The Price I'll Pay

I find myself lost in the wonders of this life; a maze trapping me inside my own thoughts.
Mistakes torn to shreds; left in deep depths of my past’s soul. I regret the path that’s lead.
In a mutual bond; one shared with a seed, I am holding on to something unreal.
The reality of something I really cannot have; the loneliness of singleness; motherhood.
I am by myself in this fading world of washed up happiness I wished I had.
I breathe in the air, so sweet, yet tainted with the memories of unspoken words unbridled on paper.
The fire burning deep inside covers the words I chose to hide. I am not really sure why I feel so lost.
Yet one glimmer of lust from the opposite side of my world gives me hope.
I question the glares and subtle advances from the closing door to the fun on that side.
I fear the price I will pay for stepping out. Its worth is as much as Judas’ life. I bow my head, praying for peace.