Three Chapters

      The boy waited by the phone as the sun began to rise outside his window.  His father had not called or come home all night.  The boy watched infomercials on TV and pretended that he was not waiting for his father to call and tell him he was on his way.  At 7 AM, the boy finally did get a call from his mother, whom he had seen since she left home on Christmas two weeks before.  She told the boy that his father had been in a car accident and she was on her way to pick the boy up and and take him to see his father at the hospital, and that she would be coming with a "friend".  The boy did not know what to make of any of this, and didn't particularly care; all he wanted was to hear his father's voice.

      The boy looked around the school's gymnasium as the music played.  He was searching for the girl he had seen earlier that week in English.  He could not find her in the mob of teenagers who stood in front of the DJ's table.  He did not see her by the concession stand.  At last he found her standing against the wall of bleachers.  By the look in her eyes, he knew she had been searching for him as well.  He went to her and asked her to dance, and she gave him her hand.  They laughed and danced and sang together as the hours disappeared.  Then, surprisingly, she kissed him on the mouth and he couldn't dance anymore, because he could not feel the floor under his feet.

      The young man watched as the workers lowered his father's casket into the grave.  He did not notice as people patted him on the shoulder and gave their condolences.  He did not see their faces as they gave him pity.  He only saw his own tears, only felt his own guilt.  He jumped as the honor guard discharged their rifles in salute; his brother noticed this and teased him for it, trying to take the young man's mind off of his grief, but the young man couldn't respond.  There was no room in his heart for embarrassment that day.  He went home that night and wailed at the sky and asked God why this had to happen, demanded that God answer him.  God did not answer.