Seasons of Life

She always lived her life by the seasons. We were best friends, and eventually I started to notice that she wore colors to match the weather outside, in the fall she wore red and orange and we would hide in the fallen leaves. In the winter she would only where white, ‘to match the snow’ she would say. In the spring she wore brown and green, and sometimes some flowers, and in the summer she would were tan and blue to match the beech. As we got older I began to realize that more than her clothing changed with the seasons. The year we turned thirteen was the year I really saw that the way she treated others reflected upon what season it was. That fall her altitude towards me seemed to change first our friendship brightened but then everything fell apart. We had our first big fight the day of the first snow, she was mad at me for obsessing over this guy in our grade. Honestly, I’m not sure what I saw in him I guess he was just a nice guy, and he wasn’t as obnoxious as the other boys in our grade. She stayed pretty cold towards me through the duration of winter, but when spring came she softened up a little. We weren’t as close as we had been after that, we tried but things were awkward. Then she exploded with a heat that could only be compared to the hot summer sun. I had started dating that boy, the relationship didn’t last long, there was no spark, but still from that point on our friendship was only a memory. As fall rolled around we hardly spoke, and when winter came we had stopped seeing each other entirely. A few years passed and we did nothing but pass each other in the hallways, until one day she approached me. It was the day before Valentines Day, but since it was Friday everyone was exchanging flowers from our schools rose sale. When she approached me that day holding in her hand a single red rose, to say I was confused would be an understatement. I had, of course, heard the rumors, but I had never once thought that they could be true. I had myself been struggling with my sexuality for a long time, I’d had many crushes on boys but they had never felt right, I had always chosen to fall for them, and I never was able to choose what girl to fall for. So when she came to me that day and said, “I have loved you since we were children, and I never thought anything else was possible until you met that boy, when you met that boy it was like my heart had been ripped from my chest, and when you dated him I thought I would die. I know you seem to prefer boys but I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.” Then she gave me the rose and said, “So now you know.” After that she just left and I was far too stunned to do anything, all I knew was for the first time it felt right, I wanted to be with her and I wanted her to know. I tracked her down that day and because I hadn’t really worked out what to say I kissed her. I found the sparks that had been missing when I dated that boy. We don’t really talk about him and when we do we certainly don’t say his name. After that she still lived by the seasons, but I didn’t mind. In the winter we would spend our time curled up inside by a fire, she didn’t want to be around anyone else but me. During spring we would go out to places and do things, and in the summer we’d hang out with friends. Then in the fall we’d slip back into our seclusion, but I didn’t mind I just liked spending time with her. For years we lived that way, and everything was great, but like all good things it, unfortunately, had to end. She found out early on in the fall, and by the end of the season the chemo had made her loose all of her hair. She didn’t even want to talk to me that winter; she spent all of her time locked in a room. It took me all of winter to get her to let me in. During spring she started to get some color back in her cheeks, but the doctors told me that it was the disease, and sure enough when summer came she got much worse. The longest day of the year might as well have been the last because that night I lost her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She always lived her life by the seasons, and in the end she died with them too.