A complicated Taurus/Aries Love story

I wanna have a little fun with this. My relationship is complicated, but the story of how we got here is a great one. So it may take me a while to get to the problem, but the ride will be an entertaining one. It's important that you know all of it. Hopefully that will allow you to see why it's so difficult for me now. So........sit back........take notes........and, enjoy!

A little background: I have been in a confusing, heartbreaking, and absolutely amazing relationship with a taurus man (45) for the past 8 months. I am a 37 year old aries woman. We both have teenage children from previous marriages. I've been married once, and he....twice. We met last fall when he was contracted to renovate a few offices (including my own) where I work.

Now a little about me: Very A-typical aries. Impatient, stubborn, usually stops at nothing to get my way. I'm basically a big kid. I am damaged of course. Past relationships have left me guarded and closed off to anything that resembles love. I keep people at arms length and protect myself with a brash and snarky attitude. Of course I enjoy being adored by someone, but that doesn't mean I let them know that. Nothing turns me on more than another's ability to satisfy my curious mind with knowledge. I enjoy the chase or playing the game of love. Not so much a player, but just working to win another's affections. I LOVE a challenge of any kind. I am very much a dominant person everywhere except the bedroom, though my sexual appetite is ferocious.

A little about my taurus: In alot of ways, he is typical. Very, VERY charming. Stubborn, prideful, sensual, protective. In many other ways, he is the complete opposite. Case in point.....the bedroom. A typical taurus is a careful lover. Not mine (and that is perfect for me, the girl who wants a man to take control under the sheets). He does take his time, but he's a very open minded lover. However, I don't get alot of the jealousy, or posessiveness from him. He has been lucky in the fact that he has had many life experiences that have taught him to be open minded and willing to try almost anything. He isn't near as jaded as I am, but he is cautious. VERY patient when he wants to be. Quite the opposite when he is down on his luck. He doesn't mind taking a chance or sacrificing certain things for the possibility of a better future. This will prove to be the biggest issue between us. Keep reading, and you'll see how.


SO, Now we can begin! (I do have a slight flair for the dramatics. Lol)

I knew the workers would be around the office, but I just stayed away from the noise and madness of it all. I was ignoring it for the most part. He was doing some work in the overhead storage space just across the hall from my office. I heard noises and looked up. I was met with a STUNNING pair of blue eyes. I saw a glimpse of fear before he quickly looked away (I believe I may have just caught him staring at me). Can anyone say, ego boost? Being the true aries I am, I made sure to put myself in his line of sight as often as possible......and then some. I made it a goal to find ways to catch him off guard by turning a corner when I knew he was approaching, or pressing myself against the wall with hands up as if in surrender as he passed by with power tools or building supplies for the offices. Just to see how he handled himself under pressure. Needless to say, I continued to catch him watching me, and I was enjoying every second of it. We never exchanged words. Only looks and the occassional smile. Eventually, he didn't even try hiding his intrigue.


One afternoon, he was back up in the storage space making all kinds of noise, and I finally caved. I asked him what he was doing. After the shock of realizing I was talking to him, he started to explain. To this day, I have zero clue what he said he was doing up there. I used the opportunity to return the favor and oogle him. I couldn't help myself. I'm not even close to disappointed by what I see either. So, the cycle continued for a couple of weeks. We were simply flirting from a distance to make our work day much more entertaining. I knew he would only be around for only a month or two, so why not right!?...................Yeah.....totally forgot my office was on the agenda too!



Obviously I'm not a shy person. I'm very outgoing and I love friendly banter. I began to joke around with a couple of his coworkers. Mr. taurus continued to stay in the background, smiling, and occassionally laughing at the jabs and smart remarks going on around him. Walking back to my office one afternoon my doorway was blocked because they were involved in some pow wow about painting, or dry wall. Hell, I don't know. I walked right up and joined the conversation though. They were in my way! What else was I supposed to do? I conveniently stood right next to my taurus and realized how damn tall he is (I'm kinda short, and I love it when a man towers over me. He totally fits that bill). That's also the first time I paid attention to his voice. Deep, sexy, and very southern. They eventually disperse. That's when he caught me off guard for the first time. I looked up at him before walking into my office. He was smiling, but shaking his head from side to side. I asked what I'd done now and he tells me, "you have the most unbelievable eyes". He follows that up with "so expressive". I stare for a few moment and thank him. Then quickly walk away. It takes every ounce of strength I have not let him see me grinning from ear to ear on the way back to my desk......Taurus-1 Aries-0.



A few days later, I'm in a temporary office and he's working in mine. I inquired with my bosses about having some new shelving put in and was told to let my Taurus know (Score! I get to have a conversation with him). Since he's expressed interest in my eyes, I quickly work up a plan to use that to my advantage. I bounce my ass right to the breakroom where he and his coworker are talking (I later found out that I interupted a very heated argument. He told me when he saw me turn the corner and call his name, his anger completely deflated. He says that's when he knew he was in trouble with me). I attempt to sweetly explain what I wanted done in my office. He smiled, and listened, then told me it would be no problem. Actually, the coworker answered for him, but he knew my request was directed at him.



I use my file cabinets all day, every day. They couldn't be moved to my temporary office, so they were placed just outside of my regular space. That forced me to be within feet of him several times a day. We slowly began that flirty banter thing people tend to do. It's apparent right off that I am the more outgoing one. Much louder, and very blunt. I do manage to keep something to myself though. The fact that he lingers on my mind after I leave every day. He doesn't need to know that. Still, I know he is "growing on me". More than I care to acknowledge too. I also know that once he's finished, he will move on and become a fond memory. So I forge on working my eyes just so I can see him smile for as long as he's around. I see him coming down the hall one afternoon, so I smile and lock eyes with him. Big mistake! He must have had his Wheaties and a shot of courage that morning. Next thing I know, he's backing me into the copier. Oh yeah.....I said it. As in, leaning in, and invading my personal space which forces me to back into the copier (for the record, the whole time, my eyes are locked on his and I refuse to break contact. He was looking at me with determination, and that screams challenge. My eyes are the only defense I have against him. I HAVE to use them.........I swear, I can't make this shit up). The conversation goes something like this:



Him: Stop doing that.

Me: Doing what?

Him: You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Me: (smiling) I have no idea what you mean.

Him: Uh huh.....Just be careful little girl.



He stares for a few seconds too long before walking away. Jesus, that was sexy!.........Taurus-2 Aries-0 (damnit).........He knew he threw me too. It put a little pep into that shy taurus' step and totally had my mind spinning. Before the end of the day, he dropped by and handed me his card. He said that he'd be working on my office all weekend so I could call, text, or email any time. That was a Friday afternoon. I was having a Halloween party the following night, so I had a ton to do after work. I knew I wouldn't be able to call for a day or two at least. He had enough of my attention that I wasn't about to count him out either. So, I tucked the card in my pocket, and left for the weekend. As I ran errands all day Saturday, I notice that the copier incident keeps playing in my mind. I realize that his gaze was just as intense as mine. Not only that.......the fact that he had me backing up using ONLY those eyes has me biting my lip every time I think about it. He has managed to work his way under my skin, and I am enjoying the hell out of it way too much.........I. AM. IN. SO. MUCH. TROUBLE!!



I started straightening up for the party. I picked up my jeans from the day before and his card fell out. Again, the smile finds its way across my face. I ponder for all of 3 seconds before deciding to utilize it. Of course I don't want to seem desperate (haha), so I decide to go the email route. I simply ask how my office is coming along. He quickly responds with "you're almost finished up here blue eyes!". I smile at the new nickname (A name that he still uses). The other part kind of bums me out. When he's done, I won't see him near as much. Eventually, he will be gone all together. The fact that I'm worried about this scares the hell out of me though.



We exchanged several emails throughout the rest of the day. That getting to know each other stuff. I even sent him a couple of pictures of me in my costume. He told me I scare the hell out of him but wouldn't explain how. He compliments me so much I feel like I'm the grand prize at a 'fight for what you want' competition. I ain't all that, believe me. I usually roll my eyes at such things. I'm no beauty queen, but you couldn't tell him that. Nothing I said was changing his opinion. He told me that guys usually have an idea of what the perfect girl is like. Her shape, size, general description, etc....... He told me the first day he saw me stand up and walk to my file cabinents, he noticed that I had some of those qualities for him. And the day I walked up and stood beside him, it was like I'd walked out of his dream. To this day, I think that is the cheeziest thing ever. He agrees, but he is adamant that it's true. He says there is no other way to explain it.



By Sunday the emails turn to a semi-sexual nature. I'm blunt. He's confident. It was bound to happen. Neither of us are shy about our likes and desires. He is much more experienced, but my experiences breech a boundry he's never crossed (this usually happens with most people I meet). I've only met one man who didn't shy away from my deepest desires. This man certainly wasn't him. He is a taurus though. He has mastered the art of making a woman feel cared for, protected, and giving her pleasure. I'm an aries. I can care and protect for myself, and I've definately learned to pleasure myself quite well. What I want is a man who will take that right away from me and tell me when I can and can't have it. (Remember....."dominant everywhere but the bedroom") After he discovers this, he proceeds to tell me that I scare him even more. It doesn't matter though. I'm only flirting with him. Maybe I get a date, or even a steamy romp at best. I'll enjoy it while I can, while keeping him at a distance.



He informs me that when he looks into my eyes, he can't help but go weak in the knees. I teased him, and told him that I would avoid his gaze so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. So on moday, he pops in to say good morning and I simply smile before looking down and covering my eyes. Next thing I know, he is standing over me and gently places his fingers under my chin and lifts it. It was the most tender gesture. He told me never to do that. That he looks forward to looking in my eyes every chance he gets. I just nod and say okay.



That week was filled with endless emails, and constant conversations throughout the day. by Thursday, he had finished my office and moved on to the next. He told me that he had something for me and to be sure to see him before I leave work that day. At this point, I'm beginning to get a little scared of his intentions. I am not looking for any type of relationship, but our conversations and the perfect flow of how things were progressing made this very difficult to step away from. I knew that this gift was probably a kiss or something along those lines. I agreed to say goodbye before I left. When 3:30 rolled around I ignored the voice in my head telling me to run to my car and don't think twice. I went to the office he was supposed to me working in, and he wasn't there. I tried a couple more places, and couldn't find him. I was a little disappointed. I know I didn't want to get caught up in anything with him, but I also know I craved the attention he was giving. I finally went on to the car, and took my time about leaving. he never showed so I left.



He sent an email almost immediately asking if I had left. I told him I had, but that I looked for him and waited. I needed to get home to pick my son up from football practice, so I had to go. He appoligized for getting caught up in a conversation with someone and not realizing what time it was. I assured him that it was ok and that I'd be back the next day. I told him he could give it to me then. He was still upset, but accepted it.



All night Thursday, I pondered the thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head. I decided that I needed to push them all aside and see it all for what it was. meaningless flirting and a few emails. Okay......alot of emails. It didn't matter. i'd made up my mind. I'd start to distance myself before it was too late. So on Friday morning when he came around for the ritual "good morning", I replied and made myself busy for most of the day. He caught up with me a couple of times, and we'd end up laughing or joking. I found myself easily enjoying it, and allowing it to just happen. After he'd walk away, I'd mentally kick myself in the ass for breaking my vow. By the end of the day I was so frustrated with my behavior, that I was outright angry and moody. I stopped in to tell a friend to have a good weekend and he walked by. he asked me if I could hang around a couple of more minutes so he could give me what he'd wanted to the previous day, and I snapped at him. I told him I couldn't and that I needed to go. He had done nothing wrong, but I was angry at myself because of my feelings for him, so he caught the brunt. He was shocked, but was quick to inform me that I could stop it all any time I wanted. I'd just need only say the words.



Of course i couldn't say the words. I was backpeadling while still trying to keep my promise to myself. Very jekyll and Hyde I know. I all but sprinted to the car and peeled out of the place. About halfway home my concious started tapping on my shoulder. Telling me what a bitch I had been to him for no reason. I couldn't take it anymore. Why in the world was I trying to push away something that felt so easy and natural? I made a split second decision. I pulled the card out of my purse, took a deep breath, and dailed his number for the first time. he picked up after a couple of rings and without even telling him who it was, I began rambling on about how sorry I was. I guess he figured out who I was quickly, because he immediately told me I had nothing to be sorry for. he told me never to feel bad for expressing my true feelings. I covered my idiocy up with the excuse of just having a bad day. He isn't one to hold a grudge, so we quickly moved past the afternoon's events and on to more general conversation. He told me he had to tell me something before things progressed any further. He told me that he was technically still married, but that his wife had went to Califonia a year ago claiming to do some training for work, and never came back. it was actually a relief to hear. I was technically still married because by ex was stubborn and still thought he would be able to talk me into coming back to him after 2 years of seperation. It wasn't happening.



Once we were past that and agreed that neither ex mattered, we slid right back into the process of seeing where all this would lead. We spoke on the phone all weekend. It was so much better than emails. I could hear his laugh and the excitement in his voice. We talked about our past relationships, our childhoods, and our kids. We both have teenage boys. I have 2 and he has 1. He told me he would like to take me out and when I hesitated, he told me he would be content if I'd meet him for coffee during lunchtime on Monday. That seemed harmless so I agreed. Not long after that we got on the subject of kissing. he told me that a kiss can make or break everything. He said that if a kiss is bad, then it's bye bye. I totally agreed with that.



Monday rolls around, and we agree to meet at Starbucks around lunchtime. We were both busy throughout the morning and didn't get to talk much. He called me when he left for Starbucks. I finished what I was doing and made my way shortly there after. He was waiting at a table outside when I arrived. I parked and got out of my car. He was walking toward me with that same determined look in his eyes the day he cornered me at the copier. Before I could get a word out he said "we're going to get this out of the way right now". He grabbed my face (yeah, in that good way we girls always see in the movies) dipped his head, and kissed me. This is probably the most perfect first kiss in the history of the world. At least in my world anyway. It was slow, tender, and soft. I was lost in the moment completely. It didn't matter that I was standing in the middle of a parking lot with people all around. I relished the moment. When it was over, I kept my eyes closed for a moment and smiled before opening them. He was staring at me with an equally large smile. My only response...."do we go on now?". His didn't miss a beat. He nodded and said "oh yeah". We made our way inside, and after a battle over who was going to pay for my coffee (he won), we walked back outside. He told me that he'd been trying to kiss me for a week. That was what he had wanted to give me last week (I knew it). Before returning to the office, we shared a couple of more kisses, then left.