Stuck

I think I've gone in too deep.
I know this cannot end well, but still I'm going further.
I feel that I'd be happier by myself or with someone new.
I am stuck in such a rut that I believe it's impossible to get out.
I feel I give so much love to you and get none in return.
Yet you claim to love me. That I'm "loved very much".

Sure, fucking prove it.

Where's my random message or call saying that you love me?
Where's my show of appreciation?
Where's my showing-off?
Where's my affection?
Where in fuck's name is my relationship?

Fuck you. Fuck you a thousand times over.
Why do I feel this is a 90/10 relationship, that you feel different?
Where's the communication you say is lacking?
I'm dishing it out, throw some back at me. FUCK.

Why do you choose to only talk to me on certain nights
while other times I feel I practically have to force you to talk to me?
Why do I feel so desolate and alone? How do I still love you?
It's been almost 7 months. I should not feel this way.

I'm stuck.