Nice guy no more

A letter to all Women,



         You know I constantly hear how you women want a nice guy, but where do your actions show your conviction.  Here’s my back story on why I see no actions to match your statements.  I’ve always been a nice guy and a gentleman, but I’ve never seen any good come of it.  I was engaged to this girl when I joined the military years ago, as soon as I graduated training we got married.  Everything seemed to go fine until I deployed.  The first month I was gone, she totaled my car racing.  The next three months she had already cheated on me within the ball park of ten guys.  She begged me to stay with her and I said that I needed time.  Skip forward a few months, when I tell her I think I’m ready to try and work things out when I get back she stops me to say she’s pregnant with another man’s child.  So I go through with the divorce.  Skip forward to the next girl.  We started talking a while I was deployed during that time and seemed to really get along.  We meet up when I get back and things don’t seem to bad, I’m still being the nice guy of course.  Well after about a week of back and forth she keeps playing games, because she’s just gotten out of a relationship that wasn’t good.  Well she invites me to hang out one night with her at the bar, as well as the guy that dumped her.  She keeps paying attention to him, while I just relax and try to play it cool.  We talked for awhile that night and just seemed to click but she never wanted to start anything.  No matter how much we talked.  So I kind of let that drop off. 



         Skip forward to the next girl, she’s dating a friend of mine and I’m showing no interest in her.  Well they get into a fight and she just keeps trying to go out with me, so I think lets start off slow if at all and just get to know each other.  She keeps acting interested and keeps trying to get things going.  I’m still having issues trusting people at this point but she explains that my friend was treating her terribly which I wasn’t surprised about and said that she was really into me.  So, at this point I’m thinking fine we can maybe start to move things along from just hanging out and actually go on a date, well we do fine but she has to go back home since she’s from out of town.  Well I’m on leave so I decide why not, this could be a fun trip and I offer to help her drive back since it’s a lengthy trip.  Well while we’re traveling things aren’t going to bad, I said I’ll catch a grey hound back home and she tells me she wants me to stay.  So while I’m there I help her around her house and spend time with her.  In a matter of a day of me just trying to help out she starts getting cold and ignoring the fact that I’m there, so I try to talk to her and she says it’s nothing.  So I get my plane ticket back home and she says she wants to take another trip back there.  I tell her it’s cool and get her a ticket as well.  We get back to my home town and she just completely drops off of the face of the earth until she needs something a few days later.  I help her out then she leaves and ignores any attempt to contact her.  I find out she’s back with this guy just partying and having a good time.  So basically I say screw this and move on.



         Then comes a few more minor flings where the same thing happens and these girls just keep leading me on for a whole lot of nothing.  Then I get ready to move to a new area and meet a girl that just seems to be awesome.  She’s fun loving, good personality and beautiful.  Well the probably is she was dating this douche that was mooching off of her and really treated her like shit, when people were around he would constantly be trying to hang on her and always just seemed to be jealous, so I asked her why she was with him.  She said that she wasn’t sure and just wanted to break up with him.  Well the next few weeks we were flirting from time to time and she seemed interested, she even talked about wanting help getting this guy out of her life.  So I decide to intervene and actually talk with the guy.  At first he acts like a complete dick and just keeps trying to say that I’m trying to break him and his girl up.  Which in honesty I wanted that to happen but it’s something she really wanted but wasn’t too afraid to do.  He complained about how she acted around him and how it felt like she didn’t want to be with him.  So I suggested he break up with her.  He kept saying “yeah, I should it would be better” but never actually went through with it.  So at this point he keeps getting worse, basically starting to get this girl in debt and causing her issues so me and a couple of her other friends come over talk with her and get her to kick him out of the house.  He wouldn’t leave without being able to drive back home a several hundred miles so I give him enough money to get out of town and get home then he decides to just go to a friend’s house and get drunk that night.  He shows up a few hours later drunk off his gord and screaming for the girl to come out of her apartment.  Me and two other guys come out to tell him to leave and he accuses one of the other guys of stealing his girl then starts to chase him.  A few hours of me and another buddy pinning this guy down till the cops show up and take him away and this girl smiles at us and thanks us.  Well she’s still flirtatious but she invites another guy over to hang out with everyone that night.  She ends up getting him to take her to a cousins house where she’s left everyone else to sleep at her apartment.  I treat it as nothing because I don’t want to seem jealous since we weren’t dating and tell her if she wants to get away for a week me and another buddy were going to rent a cabin up north and just go relax for awhile all she had to do was bring a friend for my buddy.  Well when the time comes she almost doesn’t even go and says that her friend will meet us at the cabin later.  That first night comes she comes and hangs out in my room.  We pass out on the bed and in the middle of the night she’s gone.  I’m curious to see what’s going on so I check my buddies room to see what’s up and the door’s locked.  The remainder of the trip she made me feel like a third wheel and said she wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship but she wanted to move slow.  She just leaves me to my room and stays in my buddies room for the rest of the trip.  I just continue to ignore this (when I asked my buddy he swore to me nothing happened).  Well we get back and she flirts a little more, as time progresses she keeps playing games and flirts with the guy who gave her a ride from her apartment that one night.  During that time I ask her if she is interested in him and if I’m wasting my time with her.  She insists that she just needs more time and wants to start something with me eventually.  This continues till I move out of town.



The last girl that I saw, I wasn’t even interested in but thought why not be friends.  She was adamant about getting together sometime to hang out.  Well we do and I’m not really that in to her but something just happened that night and I just went with things as they happened.  Well I wasn’t really trying to be that nice but she was just interested so events transpired that night and I felt like shit the next morning for leading her on.  I didn’t know how to tell her I wasn’t interested and didn’t even call her the next day.  After about a week she called me, slightly pissed but still interested in me.  I talked with her about how I felt and that was that.



         So what I’ve noticed here is that there is a trend with what all of you say you want when in reality the truth is far from that.  You want a guy that plays games, a guy that could give a damn about you, someone who waits to see if you pay part of the tab, someone who let’s the door close on you.  Someone who could give a shit about what you say, because let’s face it all they want is your body.  This has led me to the conclusion that I have gone about my life the wrong way, I shouldn’t ever be thinking about having a long-term relationship or being nice.  I should just play all of the same games and act like the douche bag that you all secretly want, because hey if you keep getting kicked in the nuts one day you’ve got to realize it’s time to wear a cup start playing the same game. 



         In summary to all you women out there, your kind has taken one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet and turned him into the monster you’re always talking about leaving.  Why because at least I know I’ll get mine and never worry about being played again!