good thing. Wouldn’t want those prepared to jump for the first time to start getting nervous looking out of them.

All of a sudden it seems to be getting hard to breathe in here. Feels like my life is in some sort of vacuum. What am I forgetting? Calm down, nothing is going to go wrong. I can’t hear anything. It feels the same too. There is just this void and I’m stuck in it. All of the other jumpers are lining up, behind me…

Wait who said I was going first? Ah, fuck!!!

“Listen up, systems are 5 by 5.” Our instructor has some military background. “We are at optimal altitude. It’s time to begin. Charlie are you ready?”

I muster what nerves I have left to answer, “Yes sir.”

“Do you remember the training? Do you remember when to pull your cord?”

“Ten seconds sir.”

“Ok Charlie, See you on the ground.”

I did love training for this. But when you’re 3500 feet up things just feel a little different. Our instructor assured me that nothing would go wrong. I wish that comforted me now.

“On my mark, three, two, one….JUMP!!!” As he spoke those words, a rush of fear, adrenaline and nerves all came at once. I stalled but only for a second. As time seemed to freeze, I felt a hand gently push me forward. A gentle push is all it took to be truly enveloped in the vastness of the heavens. For a long moment it felt as though I was floating in space. Well at least from what I would think floating in space felt like from the movies, never actually done that myself. While falling all of my fears and nerves seemed to float away. As if the only thing that mattered at the moment was, nothing. I felt like nothing. Not the bad kind of depressed nothing, but this wonderful feeling of well not really existing, but existing at the same time. Like why worry about my car payment or school loans. Right now nothing seems important at all. I feel as free as a bird.