OLD CHAT LOGS

OLD CHAT LOGS

OLD CHAT LOGS



StrawberryPeachXooXoo Hey

Andaye: Wat up

StrawberryPeachXooXoo

nothin u?

Andaye: Im bumping that rapper you were telling me about

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Really

Andaye: LOL no

StrawberryPeachXooXoo L

Andaye: Don’t sad face me, look I youtubd him and I think he’s wack. But im no hater so let him do him, just don’t expect me to listen

StrawberryPeachXooXoo u don’t like him?

Andaye: What difference does it make what I think? You’re the one thats with the guy

StrawberryPeachXooXoo im not ‘with’ him were just talking

Andaye: What does that even mean anymore? Im sorry Im just out of touch

StrawberryPeachXooXoo it means nothings official

Andaye: But you’ve slept with him?





(An uncomfortable amount of time elapses)



Andaye: ?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo We’ve done stuff

Andaye: y so vague?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo …. :P

Andaye: Seriously, would u stop with all the emoticons! you’ve been weird lately what’s the deal?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I want to see you again

Andaye: don’t I feel special!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo you should I just don’t go around seeing anyone ;)

Andaye: I heard different

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?

Andaye: Kidding! I’m only kidding! Look you’re still down to see me do stand up this weekend right?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo yes…..

Andaye: what’s with the ‘…’?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I want to see you before then

Andaye: well… I dunno Im kinda busy this week. Me and the fellers are making magik brownies MAGICK!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo pwease!

Andaye: only if you correctly spell pwease

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Pllllease!

Andaye: Almost

StrawberryPeachXooXoo PLEASE

Andaye: Okay! You know what a stikler I am for correct spelling

StrawberryPeachXooXoo we should go to café crepe again!

Andaye: Honestly I’m not too impressed with that place

StrawberryPeachXooXoo ?

Andaye: I was underwhelmed

StrawberryPeachXooXoo that’s because you got the wrong thing

Andaye Why didn’t you tell me I was getting the wrong thing?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Because I didn’t know it was the wrong thing until after you ordered it

Andaye: WISE ASS!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo J

Andaye: Alright we’ll get your fruity fake French pancakes

StrawberryPeachXooXoo J

Andaye: You still have my number right its 647 *** ****

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Yuppers! C ya later alligator

Andaye In a while crocodile!*



(*Editors note: yes I can be that lame)



One day later



StrawberryPeachXooXoo hey

Andaye: Wat up m’lady

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Nuthin

Andaye Nuthin?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Nuthin.

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Wat r u up to?

Andaye Sumthin ;)

StrawberryPeachXooXoo O?

Andaye Remember that girl I told you about?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo no

Andaye No u know, the girl I was telling you about. Cute?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo no

Andaye No she isn’t cute or no you don’t remember?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Daryl texted me

Andaye The rapper?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo  yup

Andaye: okay so we’ve confirmed your phone works

StrawberryPeachXooXoo He wants to c me

Andaye neat

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Like right now. He said he has the car so he can pick me up

Andaye: And then lay it down?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo  LOL we’ll c depending on how things go

Andaye: Ok cool hopefully he doesn’t fuck like he raps, else u mite fall asleep halfway

StrawberryPeachXooXoo  LMAO u suck

Andaye: Hey I gtg anyway ttyl,  keeps it funky spidermonkey*



(*Editors note: I hate me)



Later that night



StrawberryPeachXooXoo I thought u had to go

Andaye: I was but Betty’s online and I’m instant message romancing her

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Lol how?

Andaye: U might not believe this but I can be very charming when I want to be

StrawberryPeachXooXoo o?

Andaye: I’d show you but I wouldn’t want you falling in love with me- I value your friendship far too much

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Keep telling yourself that pal

Andaye: I do value our friendship

StrawberryPeachXooXoo No dummy the falling in love part

Andaye: ooooo ya dude ud be all over me. Speaking of which, what happened to Daryl the rapper?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Meh

Andaye: Meh?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I didn’t feel like doing anything tonite

Andaye: U mean anyone. Poor Daryl the rapper. He’s probly gonna write a song about this ‘Girl I’m so hurt/what is life worth…’ etc

StrawberryPeachXooXoo LOL ur a dick

Andaye: Its my thing. hey brb its getting good with Betty Methinks I can try and weasel my way into seeing her this week *conceals yelps of glee

StrawberryPeachXooXoo ok

Andaye: Peace out beansprout*



(*Editors note: Im actually kinda proud of that one)



Even later that night….



StrawberryPeachXooXoo Still online? We need to work on getting you some kind of life

Andaye: Har X2.    Im gonna see Betty this week!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo when?

Andaye: Thursday *Does jig

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Ummmm. Aren’t u forgetting something?

Andaye: I prefer not using condoms

StrawberryPeachXooXoo NO we’re going to café crepe that day

Andaye OO no I remembered. We’ll just go earlier. Like noon, that’s cool right? U don’t mind? I reeeallly wanna put my best effort in with this Betty. Im thinking maybe you could give me a few helpful hints, u being sort of a lady and all

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Excuse me ‘sort of’?

Andaye: Ya u kinda resemble what Im used to when I picture a woman

StrawberryPeachXooXoo If u were here Id smack you right now!

Andaye: And if I were there Id like it. But this is no time for arousal! I need my beauty sleep me and the gang are having MAGIK BROWNIES 2mrw! Keep it awesome Opossum!*



(*Editors note: Don’t judge me, you all do lame shit too!)



The next day



StrawberryPeachXooXoo Hey why aren’t u out? Isn’t it magic brownie day?

Andaye Long story short I ate two when I was only supposed to eat one and apparently Im supposed to be really high when this thing kicks in so the guys thought itd be best if I stayed home.

StrawberryPeachXooXoo how do u feel now?

Andaye honestly pretty okay. I think everyone overreacted Im pretty good at handling my shit. But whats up with u?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Nuthin

Andaye: nuthin? What happened to rapper guy?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo meh. Brandon txtd me

Andaye: The ex right?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo yup. We’re gonna hang out tonite

Andaye koo im sure you have catching up to do

StrawberryPeachXooXoo ya

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I had a dream about u last nite

Andaye O rly? How naked was I?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo actually….

Andaye wait what?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo teehee

Andaye I don’t know if it’s this conversation or the brownies but im starting to get light headed. Anyway, how was i?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo good J

Andaye: Just good? Fall asleep and we’ll try again.

StrawberryPeachXooXoo LOL



(An extended period of time elapses)



StrawberryPeachXooXoo So café crepe 2mrw rite?

Andaye yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fooo sho

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Noon?

Andaye ye

StrawberryPeachXooXoo don’t worry this time we’ll get something not aweful

Andaye ye

StrawberryPeachXooXoo whats with the short answers? R u mad at me?

Andaye Ne

StrawberryPeachXooXoo ?what?

Andaye Brwnie fuklkkd up head heafy

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I guess the brownies kicked in



(Another extended period of time elapses)



Andaye yE

StrawberryPeachXooXoo LOL ok I’ll txt u 2mrw and we’ll figure everything out lator gator

Andaye DILE;



Early Friday morning



StrawberryPeachXooXoo OMG Brandon keeps txting me! Did I lead him on? Should we not have hooked up?



(An extended amount of time elapses)



StrawberryPeachXooXoo ? r u there

StrawberryPeachXooXoo r u mad at me?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo R U?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo plz answer me

StrawberryPeachXooXoo r u mad?

Andaye: NO IM NOT FUCKING MAD!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Y ARE U YELLING AT ME?!

Andaye …. Y did u call me three times when I was out with Betty yesterday?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I needed ur advice!

Andaye Did u really?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I needed to talk to someone

Andaye I was kinda in the middle of something

StrawberryPeachXooXoo O wat the girl?

Andaye Yes the girl! Christ how self absorbed are you?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Hey!

Andaye life isn’t all about you and the randoms you fuck, things happen to me too

StrawberryPeachXooXoo HOW DARE YOU

Andaye O I dare!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Look I wanted your help because I thought I could reach out to u but apparently were not as close as I thought maybe I shouldn’t bother asking you for help anymore

Andaye FANTASTIC! I can do without hearing about your boring diatribes about whether or not ur going to sleep with some guy uve been talking to or bitching about being unsatisfied with the same guy after you’ve hooked up. U wonder why all ur female friends abandoned u, its because you’re a self centered cunt!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo FUCK U

Andaye Im the one person u haven’t

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Where do u get off saying these things to me!?

Andaye Who the fuck do you think you are? U think u can come waltzing back into my life and just disrupt it at your own whim?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo What? I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Andaye U most certainly do know what the fuck im talking about! U knew I had feelings for u when we first met, and you cavalierly threw all the dicks u sucked in my face and then u tried punking me out for not trying to sleep with u the same night u hooked up with that random thirty year old at that club

StrawberryPeachXooXoo He was not thirty!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo And I was drunk and I felt vulnerable because Brandon and I broke up that week

Andaye that’s not my fucking problem! I stopped talking to you for a reason, because your like a fucking poison! U know how I feel about you and u exploited me, and I have to make peace with the fact that I stupidly allowed myself to be exploited by u

StrawberryPeachXooXoo … how do u feel about me?

Andaye …felt.

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Look I don’t want to talk about this over MSN. Im calling u now

Andaye well im not picking up, my folks are asleep and I don’t wanna have them hear me scream on a bitch

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Well come over

Andaye What? It’s 1 am are you smoking crack?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Come over please I need to talk to you

Andaye ur insane, it’s like a twenty minute bus and its stupid late

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I need u

Andaye Lord, don’t say that

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Please. U can spend the night I need to work this out or else I wont be able to sleep or focus on anything else

Andaye Read a book or something

StrawberryPeachXooXoo please come I couldn’t stand it if you were mad at me

Andaye …fine Im coming. But if this is some sort of prank and you’re not home im taking a leak on your porch!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo C ya in a while crocodile

Andaye … okay this is not the time for cutesy signing off messages, but I’ll c u in a few honey dew



The next day



StrawberryPeachXooXoo J

Andaye :>

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Did you have fun last night?

Andaye Waay more than I expected to

StrawberryPeachXooXoo why is it always me msgng u first?

Andaye I don’t want to come off as eager.

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Im glad u came over yesterday

Andaye Ya.

Andaye Hey listen, Im gona go over my set for tmrw nite. Ur still coming through rite?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Of course!

Andaye Cool Im gonna head, see u in 24 matador

StrawberryPeachXooXoo …that one wasn’t ur best

Andaye gimmie a break im all disoriented from yesterday! Peace out!



The next day



StrawberryPeachXooXoo so r u gonna tell me why you blew me off tonight?

Andaye … y did u bring Daryl the rapper to my comedy set?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo oooo jealous?

Andaye … y did u bring Daryl the rapper to my comedy set?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo If I have known ud be such a baby about it I never would have brought him

Andaye No one as manipulative as u could be that stupid

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Hey! I resent that

Andaye and I resent u bringing that dipshit to my set!

StrawberryPeachXooXoo u never liked him did u

Andaye ITS NOT ABOUT THAT! Girl what game are you playing?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I Don’t play games  I told u that when I first met u

Andaye BULLSHIT UR A LIKE A FUCKING PARKER BROTHER

StrawberryPeachXooXoo wHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Andaye It means u brought him out for a reason, why? I have no idea, who knows what goes on inside ur twisted little mind

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Look, are you just mad because you weren’t funny tonite?

Andaye … bitch r u fucking kidding me?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo don’t take out your frustrations on me

Andaye … Id strangle u if you didn’t crave the attention

StrawberryPeachXooXoo I don’t get why ur being so jealous, u knew I was seeing Daryl!  God sometimes I feel like u were raised on a farm or something

Andaye I don’t know why I waste my time on u, ur FUCKING NUTS

StrawberryPeachXooXoo okay I get it ur hurt. I didn’t mean to piss u off, but daryl txtd me and I thought it would be a fun night out

Andaye For whom?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Well no one, but its not my fault u weren’t funny tonight

Andaye okay we’re done- that’s it. I don’t know what u want from me, but I cant take ur mood swings anymore

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Wait! Look okay so maybe I made a mistake, I don’t need to see Daryl anymore

Andaye And what about the others?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo What others?

Andaye the stable of guys u keep in a revolving rolodex by ur nightstand?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo O so when a guy sees a few girls at once its okay but when I do it its not?

Andaye WHO SAID THAT ITS OKAY?

StrawberryPeachXooXoo SOCIETY

Andaye this is a convo between U and ME society IS NOT INVOLVED in this

StrawberryPeachXooXoo So what do u want me to do?

Andaye …nothing. Look I gtg

StrawberryPeachXooXoo Wait. Come over. We’ll talk

Andaye no

StrawberryPeachXooXoo pwease?

Andaye no I cant

StrawberryPeachXooXoo … r u sure?



(long pause before the next message)



Andaye yes im sure. Later gator

StrawberryPeachXooXoo in a while crocodile.



After that I deleted her from all my contact lists and we never spoke again. Though I often hope/fear I’ll run into her again, and if that sounds corny or lame I don’t care.