Dear Me - New Years Resolutions 2013

Dear me,

‘Sup Kid. How’s life? I’m writing this because you know the answer but don’t want to admit it. Life is alright. Just alright! Is that how you want to feel! It's time for a boost so that life becomes

                                Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

If you want life to be that fun, you better set some real goals. Not unattainable goals like last year. It was kind of like a caffeine boost where you think you are doing so well and then you hit rock bottom. It's not going to come easy either like the time when you set goals you already achieved. Your work is cut out for you! This year is a fresh start and here are your suggestions.

1)          Eat more Cake



I know this never shows up on any ones New Year's resolutions, but let's give it a shot. All these years you’ve been concerned about your weight trying to be the smallest. But you try so hard and the happiest kid in the world suddenly disappears. Ignore the numbers on the scale, I like you the way you are. And ps, you can’t afford loosing cake. Just admit it, its your best friend. You can’t afford loosing that relationship. Its just way to much to sacrifice.



So how are we going to do it? Chocolate, maybe oreo, or how about Butterscotch? From now on every Friday is no longer, “TGIF” (thank God it’s Friday). It has been decided that you are changing it to “TGIFBIGTEC” I now grant you two things. Number one is to look forward to our new term because it stands for “thank God it's Friday because I get to eat cake” Number two I grant you to use your smile. Whether or not those teeth are stained with chocolate, it would still be nice to see them.



2)          Throughout your calendar



Burn the planner and kill the Ocd. The routine is just hurting you. It's time to start living on the edge. Lets face it, it may have been just a tad crazy when you started scheduling toilet time. So lets fix this! I am not going to lie, it is going to be really hard. But it will be worth it. Just think, when was the last time you did something you really wanted to do? So instead of the agenda, keep a to do list and only note your priorities. Then burn that book!  But wait, before you set the flame, schedule in on every page this,

“ Whatever I feel like doing”

Trust me and trust you. You need a break so take it before death does.



3)          Clean your room girl



I saw something with fur and it was a rat or a mouldy sandwich. Either way it was dead and smelly. Change up your habits because even  the feebreeze specialists couldn’t mask this odour.



First, start with the floor. Make a pathway in the mob of everything connecting the bed, the bathroom and the exit. If you can accomplish this, it will be a miracle. I am going to be realistic and make this your only priority for cleaning. For the rest of the “treasures” you might want to hire a hoarder helper. (Even if it means letting go of your unicorn collection).                                                                       



4)          Sign your name right here: Karley



This is an oath and pledge to yourself and your family stating that you will faithfully take part in the sharing of duties. The duties include killing spider and sucking them up with a vacuum. As much as it pains you, you have already agreed to the official contract.



How can we make this less gross? You are going to go to Canadian Tire and buy yourself a shoe designed for killing bugs. Then you are going to go to Walmart and buy antiseptic spray because it is cheap and very sanitary after the duty has been performed. Finally it is nessecary that you stop at Factory Shoe and buy non-squeaky shoes as you would not want to give away your sneak attack on the spider.



Words of encouragement: You can do it!



5)          Finish your novel



You are going to have it completed before February 1st at 12:01am. You will eat, sleep and sweat this novel until it is finished! An hour before school every day you must write. Alongside, an hour before bed each night you will type. I know you're behind but it needs to end now. Why? The emotion has been bottled up inside too long. It's time to release. Finish. Print. Shove the book on your bookshelf. Forget about it. You will feel a lot better.





5 Keys to Happiness. You have them here for you and it's up to you if you decide to follow through. It's scaring you because you like to get things done right away. It can’t be done in one year and it may not be done by 2014 but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start. I know you can do it. There are only so many tomorrows. You learned that the hard way. So take control of your life while you still have it.



Best of luck



Love the only one that loves you

Just kidding…

Kind of



Karley