Passing Tides

I sit here, at home, alone:
there's no Rush, listening
to "Time Stand Still,"
In this unearthly hush.
Unemployed, hopeless,
yet, aware, understanding,
that Anything is possible;
mine, for the commanding.
Did i really do wrong?
Is this my fault, possibly?
or was it my coworkers,
who never cared much for me.
I guess it's all up to God,
He will, well, whatever he will.
But, for now, i will sit in regret,
listening to "Time Stand Still."
Letting the passing tides flow,
buried in my memories, including,
the loss of job, nearly of family,
in this darkness, brooding.
I Should Do More, i should try,
but, hope like distant fire,will die
And I?
Lonely i?
Will just cry.