18+ a rediculous poem about being a meat eater, full of some bad words and twisted ideas. |
-I’m A Carnivore- by Keaton Foster (18+) In a bucket or in a can Alive and or mostly dead Food and if need be trash I would eat just about anything Survival is where it’s at This world is about kill or be killed And if you think that cows Would not bludgeon us to death If they hand the chance You are completely wrong They have no thumbs to hold a club But if they did it would be dead You know that I’m right when I also say That chickens would peck our eyes out Rip off our limbs and dip them in ranch Don’t even get me going on what pigs would do If such animals had the means and the tools We would all most certainly be doomed All creatures are bound by survival It just happens to be we are the ones With guns, knives, and clubs Survival by any means is our motto Love, hug, embrace, all horseshit Beat, shoot, slice, kill and eat Deliciously absurd and then some I’m so hell-bent on survival That as disgusting as would be If I had to I would eat The corn out of a pile of shit You can take it for what it is Then again Ok, maybe I wouldn’t do that That is kinda fucking gross I love to eat once fury little creatures Sliced, diced and or Julienned They are always quite delicious Slithering, slimy insects With seven extra appendages Always taste great on a stick But my favorite Are the true beasts of burden Shot in the head Cut into quartered sections Of absolute deliciousness Made into hearty steaks Pulverized into chuck Grounded into paste It’s all the same As long as it’s cooked Over an open flame Burned to a crisp Well done and then some None of that escargot shit I often joke with my wife A staunch vegan at heart That if it was not against the law And so highly unsanitary I would chase down A pig in a farmer’s field And eat him alive Now I know that If I did such a terrible thing PETA Would probably have me killed Ironically probably taken Out into that same field And shot in the head I know that those of you Who love bunnies And I don’t mean in stew Will probably hate me to But what can I do I’m a carnivore A meat eating mutha-fucker With a hankering for blood It’s part of my DNA Part of the way that I was made In this world of hunt or be hunted I am a shining example of an apex predator Don’t feel so bad for the animals Everyone once and awhile they Score one for their own team That is why I don’t go into the woods The ocean and any lakes down south Heck I won’t even go to a farm Because you never know when some Barn yard critter with a score to settle Is gonna try to take you out I prefer to get my meat from the grocery store I dare not ask how it got there The only question that concerns me Is whether or not it would be good With Heinz 57 or A-1 steak sauce I’m a carnivore A meat eating SOB always looking For something to sink my teeth into Hate me if you must as I fill my gut With God’s delicious creatures… I’m A Carnivore Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012. |