Losing April

    “Get away from me! I never want to see you again!” That’s the last thing I said to my best friend April. It wasn't easy to say that to her, it had to be the hardest thing I’ve had to do. It was torture watching those tears run down her rosy red cheeks. I hate to see her upset; we’ve been best friends for three years. We know everything about each other, and I mean everything. Every little problem I’ve had, April knows. Like the time me and my mom got in a fight because my little brother Aj tried to cut me. Did my mother care? No. In fact I got in trouble for his actions, I remember the words that came out of my mother’s mouth, and boy did she have a colorful language.

      “Michael Tomas Harris, stop scaring your brother this instant!”  That’s me, Michael, but everyone calls me Mike. Only two people ever call me Michael, and that’s my mother and April. April was something else; I can’t ever forget her face, her long eye lashes, and her amazing brown eyes, way better than my blue eyes. Whenever we got into an argument all she had to do was bat those eyes of hers and I gave in, her eyes were like baby cow’s eyes. She had this amazing silky brown hair, her amazing smile. It was the best make up she could ever wear, which is actually kind of funny because she doesn’t wear make up at all, but she still looks amazing. She always wore baggy boy clothes that didn’t fit her body at all. I didn’t find out why until two years ago. She had to wear her older brother’s hand-me-down clothes because she was so poor. She was a good three inches shorter than me, which was good because I’m 5 foot and 3 inches. I might have been more built than her and a lot tougher, but when we wrestle, boy did she pack a punch. April was the best thing to happen to me, and when I say that I mean it. We had so much in common it was insane; we both had these crazy lives that nobody would believe if they heard them. She was the only one I could talk to, who would actually understand me, until one day when I lost her.

         Life at home wasn’t the best, for both me and April. For some reason however, when we went to each other’s house it wasn’t as crazy. In fact, my family adored her, more than they did me! My own little sister Destiny, who never likes anyone, even loved her, she considered April her sister. My parents laughed at everything she said or did. April loved making other people happy. She was a tad on the wild side; don’t get me wrong, I loved it. Every day she had something new and exciting to do. She kept me on track, she taught me right from wrong, even through I’m a good year older than her, she’s 16 and I’m 17. When things were tough at her house she would always come to my house, and stay there as long as she needed. What I hated the most was when she would come over and I see all these bruises and cuts all over her body, that’s what really ticked me off. I was 15 when she told me she gets abused at her house. I remember the one time I didn’t get to see her or hear from her for a whole week, dang did that week go by slow. During that time without April, I started to hang out with the wrong people and do the wrong things. I tried new things; things that made me feel good. I started drinking to ease the pain of my family; I had no one to talk to when April disappeared, so I turned to drugs and alcohol. When I finally saw her she had bruises all around her wrists, and all over her body, and had this huge cut across her stomach. When I asked her what happened all she said was “It’s better if you don’t know Michael.” After two hours of intimidating her, she finally told me, and man was I shocked. How could anybody do that to someone and force them to do that? I made her go to the police station and tell them what happened; it wasn’t easy to make her tell them how she was raped, and everything that happened, in fact she cried the whole time. This made me cry, which is weird because I never cry, not even when my dog Gibbler died, and I loved Gibbler. April was so upset with me when I told her what I had been doing.

“How could you Michael Tomas Harris!? I thought I taught you better and told you to stay away from that stuff! You’re going to ruin your life!” She screamed. I knew she was right, but the thing is I couldn’t stop, when I did those things I felt so much better. My grades started to drop dramatically, I went from all A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s, I didn’t tell April, though. My anger started to get the best of me; any little thing would set me off. Like this one time when Aj took my Monster from the fridge when he knew it was mine, it even had my name on it. I freaked out and that made my mom and my step dad George upset, and that made them get into a fight, and then my mom took it out on me. That second she hit me I left, I grabbed as much stuff as I could and left. I ran away to April’s, but before I went there I needed to relieve some stress, so I headed to my buddy Jimmy’s house. That probably wasn’t the best thing to do, I couldn’t even think straight I was so messed up, April noticed, I knew she would, but I made the mistake of going to her house. She was so mad at me and disappointed, she even cried. That’s when the fight happened, when I made the mistake of losing her. That is when I told her to get away and that I never wanted to see her again and stormed out of her house. It’s been a month since we talked. I continued to run away, but I had nowhere to go since I lost April, I never told her how I felt about her. I thought it was for the best that she didn’t know. I didn’t want to risk losing my best friend, but it didn’t matter anymore since that fight, I already lost her. I can’t forget her smile; every time I close my eyes I see her beautiful face. Ever since I lost her I’ve been doing more and more drugs and drinking more and more, until I got the news.

“There’s been an accident”, is what I was told. When my mom told me that April got hit by a car, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even speak, my mom said I looked like a statue and my skin was icy cold.

“You’re joking right?” was all I could say. When she told me that April was in a coma and bad condition, I couldn’t believe her; I had to see it to believe it. My mom drove me to the hospital because I was so shaken up I couldn’t drive. It was storming that day, but I didn’t even notice that’s how worked up I was, all I could think about was April. The second we pulled into the hospital parking lot I jumped out of the car and into the hospital faster than a lion chasing a gazelle. I had never run so fast in my life, I couldn’t breathe. The lady at the desk couldn’t even understand me; I had to repeat myself at least three times. I still remember her room number, room 314 on the third floor. I hate hospitals, the smell, how cold they are; man did I pick the wrong day to wear shorts and a beater. I ran all the way to her room, I even knocked down a few nurses along the way.

         She didn’t move. I stopped outside her room for a good five minutes looking in her window, just staring at her. Her body looked like a stiff board, she wasn’t even breathing on her own. She had so many tubes and wires attached to her, I wanted to cry. This is my entire fault, look what I’ve done. That’s all I could think of. If I wouldn’t have pushed her away and told her to stay out of my life, I could have prevented this.  Everyone was there, Mom, George, Aj, Destiny, even Aprils family, and they all stood behind me, waiting, for me to go into her room. April’s mom put her hand on my shoulder.

“She just came out of surgery, she was bleeding inside her head, and they had to drain it.” She still looked beautiful; she always does to me, no matter what. The way her hair laid perfectly behind her rested head, even hooked up to all those machines, she still looked beautiful. I was so happy I got to see her again; I just wish it wasn’t like this. I walked over to the side of her bed and put my hand between hers and just stared at her. Nobody dared to enter the room, they all just stood at the door way and watched and held each other close. I watched as my tears landed on her hand.

“April”, I said, “please wake up April, please.”

“Daddy why is sissy sleeping?” said Destiny. She was too young to understand what was going on, she was only four at the time. Everyone could see how worried and upset I was.

“Come on everyone I think Michael wants to be alone with her”, my mom said. After they left I still had no words, just more tears.

“April, I know you can’t hear me but I wish you could. I’m sorry I pushed you away; I thought it was for the best, I didn’t want to upset you anymore or fight. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, you were my ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. You truly were the only thing that made me happy in this messed up world, I need you.” I cried for a good half hour until I had no more tears. Her skin was so cold; she looked like she was in so much pain. More tears appeared; I buried my face into her sheets. I had no one to turn to; I tried everything to wake her up. Except one thing, I got down on my knees, closed my eyes, and folded my hands together and prayed. I’ve never prayed before, so I didn’t really know what to do, but it went a little something like this.

“Dear God, I know we don’t talk and I don’t go to church or pray to you like everyone else, and I sometimes use your name in vain, but please let April live. I love this girl and I can’t live without her. She’s my best friend, she’s part of me please don’t take my other half from me. I’ll do anything, I would give my life up for hers, and she has so much more to live for than me. She’s beautiful, smart, wise, caring, intelligent, bright, and so full of life, she can make anyone smile. So you see God, you can’t take her away, you just can’t. If you let her live I’ll change, for the better this time, I’ll stop doing drugs and drinking, I’ll get help for my anger, I won’t fight with my family, and I’ll even help the poor, just make April alright and let her wake up, please.”

         I stayed like that for a good five minutes crying, my face buried in her sheets. Then all of a sudden the hand I was holding twitched. I didn’t move though, I stayed just how I was and cried. I felt a hand on my shoulder, “Michael?” I knew that voice anywhere, the voice of an angel. I slowly lifted my head up and saw her beautiful smile.

         “You’re alive!” I screamed, and I jumped up to hug her. “April I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said, I want you in my life, I never wanted you to leave, you mean the world to me. I love you April, with all my heart, please don’t ever leave me again.”

         “I love you too Michael”, she said. I could tell she was crying too because her voice got really soft.

         “I thought I almost lost you April, I can’t live without you, I don’t love you as a friend, and I love you a lot more than that, you mean so much to me. I made God a promise April”, I said.

         “What did you promise him?” she said puzzled.

         “I promised him that if he let you live that I would change. I’m done using drugs, and drinking, I’m going to get help with my anger, I’m done fighting, I’m going to help others April, just like you.” She looked straight at me and smiled, and did something I never thought she would do, she kissed me, not on the cheek either, right on the lips.

         “I love you Michael Tomas Harris, I always have. I just wish it didn’t take me getting hit by a car for you to admit that you love me” she said in a playful tone. The others came in and everyone began to cry and hug her as well. As for me? She never let go of my hand, and I never left her side, not once.

Almost a year has passed now, April and I have never been happier or closer. She needed five months of physical therapy, but she’s finally back on her feet, and as for me, I’m clean from drugs. I haven’t touched that stuff since she started physical therapy. I took her to therapy every day and helped her, she did the same for me and helped me quit drugs and drinking. I finally have my anger under control. My family problems are finally starting to be resolved, I sat down with my parents and had a talk with them about Aj and Destiny. They are also getting help too. April and I are currently living together in a little town in Italy called Florence, man is it beautiful here, but not more beautiful than April. Life’s not like a Disney story, you don’t always get your Snow White, or Cinderella, but I sure got mine.