College Experience |
I have got to admit, I was overly excited that day, and by ‘that day’, I mean the day of the dissection of the most noble frog I have ever met, of course I haven’t met that many frogs, but still for the record, I have got to show some ill-will respect for that dark green, slimy thing, oops, I am loosing it again, I mean the respectable Mr. Frog, after all, he gave up his croaky life just for the sake of me learning that teeny tiny module of his digestive system, not to forget his nervous system and all! The day the teacher declared the open mass murder of the opposing green army, or she might have just said, ‘frog dissection’, I was excited, man! I was beyond excited! I was all ready with my scalpel, scissors and forceps---and a teeny tiny bit of a napkin, in case I feel don’t feel like seeing the frog all torn up, without covering my nose and mouth. It was not like I was observing hijab in front of the male gene, but there was always a near danger of throwing up---or worst, passing out! Aaahh!! Watch out people! Here’s someone falling on you!!! So, when I met up with my friend on the bright sunny morning of the ‘dissection day’, emphasis on the dissection, my friend looked a little green. NOT! She is not the type to look green, hell, not even yellow! She was looking like a perfect exterminator, about to go for a mass sweep-out movement, and apparently that’s the exact same comment she passed onto me! What can I say? Best friend forever stuff was made for us! So together we walked towards the place where we were going to tear apart Mr. Frog, I meant, Ahem, I was going to gently chloroform him, then when he is dead to the world, I will delicately tear him and after that---well, I don’t know what I am going to do, that’s what teachers are there for, aren’t they? Well apparently my teacher isn’t in the lab yet, you know all the government teachers, never on time! And yes, it’s a government college, so the story is definitely an interesting one, with lots of action and peppy dialogs back and forth! You know, they come, we don’t, and we come and they don’t, that’s the tragic story of our theory classes, but surprisingly so, we are very punctual in our practical classes, and in dissection class? Super punctual!! So that’s what we are doing here, being super punctual and eagerly looking around at our classmates, because Mr. Frog is nowhere to be seen and Teacher is late, we are expecting no excuse from her, not even the lame ones, because that’s just the ritual, they come late and go early, because hell, they have so much responsibilities! Try to understand with me here people, do you understand anything? Because I don’t! So there is nothing more interesting to see then the pale faces of the students around us, you see, the gals who are close to us, are well, like us! Eyes all glittery and smiles mischievous. And the gals, which aren’t so close to us, well, there lost! They definitely look green! ‘Assemble here class!’ the teacher calls out. Wow, that was fast, she actually came early a few minutes and what’s with the fine English statement today? We actually understood it in one go, usually it was like, we thought it was some native language which we didn’t know of, but it always turned out to be urdu+English! What fun! And how in the world did Mr. Frog got smuggled into the lab without our notice, I mean we had all our eyes glued to the door to welcome the chief-guest, but then maybe, come to think of it, we were rather enjoying watching a girl camouflaging her color from normal to white, then yellow to green, so we might have missed Mr. Frog’s entrance, just might, not quit, because certainly saw him being transferred onto his death-bed with a couple of huge forceps, not death-bed, the teacher labeled it as wax-tray, so we have to abide by it. Fancy name, though! So here we go again, the teacher’s hard at work, wow that was fast again, I was just examining his slimy dark green skin, when the teacher have started pinning his fore-arms in a wide ‘V’, then move onto his smart, jumpy legs, and open them in a ‘Y’ shape and pin them too. So now the frog was looking as if someone have said ‘Hands up’ to him and he was going by the rules, of course the scene was interesting and a trio of girls were practically grazing there noses against the frog’s skin, they were so into it! ‘Hey, give the dude some privacy!’ I called out, it just came out of my mouth, good thing it did, because I certainly made those girls pink and put away there big heads away from Mr. Frog, so the rest of us amateur exterminators could take notes of our lesson. Good thing the teacher didn’t heard or well, understood my comment, or I was in some big trouble! So the teacher did what we expected her do, cut Mr. Frog up, then she mentioned to save some abdominal vein, so the frog won’t loose much blood and we will be able to examine the systems properly. She did another set of tearing and cuttings, explaining from where to cut and which system to lay out and pin so we can easily study them, ok that part was totally not needed, but still we have to do it, to gain better marks, or that’s what the teacher muttered, her face contorted with concentration. ‘That’s the jugular vein.’ She pointed somewhere in the heart part of the frog. ‘Where teacher?’ a girl asked eagerly, immediately digging her face into the frog’s tray in hopping to see, what none of us could see and were smart enough to not to ask and see. ‘It’s right in front of your nose, girl!’ the teacher cries irritated, ok so here’s my punch-line for the examiner if I get this dissection for my practical test and if he asks me where is the jugular vein, ‘It’s right in front of your face, teacher!’ Ho! Teachers today, they don’t understand a thing! How much they are beginning to look like us, not understanding a thing, because I am telling you people, me and my friends didn’t understood a thing, except to see that Mr. Frog wasn’t slimy and dark green any more, but bloody and brown. Poor Mr. Frog! I was just sympathizing for Mr. Frog, when the lab attendant pushed a wax-tray right beneath my nose, saying, ‘Your frog.’ In a most monotonous and stern voice, which would send a person to his death sleep! Ok my Mr. Frog, I mean, my Mr. Frog doesn’t look very friendly, he’s too much green, no almost black, he’s looking so scary, or maybe he is too much close, Yikes, I am so out of here! Friends? Friends? Where are they when one needs them, my loyal friends? Ok, so one of them is dead, no, I mean, she fainted, my friend actually fainted! I am so disowning her; one of my other friend is doing something by the sink, oh my god! She’s throwing up! I don’t even want to look her way again! Finally I look at the friend with whom I came in, ok, that’s my friend alright, she is quietly slipping through the door and motioning me to come with her, and now she looks green, yep she defiantly looks green! ‘You look green,’ but guess what, she was the first one to say that to me, the nerve! ‘You do too.’ I retorted. ‘I hope not dark green?’ she joked. ‘No, not like teacher’s Mr. Frog.’ I solemnly replied back. ‘Ugh! My frog was black, can you believe that?’ she asked me disbelievingly. ‘Same case here, Hun!’ I replied back sarcastically. ‘Maybe ours didn’t use any whitening creams?’ she suggested. Oh yeah, that is my friend, we are so completing our Doctorship like this! Like big time!!! With a BOOM! |