The Song

                                                                              The Song
                                                                      Written by Jan Lyons

Ordinary chores, on an ordinary household cleaning day
The same mindless routine, done over and over again through the span of so many years
A song begins on the CD player
She’s taken completely by surprise, completely unaware
Instantly, like the crack from a bolt of lightning she is pulled deep into the vortex of her memory
Transported back thirty years to one of the first times she ever fell in love
So naïve, so very inexperienced
She’s sitting on a bar stool in a small bar, in a small town
Her drink of choice, rye whiskey and ginger ale has been poured strong by the bar keep
It sits on a plain, damp cocktail napkin, the cold from the glass seeps into her fingertips
The room is dim, made even more so by the dark wood paneling that engulfs the room
The only illumination comes from above the pool tables, along with the token neon advertising signs for
Coors, Budweiser and others sparsely placed around the room.
Conversation between them comes easily as do the lingering deep kisses stolen in the darkness
Oh so soft, oh so gentle, oh so sweet
Oh so full of the fire and passion that sets a burning in her soul
Her heart feels as though it’s being squeezed tight and it skips a beat
She finds it hard to breathe
A physical manifestation of what this man awakens within her (she feels for this man)
He breaks off the kiss, slips off his seat and gently wraps his hands around hers
He walks over to the juke box and slips coins into the slot to make his selections
She realizes that the music has droned on in the back ground, only now does it come to her ears
He makes his way slowly back to her, his dark eyes locked on hers as he crosses the floor
Minutes pass, as does the music
A song begins, she recognizes the tune
“My boat sails stormy seas
Battles oceans filled with tears
At last my ports in view
Now that I’ve discovered you
I’d give my life so lightly
For my gentle Lady”
He leans in close and whispers in her ear “I played this song for you- for my Lady”
She pulls back and looks deep into his eyes
Did he really just say that?
She searches his eyes, his face for signs of sincerity and hopes in a wildest dream sort of way that it’s really there.
Her heart melts as that single sentence sinks deeper into the part of her soul that she has guarded for so long
“Giving freely and completely, for my Lady”
He lifts her off her bar stool, the next thing she knows they’re whirling around a make shift dance floor.
He holds her close and with every twirl she falls deeper and deeper in love
She feels a bump on her arm while her face is gently pawed
It’s her cat snapping her back to what is now her reality
She looks down at the yellow cleaning gloves on her hands
The sink, the tub, the toilet, vanity, the water soaked cleaning rag still in her hand, all still there
The song continues and tears begin to run freely down her cheeks
She feels the familiar stab of pain that cuts deep down to the bone
She realizes this hurt will never go away
Not with time, not even though she tries desperately to push the memory down
Thoughts of lying in his arms, wrapped in his warm embrace, bathed in the feeling of belonging
Trusting him with these fragile new feelings, trusting she will not be hurt
“Words that you say when we’re alone
Though actions speak louder than words”
She thinks back to a month or maybe a little more after that night spent with him


Back to a bigger bar, a bigger town, with flashing lights sprayed across the room
She is leaning against a back wall watching as another dance’s across the floor with him
No longer is she the focus of his attentions, now it is concentrated on another
Can he not see?
Does he not care?
How can he not know that she is dying inside?
She tries to hold back the tears but they come anyway
She quickly leaves before more patrons see her crying
For her, there is no understanding how this man that she trusted so much, betrayed her so easily, discarded her with little thought,  could have been so heartless after being so tender
He broke her heart into so many pieces she wondered if it would ever be put back together
The song ends but her thoughts go on
Where is he now?
Does he ever think of her?
Does he even remember her?
All questions she knows will forever go unanswered
The tears have stopped leaving her with red, puffy eyes and a runny nose
The memories of the past are still bitter but now just a bit sweet
Memories that will haunt her for the rest of her days
A love lost, evaporated but always with wisps of thoughts that surround her
And always when she hears that song