Ridiculous Things Not To Ponder

It's Friday, and I'm not sure about all of you, but when I've completely shut down weekday mode, and have turned on weekend mode; I often find myself rehashing some of the questions that have plagued my quixotic mind for three of my last seven lifetimes. I doubt I'll ever find an answer for any of them, partially because these questions should never be asked in the first place, but mostly because these questions should DEFINITELY not be asked in the first place. So without further adieu...

Is Micronesia just a smaller version of Indonesia, or is it a completely different 'Nesia' all together? When did overalls go back out of style, and how did I miss that? Why can't pi ever end? I have my suspicions that if you travel far enough down the number trail, eventually it will stop, it has to at some point right? Why does passion fruit have to look so unappetizing, with a name like that, you'd figure it would be the most glorious looking of all the fruits? Why can't I own a pair of sunglasses for more than a year, I'm beginning to think this is just another black-hole conspiracy just like my left socks? Am I really a bad person because I neglect to brush my teeth when I'm at a cottage, terrible personal hygiene, yes, but bad person? Is it just me, or are there far too few people that enjoy playing Scrabble nowadays? Is it actually possible to sleep with one eye open? Is it safe to call yourself ambidextrous if you can masturbate professionally with both hands, but are unable to do anything else of significance with both hands? Why are they even called egg rolls, I'm not even convinced that there's any egg in them whatsoever? Why is Facebook so popular, the whole idea just sounds kind of silly to me? If you live on James Street Road, and someone asks you if it's a road or a street, what the fuck are you supposed to tell them? Did any of the Stone Cutters ever actually cut any stones, or was it just a cool sounding name for a group? Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? And has she ever had an illicit affair with Waldo? How terrible will winter sports viewing be without the NHL? Do gray hairs really make you look more distinguished, or just more old? Were Blackberries and I-Phones originally designed for people with abnormally slender fingers? Have people still not realized that anything that has ever been designed by Ed Hardy is fucking ridiculous? Why aren't people more happy about global warming, aside from myself, I thought people generally preferred hot weather as opposed to cold weather? Who actually shot JR? Is Lebron James the biggest man-child in the history of man-children, he looks like he must be at least 45 years plus? What happened to Seal's face? Should it really be called 'sexting' without any actual penetration? Are there certain states were you are allowed to keep huge jungle cats as pets? Is it true that if you run in a zig-zag pattern, an alligator will not be able to catch you? Do hermaphrodite's find it more offensive when you tell them to 'go fuck yourself'? Who do you think would win in a fight between Gary Coleman and Gary Oldman? How many nicknames are too many for one person? Do you think God ever finds it redundant with the amount of people that are constantly thanking him/her on Friday's? Is there just a lot more men these days with pecker problems, or are there just more pecker pills readily available than in the good old days? Can poison oak ever catch poison ivy, and vice versa? Is there such a thing as a sandwich that is completely comprised of knuckles? If you're an organ donor, can your organ, or organs, ever get declined because they're completely broken? Will Outkast ever get back together? And lastly, what is the single greatest weekend that was ever had, and what did it consist of?

And what did I just write...