Not Yet Titled *free writing poetry*

here it comes again

like it ever really left

that same old shadow

reminding you of death

but somehow

its different than before

i'm not running

not hiding

i am opening the door

welcoming in

a long lost friend

that wants to see me end

hello darkness

how have you been

its been a while

but i was expecting you again

have a seat

and we can look back

you can remind me when

i was a little girl

alone in a strange world

hollow & broken

we can talk of the old days

In a cloudy Haze

when i would cry the pain away

rejected and mocked

by all the kids my own age

and how my mother

and my father

couldn't love me the right way

and how the mirror became distorted

and i would turn and look away

yeah i remember you were there

you never left me

you were the only one around

and you never forgot me

yes i still feel the pain inside

from years of grief

still feel the sting and burning flesh

from all those beatings

when all the boys would taunt and tease

then want kiss and touch on me

I love you baby, i promise

i wont leave

there was no place

that was ok to be

love isn't real

thats what i believed

all the heartbreak that this world

Gifted me

Was more like a curse

and i was caged

no way to break free

thought i was alone

but looking back

Darkness, you stood strong

so please, come on in

I welcome you now

truer than a best friend

i owe a lot to you now

i know

these past years

of darkness and pain

planted seeds we've sown

i understand

that without you

I would have never grown

all these lessons through the shit

The hell of reliving all of it

It's only made me into

something in-destructive

and when my daughter died

you were there all the time

forcing me to stare death

in the eyes

i reached out to take your hand

and you led me through the land

deaths valley

and i couldnt stand

so you crawled with me

over every jagged edge

pushing me to give in

give my last breath

always when

i thought i'd reached the end

you'd set fire to me

and then

I'd come out of the ashes

Fresh and new again

thats why i now consider you

my dearest friend

oh those were the days

i didn't understand

but now i do

and today

i saw the sun turning blue

felt the cracking of my heart

and i knew

yes i knew

to expect you

so come on in

my dearest friend

And...

i will let you have the lead

as we take another

beautiful dark journey

through this painful land

Please, go ahead

take my hand

and lets dance

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