There For Him... Her.

There For Him... Her.

This is the first chapter of 15 - I'll be adding them all soon... enjoy!

Right after Revelations. Reid's addicted and nobody knows. At least that's what he thinks.

Spencer slumped into his living room and fell onto the couch, head in hands. What was he going to do? Intellectually, he knew. He knew he was a junkie. He didn't care. All he could think about was the Dilaudid. The sweet release that rode through his body like a warm wave every time he shot up. He didn't want to eat, his work had become meaningless and a source of anxiety, and it was fine with him if he never left his apartment, never even cared to see his friends again. They'd just get in the way.

He missed JJ, though. Jennifer. Missed her impossibly blue eyes looking up at him glossy with laughter. Her silken cascade of golden hair that always smelled so wonderfully of jasmine, her perfect... Reid lolled his head on the back of the couch and ran his fingers through his hair, squinting his eyes to stop the memories. Thank god Hankel hadn't taken her. The one saving grace in all of this was that Jennifer wasn't harmed. Wasn't taken and tortured and injected with drugs. Jennifer didn't die, like he had… she was safe to go on living her life. And she was better off without him mooning over her every day.

He hadn't really taken a leave from work, just told Hotch he needed some time. Spencer hadn't contacted them in almost two weeks. He'd just been closed off in his apartment, doing his drugs and disappearing into a black, silent oblivion. His phone hadn't been on in nearly a week, and that was fine with him, he thought. The fewer intrusions, the better. He started to get up and head into the bathroom, his mind a hazy fog of blond hair and burning fish guts, when he fell. Face first onto the floor. He was out before he hit the ground. Too long with no food or drink and too much Dilaudid was a deadly combination.

JJ knew something was wrong. She'd been going over the night they found Spence in her head daily, hourly, trying to work it out. Trying to work out her own feelings of pain, guilt, remorse, and blinding fear. What if he never forgave her? What if he never forgave her? She couldn't stand the thought. It was a persistent knot in her stomach and a weighty pressure in her chest. She knew no matter how things turned out with Spence, she'd never forgive herself.

But right now was something else. Something she felt in her nerve endings, something she just knew. Something was very wrong with Spencer. Torn between her desire to give him the space he'd asked for, and her sudden, overwhelmingly intense concern for his well-being, JJ reached for her desk phone and buzzed Morgan in the bullpen. Morgan. He loved Spence almost as much as she did. He'd be discreet.
The big man was in front of her desk in a heartbeat. "Yes, what is it JJ?" His handsome face arched in question.

"Morgan, will you close the door, please?"

Morgan looked at her for a moment, then slowly moved to shut the door. "There a problem?"

"Derek, will you go with me to Spence's? I can't explain it but I just know there's something wrong. He hasn't checked in at all, and he hasn't answered his phone in a good week. I have this gut feeling…"

"JJ I've been wanting to go by and check on him too, but you know how he gets when we treat him like a baby."

JJ's hand went up – "Just... trust me on this okay? Get your gun and meet me outside. Don't say anything to the others." She moved from out behind her desk, her body deciding ahead of her brain to get moving.

By the time they got to Spencer's, Derek was full on-board with JJ's concern. He pulled the black SUV into the parking lot and both of them leapt out, running to the door. JJ stood by while Derek pounded on the door. "Hey kid! Open up. Enough of this now, let us in!"

Silence.

They'd seen his car in the lot, they knew he was there. JJ spoke up, "Spence? Please let us in, we just want to talk. It's just Morgan and me! Spence – ".

JJ looked at Morgan, fear in her eyes, and nodded. Morgan moved back, then shouldered the door open with a bang and a splintering of the doorjamb. JJ's worst fear was right there before her eyes, Spencer laying face down on the floor surrounded by blood and vomit, his skin gray, his arms and legs twitching.

"Morgan!" She screamed, as one hand went to her phone and dialed 911. She quickly gave the address and shouted "Officer down, Federal Agent injured!" before running to him and dropping to her knees and grabbing Spencer's hand, feeling for his pulse, then rubbing furiously as Derek performed CPR...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Reid didn't know where he was. He felt like he was floating. Everything smelled wrong, sounded wrong. He didn't want to open his eyes. Then he heard a voice. Her voice.

"Spence? Spence?"

He stirred, still not quite awake, still not understanding. He felt a softness near his ear, a whisper.

"Baby, please, wake up. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here for you, please…". JJ's soft sob cut through his fog like a blade.

Spencer opened his eyes and took in the sight of her. Her disheveled hair, her shirt with blood and god-knows what else on it, her tear-streaked cheeks and red-rimmed eyes and thought he'd never seen anyone so gorgeous. But what…? He slowly tried to raise his hand to touch her face, to wipe her tears. She beamed at him, and he caught his breath. When she moved away to call the doctors he managed a scratchy "No… don't…" before she was back by his side, stroking his face and grasping his hand.

She sat staring at him for long moments after the doctor had checked him out, pronounced him weak but stable, and given him IV fluids and a mild sedative. He would be fine. Or as fine as she could make him. She looked at him, sleeping peacefully. She would never let anything happen to this man again. She had almost lost him once, to his torturer, and again tonight, to his drug. Never again. He was hers. He would soon find out just exactly what that meant.

At 3 a.m. JJ grabbed her phone and dialed Morgan. "Hey, he woke up and he's okay. Derek, let's not say anything to the team until Spence gives us the all-clear."

"Sure, JJ. That's a huge relief, I'm glad he's doing better. Now maybe he can sleep for real. Thanks for letting me know... you get some rest, ok?"

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Two days later and JJ was sitting at her desk trying to concentrate on the job at hand. Spence was still in the hospital with severe dehydration and anemia, the doctors monitoring his withdrawal. She was itching to be there, to comfort and support him. Knowing he was still suffering was killing her.

Hotch chose that moment to come into her office.

"JJ, don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Sir?" JJ looked up, not getting it.

"Agent Jareau, someone needs you more than we do right now. I'll take over the case selection for a week or so. You're dismissed."
SSA Aaron Hotchner turned to leave and said, "Take good care of him." as he strode out.

JJ left the building and ran to her car, anxious to get to the hospital. She arrived at Reid's room to see him sitting on the edge of the bed looking out the window, his back to her. He didn't hear her approach, and gave a little start when she gently touched his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, Spence. How are you?" she whispered.

In reply Spencer took her hand from his shoulder and pulled her around in front of him.

"Jennifer, you look incredible," he said as he looked into her big blue eyes. "I can't imagine a more welcome sight, god JJ..." He stood up slowly and she folded into his arms. They stood that way for long minutes, him soaking in the fragrance of her, her clinging to his warmth, never wanting to let go. She felt him start to shake, and whether it was from the remaining withdrawal, or from her proximity, she didn't know.

"Sit down, Spence. I've something to say."

"JJ wait, I know..." - he began.

She pushed him gently down on the bed, and moved between his legs, "Shhh", she said as she reached around to tangle her fingers in his hair and pulled him toward her in the tenderest of kisses.

As surprised as Reid was, he wasn't about to argue. Feeling her soft lips under his was a new kind of drug. It sent an electric jolt through him and he closed his eyes and gave over to her, kissing her back with more intensity. His heart begin to slam against his chest when she pulled back. He looked at her perfect, sweet mouth before catching her eyes with his, questioning.

"Spence listen to me." JJ cupped his beautiful face in her hands. "As much as these past weeks must have been hell for you, and I want you to tell me about it when you're ready, I need you to know they've been brutal for me, too. Being away from you, knowing what you must be going through, not being able to see you, or hear your voice, or be there for you in any way... its made me realize some things."

Reid shook his head and said "JJ...".

"No, just listen because I need to get this out, I need you to hear me. Spencer I can't... I don't ever want to feel that again. I don't know what you feel for me but I do know that I cannot stand to be away from you any more. I almost lost you when he took you, and this... horrible thing he did to you almost made me lose you again." JJ felt the tears welling up behind her eyes and she didn't care. "Just let me," she choked, "just let me..."

Spencer wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against him. He pulled her down on the bed and lifted her chin up to meet his eyes. Spencer's incredible mind was spinning. She wanted him! His amazing goddess Jennifer Jareau was holding him, quietly crying, saying she needed him. He had to tell her...

"JJ, I don't know why you came here to tell me all this, but you've made me happier in the past few minutes than I've ever been in my life. I've cared for you for such a long time, never thinking you'd - I'd never have shut you out if I'd known. Nev-"

JJ reached up and grabbed his face, her quiet tears turning into a smile that lit his world. She caught his mouth in a warm kiss that quickly deepened, leaving them both breathless. "Don't ever leave me, Spence. Don't." she murmured into his mouth. "You're everything." His heart soared as he kissed her with all he had.

The next day was to be Spencer's release from the hospital. JJ had been at his apartment cleaning for most of the morning, and now it was time to get him home. She finished putting fresh sheets on his bed and smiled to herself with the knowledge that they'd be back here, together, very soon. She'd laid in a few basic groceries and some special junk foods she knew he liked. Picking up his go bag and feeling a bit giddy, she grabbed her keys and flew out the door.

Spencer was waiting for her, smiling that radiant grin and freshly showered. She waited while he got dressed in the bathroom and her heart skipped a beat when he walked out in his usual short-sleeved shirt, sweater vest, and khakis, his long hair curling on his shoulders.

"There he is..." JJ began. "There's my Spence."

He looked shyly down and then she was there in his arms. He did feel like himself again, and truly happier than he thought he'd ever be. His angel was there, beaming at him, making him feel... whole. It was an effort for him to release her from his embrace, however briefly.
He clasped her hand and said, "Let's get out of here." Spencer hoped he'd never see a room like this again. He silently swore he'd do everything in his power to keep from backsliding, from giving in to the nagging need he still felt. He felt stronger though, he did. With her by his side he felt he could do anything.

They walked into his apartment and Spencer let out a low whistle. "Wow, somebody's been busy! JJ, thank you so much. I was really dreading coming back here."

She smiled, took his go bag and dropped it right by the door, then moved into his waiting arms. "Don't thank me, just kiss me," she half-whispered. She pushed him up against the door, and knowing he'd be shy, smiled into his throat and began planting little kisses there. Spencer moaned softly and turned his head to take her mouth with his, moving his lips and sliding his tongue ever so softly over hers. He caught her soft hair in his hands and began breathing harder as they kissed, her body now pressing against the length of him. He felt himself harden and slowly moved his hips against her center. He could feel her heat beneath her thin skirt and wanted nothing more than to feel her surrounding him completely.

JJ moved her hand down and began stroking his erection through his pants. He jerked against her hand and moved to push it away. "Wait, wait..." he panted. He sought her eyes. He needed to be sure she wanted this as much as he always had. She looked directly into his hazel eyes and saw the question there. In response, she stepped back, crossed her arms and in one fluid movement, took off her top. Spencer drank her in with his eyes, never wanting anyone, anything as much as he wanted to touch her perfect breasts under the lacy lavender bra she wore. He copied her and did the same with his sweater vest, never taking his eyes off her. He felt his knees go weak at the sight of her and picked her up by her waist, her legs instinctively encircling him. "Bedroom." was all he said into the silky hair by her ear, as his hands slid down to support her bottom. She nodded while teasing his earlobe with her teeth. She murmured little sounds as he carried her, and ground her pelvis against his hardness.

Spencer laid JJ on the bed, immediately covering her with his body. His hard length was at its full size and he rubbed it against her heated core. He covered her mouth with his, bombarding her with deep, desperate kisses, as she returned them, matching his passion. His hand slid under her bra, his thumb running over her sensitive, erect nipple and she gasped. "Spence... baby...yes...". He pushed her bra up so he could lick and suck the other nipple and JJ dropped her head back, moaning. Spence moved his hand down to the inside of her thigh and gently stroked, then pushed her soaked panties aside to rub the nub of her clit, using her wetness to glide over it with his thumb. "Oh Jennifer, god, JJ you feel so good..." he moaned onto her breast.

JJ grabbed at his hair, pushing his mouth ever harder onto her breast as she writhed under his fingers against her wetness. She moaned, and reached down to unzip him, wanting, needing to feel his hard cock in her hands. With a groan, she pushed him off her and flipped him on his back. He lifted his hips as she pulled his pants and boxers off together, and sighed as she saw his large, rock hard penis jump at her gaze.

"JJ... please, god, come here," he pleaded. Instead, she moved between his legs, her hand grasping his straining cock and it was his turn to cry out. She moved her hand up and down the length of him, rubbing her thumb across the slick, thick, engorged tip, wet with pre-cum, and lowered her head, taking him in her mouth ever so gently, swirling her tongue around his tip. "God Spence, you taste soo gooood..."

Spencer lost his mind. He groaned in the back of his throat as she took more of him into her mouth. He was too big to take in completely, but she alternated between stroking and sucking him, movements slow and deliberate, then faster and harder. "Jennifer...I can't... I can't..." She knew he was close and as she stroked and licked and sucked ever faster, she felt him spasm against her tongue, and Spencer repeated her name and bucked his hips against her mouth, one hand gripping her hair and the other fisted in the comforter beneath him. Three more thrusts into her hot, wet mouth and he turned his head to the side as he cried out and exploded into her sweet mouth, coming harder than he'd ever in his life.

My god, my god, my god was all he could think. He pulled her up so she lay on top of him and he kissed her deeply. He could taste himself on her but he didn't care. When he'd recovered enough, he rolled them both on their sides and stared into her eyes, stroking her face and feeling his own eyes dampen as his breathing and heart rate slowly returned to normal. She smiled at him.

"Well, Dr. Reid, did you enjoy that?" she teased, knowing full well she'd blown his mind.

"I can't tell you," he breathed, "I can't even begin..." She saw his eyes mist over and he closed them. She moved up to kiss both of his closed eyelids tenderly and they shot open - "Oh! But you! You didn't..." he faltered.

"That was for you, baby, only for you. This time. We have all night, don't we?" She flushed and looked down, adjusting her pretty bra back down over her perfect breasts. Spencer followed her gaze and grinned when he noticed she still had her skirt on, and he his shirt. They'd been so desperate for each other they hadn't had time to take off the rest of their clothes.

"Jennifer, we have our whole lives." They crawled into the usual position on the bed, heads on pillows, and he wrapped his long arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head, breathing her in and reveling in the feel of her. His. She wrapped her arm around his torso, and caught his ankle with her own, enjoying the warmth of him, the smell of him, and being in his arms. They dozed like that for a while, hearts humming with bliss.