FAITH

As the last day of 2012 has finally yet expeditiously comes to an end, there is much to reflect on. This has been thee most trying, difficult year in my life, up to this point. Not to mention challenging. However as I sit back in thought and great contemplation I begin to feel empowered because once again I made it. God has brought me through yet another storm, one in which I just knew I was not going to ever recover from. Although there have been many changes, and I will not ever be the same again. I realize the strength and courage it took for me to get here. Faith was little as a mustard seed, yet that is all God had required of me. My faith was tried, tested, rocked, shocked, jolted, and even broken as I went through this year. The journey has been one that only God could receive the glory. In the midst of the storm I had lost it all family, friends, socialism, faith, confidence, love, and the desire to die was literally a daily struggle to stay a live. Every hour every minute was one that could have been my last. However in losing all of those things I have gained life, and life more abundantly. A new desire more like a fire burning passion inside of me for Gods will in my life. Understanding that God truly does know what is best for me, and trusting him to lead the way. Receiving that what Satan intends for bad God uses for good. This year I would have taken my life instead God gave me life. A life that is now not just living on earth but one that God has purposed on earth for me to live.The goals and dreams that God gave me at 19 are not forgotten or even outside my reach. yet right here jus beneath the surface of the cast in which through this storm I broke the mold God never intended to use as a hold on my life. The molding had been a process started before my time yet God has called me into his perfect time. So as I reflect I know the hurt, pain, tears and more importantly prayers that were released in 2012. What I didn't know was how God was manifesting in me a new being stripped of me I found him. Not alone but within this small tiny voice that just would not let me give up just wouldn't throw in the towel no matter how weak I got that little voice referred to as faith stayed small yet strong. While to weak to pray for myself God strategically placed one person in my life who saw it all. He prayed my way, he encouraged me and acted on the things in which I myself couldn't. God has seasons for a reason some temporary some permanent however the length of time God's will be done. Going into 2013 with the understanding of rough seas ahead yet with the faith and trust in God to restore in me who he intended before my plan was over extended. More storms are for sure on the way and expectations have gone away but one thing is for certain he will never leave me or forsake me even when the waves of life submerge me, sins of my life suffocate me, and isolate me. God is somewhere not to far away. All I have to remember is to call out his name "JESUS"