IB; 10 years after

I feel like there's something missing.

Like a piece of me.

It's like missing a limb, though my body is in tact.

There are days where I just feel heavy, burdened by this something that has been lost or forgotten.

Growing up, I never figured out what it was. I still don't know. I don't know if I'll ever find out.

It's so heavy though... Painful at times, even.

I've come to rely on painting; it's always been there and it's always helped.

I'm not sure why I started painting to begin with, only that my family said I seemed to start when I was at a young age after taking me to visit a museum for the first time.

When I am most troubled, painting helps me escape. I can create as many worlds as I want. And for a brief period of time, I can see them in my head, vivid and alive and sometimes beautiful, sometimes terrifying.

If it becomes too much, all I have to do is open my eyes before I become too lost in it.

But... once I do that... I am back in reality, where everything feels heavy once more. And that piece of me is still missing...

I wonder if I'll ever be able to find it.

* * *

Pavements were wet from the rain, but thankfully the sun was just beginning to peek out from behind the clouds. The showers have been making unexpected visits more often than usual this week. To most people, this was a bother, but to her... She enjoyed the rain. Well, she enjoyed the sights and smells after the showers. Everything seemed to be much prettier after the gloom of a rainstorm.

"Did you hear about the museum down a couple blocks?" the girl with short hair behind her asked. Another girl's voice answered "Oh, was that today?"
"Yes!" the first girl beamed. She leaned over her desk and tapped the girl sitting in front of her lightly on the shoulder.
"Eve, did you hear about the museum? Me and Sarah were thinking about going, what do you think?"
Eve's reaction to her shoulder being tapped was simply glancing back at her friend, nonchalant, a bit blank in expression and a reply with "I haven't heard."

It was the end of the day, class was over and all the students at the all-girls private school were in a hurry to leave before another rainstorm rolled in. Eve chose to stay behind and wait until the halls were less cluttered. She was aloof and often wondered what the two young ladies, Mei and Sarah, saw in her. Though she wasn't complaining, some company now and then was appreciated, but she'd much rather keep to herself. It was just who she was.

"You seem more out of it today than usual, you know." Sarah said and adjusted her glasses. She was a sweet girl, shy behind a pair of glasses and often did her hair up in a single braid. Eve found herself fond of Sarah's company more so than Mei's simply because she was quieter and wasn't like most girls who hiked up their school uniform's skirt above mid-thigh or wore atrocious, gaudy accesories. Mei, however, was one of these girls and was busy fiddling with her bracelets when she agreed with Sarah's comment.

"Oh.." Eve's expression didn't change as she stood up and gathered her things, ready to leave. Her head was beginning to ache. It was faint, but still noticeable and still irritating. She was hoping to leave without much more conversation, but Mei continued to chatter away.

"I think we should go check out the museum. I'm sure you'd be interested in it, especially, Eve! You need to get out more anyways. Maybe we can stop by the cafe` near it first?"
"I think it would be fun." Sarah agreed in her soft, mousy tone.
"I'm not sure I should be out much, today-" Eve began to speak, but was cut off when Mei threw one of her arms around her friend's shoulder and nuzzled her.
"Eveeee~! Come on, this will be fun. It's just us three and we can have some fun before it starts raining again!"
She allowed herself to be nuzzled but sighed softly, her expression as blank as ever before smiling faintly. "Let me make a call first.." She said and suppressed another smile when Mei let go and whooped, gathering her own things up. She wasn't too sure what exactly her friends wanted to do with the museum after all this time. They never mentioned going any time before even though it had been down the street this whole time for years, but she was secretly curious.

Eve was a budding art student and was very fond of creating things, painting especially. She had always found herself weighed down by something, unsure what it was exactly, but for years, painting has helped keep her peace of mind. It made her a bit happy that her friends actually suggested doing something of Eve's interest.

She stood out in the empty school hallway, finally free of noisy students, and made a call to her parents at home. As she waited for someone to answer, she could barely hear what Mei and Sarah were going on about inside the classroom still.
"Hello?" her mother answered the phone.
"Mother? It's me."
"Eve? Hello, darling, are you on your way home yet?"
"No, that's why I'm calling. Sarah and Mei are insisting I go with them to a cafe` and the museum a few blocks from the school."
"Oh, that's kind of them! The museum, huh? It's been a while, hasn't it? Quite a few years. You should go then, that should be fun." her mother chimed.
"Hn? It's been a while?" Eve asked, puzzled by what she meant.
"Since you've been to that museum. We went there together as a family, remember? It was for.. Oh, what was it? I cannot remember his name..." her mother began to mumble to herself. For a moment, Eve felt her head begin to ache more. She winced and pressed a hand to her head.
"Well, anyways, Mother. I might be a little late is what I'm saying. I don't know how long we'll be out for."
"Oh, that's alright! You deserve to go out and have some fun, Eve. Especially on your birthday!"
She smiled softly even though her mother couldn't see.
"Nineteen years old," her mother sighed, "I'm so proud of you, darling. You're growing up to be such a lovely young woman."
"It's because I have such a wonderful family to help me grow."
"Such a sweet girl! Your father and I are both very proud of you. Though please, do us both a favor and find a nice young man who can give you the things we can't!"
Her smile twitched slightly and she was unsure of how to respond to such a comment.
"Oh, but nevermind that for now! Focus on yourself! If you do not seek it, surely it will come find you first."
Eve laughed quietly. "Okay, mother.." and they said said their goodbyes before hanging up. Leaning against the wall, Eve played the conversation in her head once more. If you do not seek it, surely it will come find you first.
"What will?" She asked herself. She winced again and placed her hand to her head. A small throb of pain, but just as soon as it came, it went away again. How irritating, she thought as she rubbed her head.
"Hey! Are we ready to go?" Mei stepped out of the classroom with Sarah following behind. Eve nodded, keeping a soft smile. "Ready."

* * *

"Eve?"

My eyes were focused on the paper on my bedroom floor, my hand kept a vicious grip on the crayon - what color was it?

"Darling, what are you doing with all this paper?"

The paper... There were plenty of sheets scattered on the floor, but I was focused on one at my knees.

I was trying to see something.

"I'm trying to find something." I spoke.

"Oh?" I think my mother sat down next to me on my floor. I didn't look at her. "What are you trying to find?"

"Hnn." I made a soft noise, acknowledging her presence, but I had no answer to give. What was it? For some reason, I began to slowly drag the crayon over the paper.

My mother was quiet and watching. The more seconds that passed, the more violent my scribbling became. Scribbling? How old was I at the time..?

"Eve...?" my mother called out to me, but I could barely hear her. I scribbled faster and faster, covering the whole sheet of paper in color.

Blue.

"Eve!" Mei finally snapped her fingers in front of Eve's face, catching her by surprise. She gasped softly and straightened herself up. She was sitting in a chair. She blinked and glanced around a bit. She was sitting in a cafe` with her two friends seated across from her, staring with curious and worried expressions.
"Are you okay?" one of them asked.
"Yes," was Eve's response as she gripped the small cup that was in her hands apparently. Coffee? Tea? It was warm. She inhaled the scent softly and relaxed a bit. Her hands were shaking and she was desperately trying to still them. The weight on her shoulders was heavy all of a sudden. It especially grew heavy when she looked back on when she was a child. How her love for art all started, she can't remember it exactly except that she had always been doing something. Drawing. Painting. Pottery. A little bit of sculpting. She was always trying to create something, but couldn't understand why she was doing it or why she even wanted to. It just... came naturally. The more she looked back on it and tried to find a particular answer as to why she started venturing into this kind of world... the more heavy the weight felt. Sitting there, across from her friends, a warm cup of something in her hands, she felt the small pain returning to her head.
"I'm fine." she said. She tried to push back the pain and the reoccurring, brief flashbacks in the back of her head.

"Are you sure you're up to hanging out with us today?" Mei must have asked. Eve was staring at her reflection in the drink. "I'm sure." she replied. She was already here. And she was still curious. "What exactly is going on at the museum?" she asked quietly.

"A ten year anniversary!" Sarah proclaimed happily. She began munching on some sort of pastry when Mei took over.
"Yeah, there's this famous artist and all his work is put up in the gallery for everyone to see. Ten years ago, the grand opening of the museum hosted all of his work and they made lots of money off of it. But afterwards, they took it all down. Apparently it's only for special occasions? I'm not too sure, but it was in the school newspaper that they were showing all his work once more for the ten year anniversary! I'm curious to see what kind of artist this person was."
"Ah.." Eve stared more at her reflection, aware that she was blank once more. She studied herself though. A young woman now, she had very feminine features, big reddish-brown eyes, straight brown hair that fell mid-back. She was a bit plain in her opinion. The girls at her school would find ways to experiment with make-up or hairstyles where as she'd rather keep it simple. She was too busy studying herself, wondering if maybe she was unattractive since she was different from most, and hardly paid attention to what Mei and Sarah were talking about even though she had asked the question.
"Anyways, are you ready to head over there? I'm super excited!" Mei stood up and leaned closer towards Eve, who met her glance. "Huh?"
"Are you even paying attention, silly? Come on, let's go! I want to see you get all excited over the artsy stuff, since, you know, you're into that sort of thing."

Eve almost reluctantly followed after the two when they made their way to the door. She hesitated and caught sight of some treats in the cafe's window display. Small, hamburger-like treats of many different colors. While stealing a glance at them, she could almost taste them in her mouth, sweet, even though she never recalled trying one ever. For a second, she almost wanted to go back and ask for some, but her two friends were already walking ahead of her, calling her out to follow. Stepping outside, Eve closed her eyes and enjoyed the scent of wet sidewalk. The skies were clear, but everything else was still wet. The air was refreshing and thankfully, the weight had lifted just a small bit away from Eve's shoulders. She smiled contently to herself and enjoyed every moment walking to the museum.

"Here we are!" Mei cried. They finally reached the building. It was a block long and two stories high. It was a simple building with small doors leading inside.
"Nothing too special on the outside, huh?" Sarah commented. Eve nodded in agreement.
"It's what's inside that counts though, right? It's gotta be pretty cool in there. Look! There's the sign!"
Next to the entrance, there was a sign decorated in ribbon and proclaiming "A True Artist's 10 Year Anniversary: Weiss Guertena." in cursive lettering.
Eve attempted to study the sign, but Mei linked her arm around her's and pulled her through the doors.

The inside of the building was much more lovely. White tile, white walls, high ceiling with small chandeliers and some nice classical music to fit the mood. It was a bit quiet besides the music, except for the occasional soft talking and footsteps of other people making their way down the first hall or up the flight of stairs near the entrance. The man at the reception desk welcomed the young ladies and offered a pamphlet and spoke the price upon entering.
"Oh here, let me take care of it. It's on me." Sarah nodded and began chatting away with the man behind the reception desk. Mei was checking her cell phone at the time and Eve picked up one of the pamphlets, brushing one of her fingertips over the name "Guertena" in the title. She mouthed the words and stared hard. Something seemed familiar. She brushed the thought aside before a headache began to pester her. She set the pamphlet down and, without glancing, said "I'm going ahead," and began to make her way down the first hall even as one of the girls said "oh, okay, just be careful and we'll catch up to you later then!" One might have even mumbled after "See, told you she'd fancy the place."

It seemed that Eve's footsteps echoed off the walls as she began wandering. Footsteps and classical music. Everything else seemed much too quiet even for her taste. She didn't know how long she wandered, she did stop and study some paintings here and there. The first that she stopped at was a giant painting that was settled vertically on the floor. There was security rope blocking everyone off from getting too close, but it took up most of the first room. There was some people gathered around and talked in mesmerized, hushed tones. As she grew closer to the security rope, she saw that the painting was indeed very chilling. There was a monstrous fish that almost appeared too realistic and around it, there was a deep ocean, darkening as it made it's way to the center of the painting. An abyss? Yes, that's what it had to be. Eve gripped onto the security rope gently and peered down into this abyss. It was terrifying, too real and it felt as if she could fall into it at any moment and be lost forever...
"Ow.." a sharp and sudden pain struck Eve's temple. She could have sworn someone had hit her, but the group of people there had began to move on, at a distance from where she stood. "Ow..!" Eve grit her teeth and pressed a hand to her head, flinching and moving herself away from the painting and the security rope that surrounded it. She staggered a bit, caught herself and held both hands over her eyes while straightening up. This headache... she thought to herself, what is with it all of a sudden?

She gave herself a moment and began to force herself to walk on, hoping it would clear up if she kept moving. Thankfully, it began to fade and she was able to move her hands away from her head. She sighed irritably and almost considered going back and finding Mei and Sarah and telling them she needed to leave. But, she was enjoying herself at least a little bit. She felt comfortable and curious in this environment. She could do without the classical music maybe, but surrounded by all these different paintings made her feel at ease. At the same time, however, quite a few made her rather uncomfortable. Especially that abyss one. She regretted not reading up on it to see what the story behind it was, but after that headache, she dared not return to that one.

Eve began to wander about in a daze, only half paying attention to the work around her. Her head had not stopped hurting completely. There was still a faint pressure on it. But her feet kept moving her forward, her red mid-thigh skirt swishing and making a faint rustling sound with each step she took. "Maybe I should just go back.." she muttered. Just as she spoke this, she glanced over and saw a sculpture that caught her attention. A giant rose... and like the abyss painting, this one almost seemed too real! She stepped closer and admired the detail in the stem, the thorns and the red petals. It was a high sculpture, maybe 7 or 8 feet high? Quite tall even for her 5'8. She looked over at the sign placed on the wall near the sculpture. She tried to read the fancy lettering, but the curves threw her off a bit and she could only read a bit of what it said. Something about a spirit?
"Beautiful at a glance, but if you get too close," she read quietly out loud, "it will..," she skipped a word, "pain. It can only bloom in 'something' bodies." Eve looked away from the sign and glanced back at the rose. "Very lovely." She murmured and felt a bit heavy while gazing at it. It took some effort to pull away from this piece and force herself to move on.

Wandering again, Eve didn't study most of the other paintings as well as before with the rose sculpture. She was too busy mentally talking herself into forcing the pain out of her head and the weight off her shoulders. She felt much too weighed down and almost felt like collapsing on the floor, yet she managed to stand up straight and keep moving on around the art gallery. How many minutes passed? How many pieces had she seen? She was on the second floor now, right? She passed by some more security tape with three headless sculptures, chilling and quite creepy... She quickly moved on past them.

The more she wandered, the less people she saw it seemed like. She wondered where Mei and Sarah were and thought about going off to find them. "Not yet." she spoke to herself and continued on. She found herself in a long hallway, empty of people besides herself. There was a single, massive painting hung on the wall, taking up most of it's space. She stared up at it, her eyes widening slightly. It was strange... a collage of different shapes, colors, images, things.. It chilled her. She didn't dare read the sign and instead, struck by a fear all of a sudden, she turned on her heels and dashed out of that hallway as quickly as possible. She couldn't take it.
"Mei and Sarah." she muttered. She needed to find them. She needed to get out. For some reason, it was all too much for her. Her head ached, her body felt heavy and now... She was scared. She wasn't exactly sure why, but there was something going on, something about this place that scared her down to her very bones.

She was on the second story again, making her way past other people, not bothering to look at any other painting. She saw the staircase leading down the the first story and hurried herself more, but was too careless and accidentally bumped into another person.
"Ah, sorry!" she apologized and steadied herself after, pausing for a moment and laid eyes on a painting. Her breath was caught and all of a sudden, the footsteps, the voices, even the classical music seemed farther away. This painting... She stepped closer to it to study it more. Everything else, the other paintings near it, the people around her, everything began to fade out slowly as she focused on this one piece.

There was a man. Eyes closed, a strange shade of a deep pastel purple color for hair, pale skin. He was surrounded by flowers, roses in particular. All a fascinating blue color. Eve stood directly in front of the painting and allowed her eyes to wander over this one slowly, taking in every inch of it. She glanced at it's sign. "The Forgotten Portrait." it said. Underneath it, in smaller writing, it said "here lies a man in eternal slumber." Her eyes moved back towards the painting. The man himself wasn't all that beautiful. He seemed a bit feminine in appearance, still noticeably a man though, a strong neck and small, but broad shoulders that held a coat around him. He seemed too real, which was captivating more than terrifying to Eve this time. She stepped closer and realized, he might as well step out of the painting. He'd be only a few inches taller than her it seemed. She paused and settled her gave on the man's face once more. It was peaceful, unsmiling. And all of a sudden, she felt a tear steam down her cheek.
Why am I crying, she wondered. Again, she moved in closer to the painting and admired the blue roses cradling the man in his slumber. It seemed so real. Eve realized that she was nearly face to face with this painting, much too close for anyone to be. She might get in trouble. But for some reason, she couldn't stop herself from bringing one of her hands up and lightly brushing the tips of her fingers down along the man's cheek. She pulled her hand away for a second. "Just a painting." She said, as if to remind herself that it wasn't real. "It's not real." She told herself quietly, whispering. She stared at his face once more, however. Her chest grew tight and it felt as if her heart was picking up speed. Her head throbbed a little and she felt slightly heavy still from earlier, but she managed to brush them aside. Instead, she rested her fingertips lightly on the man's cheek.
"Not real..." she murmured. But a moment later, she was on her toes and leaning closer, lightly touching her lips against where the man's unsmiling mouth was. Her eyes were closed when one last tear escaped down her cheek. Then, his mouth twitched. For a second, Eve remained where she was. What just happened? She pulled away and stared at the man's face. Still... but her fingertips were warm. The painting was warm? She instantly drew her hand back and widened her eyes once more, studying the man. This time, she saw his lips move. It was for a brief second, she was unsure if it were real or not. Until she heard her name.
"Eve." A quiet whisper, almost inaudible. A male voice. Her heart nearly stopped and she felt a chill creep down her spine. Everything was still until the violent throb in her head.

"Ow!" Eve cried quietly. She instantly clutched her head and groaned softly. Her head was in a terrible amount of pain, more so than ever before. Her body felt heavy and her knees nearly buckled. Her body began to shake and her heart was hammering, beating heavily. "Stop..." she begged. Someone needed to help her! Why didn't anyone come to her aid? She leaned forward and tried to catch herself from falling. What had happened. She looked up and saw the sleeping man. Her expression was changed, his brows furrowing into a slight frown, his lips slightly parted and moving once more.

"Eve."

"It hurts..." she groaned and closed her eyes, clutching her head in a sad attempt to stop the pain.

"Eve!"

The same male voice, in the back of her head, called out to her, spoke her name. Familiar. She knew him. His name...

"Garry." she whimpered and then all of a sudden, the pain was gone. The weight had vanished and she straightened herself up. Everything seemed to make sense now... This place, she had been here before. The man, she knew him. Guertena... No wonder it seemed familiar. Ah, she felt so light, it was peaceful. Wonderful. Too light though... She felt as if she were floating. She tried to make a sound, to call out, to say anything, but no sound came. Instead, her body crumpled to the floor and everything went black.

Dreams shortly followed after.

*end of part one*